HoS 509

Stang "Problem??? What problem? Why everything's just FINE!!!!!" intro
"TIRED OF WAITING" clip (Mary McGuire & Cosmic Dali)
"HEAR MY TRAIN COMIN'" Hendrix clip
"BLACK DAYS" clip (Soundgarden)

"Hey Stang" RANT (w/ bg music by ONLY A MOTHER):

Hey Stang, did you listen to my tape yet? How come I haven't heard it on the show?

(plain hippie)
Hey Stang, man, if you're getting too much email, just don't answer it! DUH! But I have a question.

(upper class)
Hey Stang, you didn't spell my name right on the website, and that picture of Susie looks all grainy on my screen.

Hey Stang, I know you're busy, but you wouldn't BELIEVE what my DOG did today.

(wildly enthusiastic)
Hey Stang, just called to tell you, I won the LOTTERY! "Bob" came through man! I'll be buying a "Bob" shirt real soon. Just wanted to let you know. So tell me how things are GOING.


Dear... you never spend... any time... with the family.

(name censored)
Hey STANG DUDE! I haven't seen you in YEARS! I'm in town and I'll be RIGHT OVER.

Dad, uh, somebody backed into the car today while I was driving it...

(cig-puffing fiend, (name censored))
Hey Stang, you got a minute? I know you're busy so this won't take long. This'll only take you 5 minutes MAX.

(name censored)
STANG have I got a deal for YOU! I have this idea for a game and all you have to do is write the proposal, it'll be easy, we'll all get rich.

(sarcastic, Buck-like)
HEY STANG, I guess you just don't even CARE about ME anymore, guess you're too busy PARTYING with GWAR and fropping with movie stars.

(sad gentle nurse)
Mr. Stang? I'm afraid we have some bad news about your dog's nose. It's cancer.

Well Mr. UH, Stang, we're not accepting applications at this time and well, we'd rather talk to people with COLLEGE DEGREES.

(retarded -- DUMB)
Hey Stang, about those pictures I said I'd scan for you. Uh, I can't find 'em, do you have spare copies you can send me?

(Beavis or Butthead)
Hey Stang, hehheh, this is Bob Dean, the Canadian False Bob, heh heh. GUESS WHAT, heh heh, I GOT INTERVIEWED AGAIN, heh heh, NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH! heh heh

(drunk guy)
Hey REV! REMEMBER ME? We met at that devival in Austin in 1983 and I bought that Bob button from you. But man I lost it, could you send me another one?

Dear Church of the SubGenius: I ordered a Church Video from you THREE WEEKS AGO and I have yet to see any such video in my mailbox. I am alerting the better business bureau.

STANG: you MUST SEE this TV special I taped about UFOs. It's somewhere down near the middle of the tape. Tell me what you think.

(Lisping, squeaky mushmouth)
Rev. Stang. I'm sure you're too high and mighty for people like me, but I sent you FIVE 90 minute tapes of me ranting and if you don't even have the courtesy to respond, you can FORGET any future support from me!

HEY STANG DUDE, you're like WORKING TOO HARD on SLACK man, why don't you SLACK OFF teed? GET IT?? Huh huh huh. And where's the Stark Fist, dude?

Well dear friends... now I know how The Omega Man felt. At least he got to go out KILLIN' 'em during the day...


Media Barrage from Susie's Pain show: ("You lazy bum! Get a job!" etc.)

It's not a problem... we have no... PROBLEMS here... it is mere nothinsuch.... to quote m'g'brarlin's garblin's...

"Tired of Waiting" by Mary McGuire, continued
"Get Your Mind Together" (Beautiful People hendrix remix) clip

"HARD WORK HERESY" Sister Melodious Chopps (off vid of RantNRave-2, Cleveland)

"SubGenius Hell/Heaven" rant, plus CREDITS rap

End of "Tired of Waiting"


Credits, address for Mary McGuire, Zoogz... "tape always runs out" morbid rap


Rev. Susie the Floozie's BOBS SLACKTIME FUNHOUSE -- PAIN show, truncated:

Susie PAIN rant part 1
Oingo Boingo "PAIN" special remix
Misc. clips: Betty Boop, Tom Lehrer, movie mb on pain,
Susie rant on SUBGENII & PAIN,
Ramones "Shock Treatment" clip
Misc. clips, Russ Meyer Trailer
Zappa "Torture Never Stops" clip


PO Box & end clip from Hendrix boot, "Highway jam" "I got 7 dollars in my pocket, but my heart is broke as hell."

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