[SubG] The Man With The Pipe

[SubG] The Man With The Pipe

By Matthew Carey <ac118@lafn.org>
Date: Mon, 29 Apr 1996

================= Begin forwarded message =================

From: paul_s@ak.planet.gen.nz (Paul Sexton)
To: subgenius@armchair.mb.ca
Subject: [SubG] The Man With The Pipe
Date: Mon, 29 Apr

I foolishly ventured to write:
>"Where do you draw the line? I'm not telling you, I'm asking you"

I'll answer my own trivia question, since no-one else has (sob). It
was from a Dead Kennedys song. Anyway I was listening to said band
and was struck with the notion that one of their songs could be
easily, er, modified to produce a paean to you-know-who and a
semi-FAQ of sorts about SubG philosophy. "Put your pencil and paper
where your mind is, kid" I heard a faraway, smooth salesman's voice
say. So here it is. Hopefully it will cause slack gain fomeone out

I know 99.9% of you all will not know this song, but trust me, these
words sound REALLY COOL with it. It's a little known phact that the tune
was originally written by a Church founder in 1953, for use in the
now-apocryphal Book of SubHymnals, and was ripped off by DK. If you don't
know the song, just read the words in a sing-song voice and you've
prettymuch got the gist of the tune. (my ISP doesn't carry alt.slack or
alt.music.dead-kennedys, otherwise I probably would have posted this

(sung to the tune of "The Man With The Dogs" by Dead Kennedys)

I am unknown
But I'm well known
For I am the man with the pipe
My face stuck on lamp-posts
Watches you walking
Think you're "weird"? Well, I like your type

You turn around
My eyes break you down
"Now, what does that guy think he's smilin' at?"
You ain't got no slack
You're being laughed at!
It's time to get a clue

Yeah I'm talking to YOU
Is this message getting through?
I'll save you, I'll save you
And now you're a SubGenius too

(Uh-huh, yeah, yeah)

Down at Wotan's church
I'm watching for converts
Spell of the man with the pipe
I'll haunt you and follow you to work
That face is back again

Creep into you
I won't go away
You're taking yourself too seriously
I smile as you frown
And turn to walk away
You're PINK for all to see

I see a dupe
I see you
And the slackless things you do
Your pstench is true, I'll save you
And now you're a SubGenius too

And I'm gonna save your slack
Yeah, you're gonna get it back
Open wide...

(oh yeah)

See me again, you'll see me tomorrow
Curse of the man with the pipe
You may not "get" me
You won't forget me
Plaguing your unquiet dreams

They've seen me
Ask your friends
"Oh, I know him"
Seen but I'm never heard -- one ounce of
Slack is worth a thousand phoney CON tricks
See how stupid you are?

I dare you, I dare you
To give Stang thirty buckeroos
Your pstench is true, I'll save you
And now you're a SubGenius too

And I'm gonna save your slack
Yeah, you're gonna get it back
Whatcha got inside?
Is it third-nostril hair?
Is a Yeti in there?
I guess you just don't care

As you go to work, your soul's getting bent
Slavin' for the CON just to pay the rent
Get home, watch the TV, it's the football game
Tell your kids to shut up and go away
Open your eyes and you see us on your sidewalk
"They're NUTS, not like us"
While you and your Pinkoid Corporation Lies
Are slowly turning to ashes,
Ashes, ashes, ashes...
And we all fall down.

Vision Temple: "Relate Abolition" Rev. Matthew A. Carey
Send $1 for weird stuff via real mail. 18653 Ventura Blvd.
http://www.rlabs.com/visiontemple/ Suite #379
*!*!* NADER '96 *!*!* Tarzana, CA 91356

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