The perfect place for our new '96 ELECTION SECTION!
art by LIES
ARE YOU SURE that you want to enter this hellhole? Ask yourself: 'IS IT
WORTH IT? Do I REALLY NEED the NEGATIVE VIBES?'
If you asked yourself that, you probably do.
Like all other religions, this one is based on HATRED of those NOT IN THE
RELIGION. However, since we're so much more honest about that fact, our
Hate is all the more PURE, the more UNRELENTING, the more REWARDING.
SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation.
The HOUSE of HATE
We like to think that, as PatrioPsychotic AnarchoMaterialists, we are
ABOVE what amount to purely rhetorical arguments bantered about by lower
primates such as human beings. And yet... and yet... we seem never quite
able to rise above that mundane mud plane. Strive as we might to INFLATE
ourselves, and to ASCEND to loftier heights from which we might peer down
at the squabblings of Earth-dwellers with an objective gaze, yet we still
find ourselves mired in their petty issues.
PITY, THEN, the poor "Conservative on the Internet," outnumbered
as he is in a medium invented by the affluent, educated, evil cultural elite.
But don't pity him for long -- next year he'll probably shut this whole
liberal mess down in fear that his children might stumble online upon a
photo of a dog fucking a horse. (SEE: Sterno's Corner)
THE CAVERN OF CONSPIRACIES
Remember HIGH WEIRDNESS BY MAIL? Well, this is more of that...
the ugly parts, anyway.
Nazis, Satanists, White Supremacists, Commies, Scientologists, Christian
Fundamentalists and even Bob Larson vie for our attention in this compendium
of sheer, unrelenting RIVAL CULT HATE. Can we ever hate them as much as
they hate us? We can only try. And this will help.
OOPS! The following sections didn't end up
getting PREPPED as soon as certain VOLUNTEER BOMBIES promised. (AHEM!!!)
In the meantime, you can wait on pins and needles, just THINKING about how
COOL they must be, or else check back in in, oh, say, a year or so.
Sometimes it's just not funny, not even to us.
It's REAL SIMPLE. If you run into somebody who says they're "Bob,"
KILL 'EM. If it really WAS "Bob," he'll bounce right back to life,
and everything's FINE. You'll get a special prize for another confirmed
Dobbs Sighting and Confirmation. If it's just another psuedo-psycho "ImaBob"
pretender, he'll STAY DEAD, and that's even better.
WE PEE. Interested?
The House of PAIN
FLAMING, GOSSIP, EVIL RUMORS We SubGeniuses have a special
kind of LOVE. We want to share our SPECIAL LOVE with ALL THE WORLD. But
of all the many cults, isms, groups and species we LOVE so, we love EACH
OTHER the MOST. Join us in this veritable orgy of good feelings and well-wishings.
((NOTE: This is one of the DEEPEST sections of the SUBsite. Wear your headlamp
helmet, rubber boots and spelunking gear.))