My Condition's Condition by Rev. Stang

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 14, 2002 1:03 PM

The tough thing about editing X-Day Drill memories and media is that
the feedback doesn't stop -- no cut-off point. It dwindles away. But
just when you think the bulk of the pictures, for instance, have been
posted, another flood whumps into existence.

Today I am going to CULL the 1500 or more photos we have collected.
Maybe I can get them down to 400 killer shots or essential portraits.
After that I can HTMLerize them and get them onto SubSITE. Also I'll
upload the IRC logs which I have edited, and the a.s. reports that
Gilligan -- I mean, Two Beans -- is theoretically editing, if that
scrapilous scurfawag hasn't simply passed out from Slack abuse.

But I have houseguests tonight and all tomorrow, which will throw off
my PRECIOUS GEEKING SCHEDULE!!

WHY I am doing all this is anybody's guess.

One oddity we did come across was the last known photo of "Bob" before
he disappeared -- slumping in a chair in Ed Strange's camp. He spent
this X-day, like most, in a complete stupor, blind to the world; in
fact there was a hunting arrow protruding from his forehead, shot I
think by Chas, for most of the Drill.

But someone took him late Sunday. That, or he just upped and left. I am
curious to hear what happened to him. We had planned to hoist him way
up into a tree over Tranquility Base and leave him hanging there
through Starwood, the winter and into next year, occasionally shooting
digital shots of him from a certain vantage point so that later the
pictures could be turned into a time lapse movie.

I have meanwhile been DUBBING my mini-DV videotapes to VHS but not
looking closely at them. I'm gonna just send the VHSes to Sinphaltimus
as soon as I make sure there's nothing TOO embarrassing on there.

People who view my shooting may think I am insane because it alternates
between way tilted, shaky crap and these nice carefully framed moments.
Actually it's because I'm an editor by trade and I am already editing
while I shoot. The shaky stuff is where you cut away or where the
insert shots go. Or where you just use the sound. I often use a video
camera as a sound recorder so all you see are feet or chins.

I spent ALL WEEK on the IRC chat chanel #subgenius on fef.net. I wasn't
always "on" but I recorded everything. It took a DAY just to read and
edit the first 3 days of it. All I'm removing really are the occasional
slanderous evil gossip and the periods where it's just geek-talk about
technical stuff.

Reading IRC logs is a PAIN unless you're used to it. If you do IRC a
lot and ARE used to it, these are a great read... the excitement of the
event and the spewage of creativity that it provokes are most evident.

Then there's Post Drill Depression Syndrome. I finally got it
yesterday. Most people got it their first day back at work. But
yesterday was my first day of work that didn't involve feedback from
the event, but instead bills and my fucked up email and so on. I was
finally hit by the fact that one wants so badly to deny, that not only
did the Escape vessels not show, but that you can't even stay lounging
around at Brushwood but must return to your tedious mundane life of
plainness and gray regularity.

I got all hissy, pissy, prissy and Nissy, but then I got my fix (an
omelet) and calmed down.

Wei and I attempted to view all the pictures last night and got about a
third of the way through, after 90 minutes or so. Then we turned on Mad
TV just in time to see Debra Wilson show her titties. They were
pixelized but DAMN! I ain't complaining. My wife and I both have
speculated endlessly on the possible qualities of the titties of the
Mad TV actresses. Otherwise the episode wasn't one of their best. (Mad
TV is the only thing we watch with any regularity besides the Sunday
Night Fox cartoons.)

The sci fi book RING by Stephen Baxter is just completely fucking out
of control. I can tell you that much.

Okay okay I'm just putting off the CULLING. It hurts to push "DELETE".
I keep an UNCUT copy of everything, of course, but SubSITE COSTS us per
bandwidth bucket, and adding a ton of stuff and having a ton of people
look at it ONLY COSTS, it does not add to our income.

So I am gonna put an ad on every page of the picture section, for our
GREAT new CDs and videos -- and they really ARE great.

Actually I guess I better put the 5 new products into the catalog
before I do that. SEE?!? MUNDANE LIFE AGAIN INTERFERING with ESCAPIST
FANTASY-LAND SLACK.

There's probably somebody somewhere who would love to do nothing MORE
than write SubGenius ad copy for new products that we crank out and
fancy up those ad web pages. I used to love it... IN 1980!!! Anything
gets old after awhile. Except wanking.

Rev. Stang, newly saved Wanker for "Bob"

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From: Priestess Pisces <Priestesspisces@hotmale.com>

PRAISE DOBBS ANOTHER CONVERT!

i just get all wet thinking of how many converts may have been saved this
year.. and next year... oooo... i am gonna need new batterys!

Priestess Pisces

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From: "Asquire" <asquire1313@hotmail.com>

you can use mine Pisces

Asquire

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From: Priestess Pisces <priestesspisces@xhotmail.xcom>

see! a true gentleman!

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@mindspring.com>

"Rev.Geo" <geovoice@earthlink.net> hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev.Geo" <geovoice@earthlink.net> laughed madly,
then wrote:

>Hokay, I'll admit it, I'm a convert too, except...
>I LIKE WANKIN' FEMMFOLK, TOO!!
>
>Heh-heh-heh,
>Rev.Geo
>Uberwanker:))
>

Dang.

Half this group is now having group wank fantasies.

I propose we try to get the curch of the subgenius into the guiness
book with the WORLD'S LARGEST CERTIFIED SYNCHRONIZED GROUP
MASTURBATION EVENT EVER SEEN ON THIS PLANET.

THAT will by DOBBS make the xists sit up and take notice at last.

They will SMELL US FROM PLUTO.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Ya know, Jesus wouldn't be so popular if he wasn't all sweaty and naked on the cross

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From: "Asquire" <asquire1313@hotmail.com>

How uncanny it is that you mention that, for im sure Rev Pisces, Cozmodiar,
Lon and I were talking about sync-jacking all at the same time at XDV

Asquire

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Original file name: My Condition's Condition - converted on Tuesday, 16 July 2002, 14:21