The Bobbie Awards 2002

THE BOBBIE AWARDS, 2002

Post-Ceremonial Awards:

BEST DANCER: BANJO BOB

BEST OFFSTAGE ANTICS: EL GORDO tie with REV. SUSIE THE FLOOZY

BEST INTERPRETIVE MODERN DANCE: REV. ZORRO

BEST CHEF: DR. K'TADEN LEGUME

WORST INFLUENCE: DR. K'TADEN LEGUME

BEST ON-PLANET ESCAPE VESSEL: The Barneys

Infra-Ceremonial Awards:

Best Clench: Quijibo

Best Hour of Slack contribution: Rev. Prostata Contata / Sensory
Research

New Preacher of the Year: Rev. Pisces

Best Contribution to SubSITE: St. David Bachner

Best a.b.s Artist: Heart Ignition

Best musician/antimusician: The El Queso All-Stars

Best Church architecture: Dances With Rockets

Best alt.slack writer: Nu-Monet

Best False Prophet Unmasking: Rev. Blackout / Dyskolos / Popess Lilith

Best New Bass Player: "Prof Rock" Chas Smith

Best Spouting: Televangela

Best Cheerleader: Popess Lilith

Best Collages, All Media: Rev. Susie the Floozy

Best Headstripper / Manager of Production: Rev. Mary Magdalen

Stark Fist Printing: NHGH

Most Mysterious: El Gordo

Oldest: Dr. Pissoff

Most Irrascible: iDRMRSR

Best Frop: Rev. Sifu

Best Propaganda Disbursement: Rev. Steve Cynic

Biggest Recent Equipment Donation: St. Marc the Perpetually Amused /
Rev. Greg Kucharo

Best Super-Powers: Rev. Nickie Deathchick, for the CONCEPT of the
Super Hero Ball

Best Super Hero(Fair Nonsexist Version): Bachelors for "Bob"

OverMan of the Year: St. Marc the Perpetually Amused

Weirdest: Televangela

Best Connietite: The Rabbi

Best Male Stripper: Rev. Two Beans

Best Drive-In: Dr. Dark

Just for the hell of it I have started a list of SubGenius ministers
who have attended every single X-Day Drill since 1996. Here's the
current list:

Here are those faithful and brilliant enough to be there at the
pavillion at Brushwood EVERY SINGLE 7:00 A.M. of all seven Drills:

SPECIAL AWARD FOR BEST X-DAY ENGENEERING, 1998 through 2000: REV. ED
STRANGE (for the Missile of '96, the Cross of '97, the Pulpit of '98,
the Cannons of '99, and the Pipe organ of 2000)

Best STARK FIST OF REMOVAL Editorship:
'99: J.C. "Steve" Bevilacqua aka Jesus
2000: Rev. Craig Mitchell

Best HOUR OF SLACK Radio contributions:
'98: Rev. Ivan Stang
'99: Rev. Susie the Floozy
'00: ESO Radio

Best X-DAY DRILL StageMaestroing:
'98: King of Slack Bill T. Miller
'99: Popess Lilith Von Fraumench
'00: Modemac

PREACHER OF THE YEAR:
'98: Dr. K'taden Legume
'99: Papa Joe Mama
'00: Rev. Crawford Smith

Biggest contribution to SubSITE:
'98: Rev. ID
'99: Atom Funway
'00: IrRev. Friday Jones

Best ZINE:
'98: So What (Groovy G)
'99: There He Is (Crawford Smith)
'00: Quijibo (Chris Lee)

MUSICIAN:
'98: Bill T. Miller, Kings of Feedback
'99: Duke of Uke
'00: Einstein's Secret Orchestra/Chas Smith/ Lonesome Cowboy Dave

CONNIEITE of the CENTURY:
1900 to 1999: Rev. Susie the Floozy
2000 -- : Sister Decadence

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:090720021334199105%stang@subgenius.com...
> THE BOBBIE AWARDS, 2002
...

That young Pink who caused my Slack-decay must now surely perish, and I *do*
mean soon.

On Tue, 09 Jul 2002 17:33:49 GMT, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

-------------------
New Quijibo Out NOW!
#23 and The Other #23
http://www.quijibocartel.com

weirdest? i didn't get a ribbon for that. and i didn't even hear it. and i
didn't know i was weird.
-TV

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<090720021334199105%stang@subgenius.com>...

>
> When they do the Roll Call up yonder, will ye be there?
>
I beg your pardon, sir, I've faithfully been there at 7 AM every year
as YOUR TAPES will prove!!

In article <56be7db3.0207100506.58fb8605@posting.google.com>,
DoktorDark <drdark@37.com> wrote:

> I beg your pardon, sir, I've faithfully been there at 7 AM every year
> as YOUR TAPES will prove!!

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
madly, then wrote:

>
>You're ADMITTING to this???
>
>Well.... oKAAAAYYyyy.......
>
>Didn't think it was something to BRAG about....

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Getting in Touch with the Universe: Sell Your Worldly Possessions
and Lead a Life of Austerity in the Woods, or Just Smoke a Doobie?
- Philosophy for Dummies, Chapter 13

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

In article <3d2c96c9.9834870@news.cis.dfn.de>, Joe Cosby
<joecosby@mindspring.com> wrote:

>
> On the other hand, maybe ONE OF YOU on that list is what's SCARING
> THEM OFF.

I'll volunteer to stay in bed next X-Day so we can determine which of
the four is contaminating the vibe. Probably me... that would JUST
FIGURE.

Dr. Dark's presence in that list totally throws off a theory I had
developed concerning Susie, me and Pastor Craig being two sets each of
conflicting sets of opposites, making 6 types of conflicting oposites,
affecting three of us which would make it 666 if you were one of those
numerological ninnies that's reading this right now. It was a diagram
roughly akin to the WARD-BEAVER-WALLY triumverate.

It made sense last night but that I try to describe the details now it
seems pretty stupid and forced. Besides, now that Dr. Dark is involved,
it becomes more of a KIRK-SPOCK-BONES-SCOTTY set of correspondences.
That's too complicated for me.

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
madly, then wrote:

>
>I was quoting that "Where have all the SubGeniuses Gone" bit all
>weekend, to people who had gotten there early and so would not have
>seen Joe's post and so thought that I had come up with something so
>funny. I got, like, 3 blowjobs just for Joe's joke.
>

Well you know how it goes, a TRUE friend gets three blowjobs then
gives you two of them.

You would have to shave first though. Preferably your whole body. In
fact keep the blowjobs and just do it anyway for the heck of it.

It would be a BOLD NEW LOOK for you and then Legume might like you
more too. And it would scare the shit out of your kids, which is
always a good thing.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"I used to not like my mole. But I think once
I lived with it and accepted it, I think that
helped me accept myself."
-- Cindy Crawford

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/