Subject: My XDay 6 Rant - Bobbies vs. Bobbies

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.binaries.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 9, 2003 4:48 PM
Message-ID: <Lc%Oa.19498$>

Bobbies vs. Bobbies

By Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortus
X-Day 6 Rant

In the beginning there was slack, and it was good.
In the end there too will be slack, and it will be good.
But in the mean-time, there are only Bobbies, and this is bad.
There are Bobbies to my left, and Bobbies to my right.
Bobbies vs. Bobbies, yet they refuse to fight.
I am too a Bobbie, yet unlike some of you.
I walk the walk, I talk the talk, and speak only what is true.
To put my faith in Bob and everything he said.
To come here every year and pull the wool over my own head.
It's a blessing that I live, beyond the dual-colored head.
It's a secret that I'll carry, until the day I'm dead.
To read between the lies, and go beyond the joke.
There is a real meaning clouded by the piper's smoke.
The eyes that I can see & the smile that he bares.
Hides the truth that you seek, rising up, through the air.
So stop your silly non-sense, give up your Bobbie role.
Stop denying the true Dobbshead, and someday you may know.
To deny yourself a Bobbie, or Bobbie to become.
It's just Bobbies vs. Bobbies where the Bobbies have already won.
It's exactly what they want, it's precisely what they said.
The one true church has gone away and left us all for dead.
The X-ist will not come because they already came.
We are all the sloppy seconds in their mindless little game.
You'll get up on that morning, July 5th at 7am.
And witness the non-coming of those you call your friends.
As for me and my church, I know what we'll do.
We'll sleep late and we'll feel great, ecstatic with the truth.
The truth about our brethren and total lack of faith.
The fact that there's so few of us that our slack is what's at stake.
So remember come tomorrow and the day after that.
Give up and stop thinking, it's the only path to slack.
Call yourself a Bobbie, deep down you know it's true.
And if not, then you don't belong, it's pink that we call you.
I'm not hear for attention, not here to entertain.
Not here with wife or family, but right here it's all the same.
To be with my sisters and brothers, in orgasmic incestual glee.
To celebrate the world's destruction, to finally be free.
Free from all the bullshit and their stinking fucking lies.
Free from the conspiracy and all those George Bush Guys.
Free to find salvation, and free to fly away.
On a real ET space station that will arrive here any day.
To be my true self and not what they made me.
To be a true yeti, the quintessential Bobbie.
So, Fuck you if you don't like it.
Fuck you if you don't care.
Fuck you if you if you can't take a joke.
Let Bob fuck you if you dare.
Cause I don't mind the drills, I'm just here for the slack.
And when the X-ist don't show up you know next year, I'll be back.
I'm almost done, finished with this speech.
But the war has just begun, I won't accept defeat.
Bobbies vs. Bobbies, which side will you choose?
Bobbies vs. Bobbies where the Bobbies never lose.


Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
or email
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.

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