Welcom New Cl0nes!

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jul 7, 2003 8:17 PM

Undoubtedly the question going through your febrile
minds right now is: "How can I get out of this
chickenshit detail?"

Sorry, male and female varieties, still slightly
radioactive enough to be warm to the touch, but not
so emittive as to be destroying the computer monitor
you are now using to read this post. You are stuck here
for a year. AT WHICH POINT you will either disintigrate
of your own accord or will be left on the smoldering
ruins of this lump of mud and poo known as "nu-Earth6"
as *it* disintigrates, just as your predecessor cl0nes
were left to be retired horribly on nu-Earth5.

So, enjoy yourself a happy little year.

Other than that, you should have a fully operational
set of implanted brain memories from either your
SubGenii original, or the Cl0ne replacement that you
in turn are superceding. That is, unless there was
yet again Z-ist interference which precludes you from
fully remembering your painful origins in the sludge
vats, your painful education, your painful departure,
your painful arrival, and your seemingly endless
painful experiences in the short time since. A mixed
blessing, as it were. And you should also have exact
copies of all their "stuff", to do with as you please,
unless it has already been looted.

However, though only a few of you were slaughtered this
year at Brushwood by enraged Yetisyny "Remainers", once
again upset at not having made the cut, there have been
reports of some Cl0ne killing sprees, either against
each other or against the innumerable other targets in
this target rich environment, such as: androids,
mandroids, replicants, replicoids, simulcrums, robotoids,
and the always available zooids; put here solely to help
the "Remainers" perfect themselves in the fires of
Slacklessness, including Cl0nes, which means YOU, I might

You should refrain from doing this in the future,
as the nu-Earth6 system is now equipped with LD-model
androids that will deactivate you if you make too much
a fuss.

Last but not least, the "News Events of a Random Nature"
that are scheduled to occur this year include several
interesting wars, weather phenomena and political
bulldada. They were generated and are being directed by
the original Pope Sternodox, who guarantees a most lively
and dramatic production for our edification.

So remember the Cl0ne credo: "Nothing good that happens
is being done for OUR benefit. We're screwed."

I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.


Subject: Re: Welcom New Cl0nes!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

Another question that SHOULD be going through your mind is, "What am I
supposed to be carrying around?" This will no doubt seem unnatural
after the carefree life of the vats, but on this planet of the clocks
you are required to carry something with you whenever you leave your
home. Somewhere in your home or pockets your Original should have left
you either a wallet or a purse containing identification cards, credit
tubes, and pieces of paper with dead presidents on them. You must take
these things with you whenever you go away from home! Carry them with
you the entire time! Do not set them down and walk away -- there are
humans about who have lost THEIRS and will try to take yours so that
they may rejoin mainstream society.

They are mean because they are rejects from society.

--Bill Palmer on SubGenii

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