I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
against Bob Dobbs. Not Stang, that pathetic puppet, or should I say meat
puppet, who was duped as deeply as the rest of us by the naughty Bob, but
against Bob himself, bringer of the lie. It is against the law to commit
fraud and he gurantees "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back!"
Let's see Bob try to keep that smug, pipe-infested grin on his face while
he's trying to defend his financial empire against the hundreds of millions
of disillusioned followers demanding TRIPLE their money back.
If you are interested in getting TRIPLE your money back, please send me $5.
for a legal packet and instructions on how to sign up to be a part of the
action.
Or you can just e-mail me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: TheCharlie <charliec@cybernex.net>
s_kenner@hotmail.com wrote:
>
> I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
> against Bob Dobbs. Not Stang, that pathetic puppet, or should I say meat
> puppet, who was duped as deeply as the rest of us by the naughty Bob, but
> against Bob himself, bringer of the lie. It is against the law to commit
> fraud and he gurantees "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back!"
And he still does. Do you have any proof that this is fraud?
> Let's see Bob try to keep that smug, pipe-infested grin on his face while
> he's trying to defend his financial empire against the hundreds of millions
> of disillusioned followers demanding TRIPLE their money back.
Why would they demand their money back? Nobody promised them
"A ride on the suacers at 7AM July 5, 1998 or triple your
money back" .. it says "Eternal Salvation" or triple your
money back.
In order to successfully win your class action suit, you have
to go talk to some dead people who's souls didn't get saved,
get them to file suit, get them to go to court, get them to prove
that they're dead (easy one) get them to prove that their souls
were not saved, get them to prove that they were paid up SubG's
and then get the jury to buy it. THEN they'll get triple their
money back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <s_kenner@hotmail.com>
Since you are obviously part of the fraud, I have advised the legal team to
name you chief co-conspirator. This seemed to give them a renewed sense of
purpose since Mr. Dobbs appears to have gone into hiding.
Don't worry too much, though. Prison is really like a big devival except
without the drugs, music and beer. There is plenty of fornication, though
not with women. I'm sure you will get used to your new lifestyle in ten to
twenty years. No hard feelings, eh Chuck?
TheCharlie wrote in message <35A043C0.3225@cybernex.net>...
>s_kenner@hotmail.com wrote:
>>
>> I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
>> against Bob Dobbs. Not Stang, that pathetic puppet, or should I say meat
>> puppet, who was duped as deeply as the rest of us by the naughty Bob, but
>> against Bob himself, bringer of the lie. It is against the law to commit
>> fraud and he gurantees "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back!"
>
>And he still does. Do you have any proof that this is fraud?
>
>> Let's see Bob try to keep that smug, pipe-infested grin on his face while
>> he's trying to defend his financial empire against the hundreds of
millions
>> of disillusioned followers demanding TRIPLE their money back.
>
>Why would they demand their money back? Nobody promised them
>"A ride on the suacers at 7AM July 5, 1998 or triple your
>money back" .. it says "Eternal Salvation" or triple your
>money back.
>
>In order to successfully win your class action suit, you have
>to go talk to some dead people who's souls didn't get saved,
>get them to file suit, get them to go to court, get them to prove
>that they're dead (easy one) get them to prove that their souls
>were not saved, get them to prove that they were paid up SubG's
>and then get the jury to buy it. THEN they'll get triple their
>money back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ttman@tiac.net
Not likely to be succesful. Check out what happened to Bob Larson
(Texan televangilist) and the law suit against him. He promised a
woman that if she gave him some rediculous amount of money, he would
"pray" for her, and that his prayers had the power of fulfillment.
She gave him her money, and her husband died anyway. So, she sued,
claiming that he had failed to live up to a contractual agreement.
She lost.
Believe it or not, the courts consider this a matter of Church vs.
State, and do not wany anything to do with it. Both the Texas Supreme
Court and the Federal Courts determined that the they do not have the
right to interfere with religious "actions." Further, regardless of
whether or not Larson's prayer's were fulfilled or not, the court
cannot determine if Larson has the power or not. As far as the courts
were concerned, he fulfilled his contractual obligation which was to
pray for the woman's husband.. The courts will not take it upon
themselves to determine if someone has "power" or not.
So, in my opinion, Stang, Dobbs, and the rest of the COSG are safe.
After all, they never said they were going to MAKE the saucers come;
they only PREDICTED they would come. Besides that, they have readily
admitted from the start that they were joking.
Basically, the way some people see it, is that sending in your $30 was
simply to keep the joke going...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh D. Lynch)
Thus spake <s_kenner@hotmail.com>:
>Since you are obviously part of the fraud, I have advised the legal team to
>name you chief co-conspirator. This seemed to give them a renewed sense of
>purpose since Mr. Dobbs appears to have gone into hiding.
>Don't worry too much, though. Prison is really like a big devival except
>without the drugs, music and beer. There is plenty of fornication, though
>not with women. I'm sure you will get used to your new lifestyle in ten to
>twenty years. No hard feelings, eh Chuck?
Who the fuck are you? Charlie's right. No jury in the world would convict
Dobbs or anyone who says what Dobbs said.
--
"Wir feiern einen Party und du bist nicht dabei"
- Herbert Groenemeyer | remove whats to email
JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zach Garland <zach@cyberramp.net>
There's a hole in your theory.
Nowhere in the Church's dogma does it say X-Day is the day of Eternal
Salvation.
There's not a lawyer on this planet that would touch this. Too many loopholes.
s_kenner@hotmail.com wrote:
> I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
> against Bob Dobbs.
--
Zach
http://www.cyberramp.net/~zach
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Unit4@Sputum.Com (Doktor DynaSoar)
In alt.slack <s_kenner@hotmail.com> wrote:
^I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
^against Bob Dobbs.
Sure. He's in Canada. Uses the email address purple@ingress.com.
Sign me up.
--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Peter Hipwell <petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: CLASS-ACTION LAWSUIT against the LEADER of SUBGENIUS
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 11:46:18 +0100
Zach Garland wrote:
>
> There's a hole in your theory.
>
> Nowhere in the Church's dogma does it say X-Day is the day of Eternal
> Salvation.
>
> There's not a lawyer on this planet that would touch this. Too many loopholes.
>
Jesus. I can't believe anyone is actually biting on this.
--
"I want to write about the philosophy of sitting in chairs because I
have a reputation for lolling." -- Lin Yutang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <s_kenner@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 7 Jul 1998 07:32:08 -0500
Jesus, you fucking idiot. No shit the lawsuit wouldn't work. Dobbs is a
made-up character. You are the meat in a moron sandwich. Please entertain
me more with your pretentious talk. You know squat about law and proved it
with your babbling misinterpretation of that case.
ttman@tiac.net wrote in message
>>I thought some of you would like to get in on the class-action lawsuit
>>against Bob Dobbs.
>Not likely to be succesful. Check out what happened to
<moronic babblings cut to save space>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <s_kenner@hotmail.com>
Who the fuck am I? I'm your worst nightmare, foul nubbin.
Dobbs screwed Stang and left him with a sphincter you could drive a truck
into. The rest of the billions of followers hot the same treatment to a
lesser degree. You, Bob, and the others like you will rot in PRISON
FOREVER.
Besides, FUCK YOU if you can't take a joke.
Jahweh D. Lynch wrote in message
>Who the fuck are you? Charlie's right. No jury in the world would convict
>Dobbs or anyone who says what Dobbs said..htm
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <s_kenner@hotmail.com>
Ah, but it's IMPLIED.
How little you know about lawyers. Certainly not a lawyer in the workd
would touch the OJ case, or the Microsoft case... But they did, didn't
they? They will do anything for money. In the end, it's money that decides
the legal issues, not some pie-in-the-sky littlegirl fantasy about
"fairness."
Bob will rot in prison and you will be his pud bucket.
Besides, fuck you if you can't get the joke.
Zach Garland wrote in message
>There's a hole in your theory.
>
>Nowhere in the Church's dogma does it say X-Day is the day of Eternal
>Salvation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: <s_kenner@hotmail.com>
I know! I started the whole lawsuit thing, and I never DREAMED anyone would
take it seriously! I just thought it was a mildly funny idea that some
people might get some amusement out of. But these morons are actually
taking it seriously! I suppose if I tried to sue Santa Clause (sp?) they
would come to his defense.
Peter Hipwell wrote in message <35A1FC7A.6CDD@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>...
>Zach Garland wrote:
>>
>> There's a hole in your theory.
>>
>> Nowhere in the Church's dogma does it say X-Day is the day of Eternal
>> Salvation.
>>
>> There's not a lawyer on this planet that would touch this. Too many
loopholes.
>>
>
>Jesus. I can't believe anyone is actually biting on this.
>
>--
>"I want to write about the philosophy of sitting in chairs because I
>have a reputation for lolling." -- Lin Yutang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HK47@nutcom.net
>If you are interested in getting TRIPLE your money back, please send me $5.
>for a legal packet and instructions on how to sign up to be a part of the
>action.
>
>Or you can just e-mail me.
>
Dear Mr. Kenner:
I represent New "Bob" Publications, Int ("N"B"PI"), the exclusive
licensee of the copyrights to a number of unpublished works which you
have placed on this newsgroup, without the authorization of my client.
This work can be found under the following Message IDs:
6npep8$mmh$1@news3.mr.net6npep8$mmh$1@news3.mr.net,
6nt55f$r0j$1@news3.mr.net, 6nt5dp$rhh$1@news3.mr.net
and many others.
By placing my client's copyrighted work on Usenet, you are
committing copyright infringement in violation of copyright law of the
United States and any other place we can bribe the judicial system.
Because this document is on your site, it is copyright infringement
for which you can be held liable and be pelted with lemur shit. We
therefore request that it be removed immediately or face the wrath of a
fully aroused lemur.
I have attempted to contact a Mr. Newsguy about this matter, but he
ignores my communications to him. I have also attempted to contact a
Mr. Mr at mr.net, who is your provider and through whom you appear
to also have access to the Internet, but he also continues to ignore
my communications.
We are currently involved in litigation and shit throwing over
similar materials in several lawsuits. Preliminary injunctions based on
copyright infringement are in place in two of those suits in favor of
N"B"PI in the United States Defect Court in San Jose n de Pussycats,
California, and a judgment of copyright infringement and a permanent
injunction have been entered in another suit in that Court.
Additionally, a United States District Court in the state of Vagina has
granted judgment for damages, costs of flinging lemur shit, and a
permanent injunction in favor of N"B"PI, related to copyright
infringement
of similar works.
The court in Holland has recognized that similar materials are
crap^n^n^nopyrighted, and the defendants in the Dutchoven case removed
their postings of the copyrighted materials in that case. Moreover, in
Sweden (bork, bork, bork), N"B"PI sued an individual for infringement
of
similar materials which he had placed upon the Internet and in that
case, the court issued an injunction prohibiting him from engaging in
such illegal activities (although the pictures of the underage
lemurs were kept for "research" purposes only, you understand).
The courts in California and Holland have both ruled that an access
provider that has been put on notice that infringement is occurring
through its system, and yet does nothing to stop it, can be liable for
contributory infringement and become a target for aroused lemurs.
We are not seeking to become involved in litigation or shit
throwing, but we will take all necessary measures to protect my client's
intellectual property rights. We presume that you would agree that we
can resolve this amicably.
Please confirm that you have removed the copyrighted material as
requested above.
Sincerely,
Helemur Kobra
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Peter Hipwell <petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>
Zach Garland wrote:
>
> Ho hum... it's so good to be back. la la la ..
>
> Peter Hipwell wrote:
>
> > 1) It was fucking OBVIOUSLY a joke:
>
> Considering how dupes and normals love to sue one another for lookin'
> at each other funny, your above statement is erroneous. Of course it's
> obviously a joke. The court system in America is a joke. So don't put
> your capslock in my face and think it means shit to me, cuz it don't.
>
> So sue me.
>
Considering this is alt.slack, you'd think people would stop and look
at things for 5 seconds before getting trolled into the ground.
Considering this is alt.slack, you'd think people would have the ability
to laugh at themselves when they've ended up looking like a 'nana,
rather than defending their dumbshittedness.
But no.
> Nobody wins flamewars. Or didn't they teach you that in kindegarten?
Ah, the kindegarten insult, must be highly advanced bwana.
H: "What are those jungle drums saying?"
A: "They're saying... BOOM BANG BOOM BOOM BANG".
H: "What does that mean?"
A: "I don't know."
H: "Idiot."
> > Shut up whining that you didn't get it, now, please.
>
> Why the hell else do people come into alt.slack anymore if not to
> whine? That's all I've ever seen in here when I deem to grace you
> poebuckers with my presence for the last two years.
They come to write crap.
--
"I want to write about the philosophy of sitting in chairs because I
have a reputation for lolling." -- Lin Yutang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: TheCharlie <charliec@cybernex.net>
Pee Kitty wrote:
>
> Jeeeeez!
>
> Okay, people, I can't take this anymore.
>
> s_kenner is JOKING AROUND. You see, if he were SERIOUS about being upset
> and wanting his money back, he'd be mad at Stang or the SGF or something.
> Instead, do you see how he makes it clear that he doesn't blame them, but
> blames "Bob"? And wants to sue "Bob"...who (as far as the government
> knows) is fictional?
>
> It's like, you know, when you make up a story about how you met "Bob" and
> killed him? Or something similar? You know?
>
And if we were serious about responding to him, we would have
responded in person. We weren't, we didn't. He's still here,
so that's proof. He played out his line, we yanked it a bit.
Nobody was hurt.
..yet..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jheikkil@highlander.cbnet.ns.ca (saint bubba of the avocados)
On Thu, 9 Jul 1998 19:18:35 -0500, <s_kenner@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>Thank you, Pee Kitty. I was practically on my knees sobbing with
>desperation at the
>thickheadedness of the masses. Oh, there were quite a few who instantly
>recognized the joke, but it seems the majority wanted to jump all over my
>ass about why a lawsuit wouldn't work, etc. I figured that asking people to
>send me money to join the lawsuit and then NOT giving an address would be a
>glaring enough clue even for those who don't know that Bob (officially)
>doesn't exist. How could so many people not see the joke? It's just
>insanity. It's just humanity.
i bow down in reverence to your much stronger and subtler trolling
technique sir. i admit i was without caffienne and nicotine and was
caught off guard and in a sillymood. i guess i was just waiting for
someone to start in about the whole triple your money back thing. i
went onto irc on the 5th and already some idiots were whining and
griping about it all...it got me set off...and then to find your post,
and only sort of half reading it...well fuck..does anyone know of a
somewhat painless way to extract rev. kenner's hook from my bottom
lip, because its making the saliva flow rather copiously and dammit,
its making my joints soggy and hard to light....
st bubba
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