SAMOAN DEVIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
[A Whole Buncha Shit You Cain't See]
SAMOAN DEVIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
[A Whole Buncha Shit You Cain't See]

From: samoanguy@aol.com (SamoanGuy)
Date: 14 Nov 1997

Yeti children of ''Bob'' all will gather together for the first ever Giant SubGenius Festival of Cosmic Madness to celebrate the ARRIVAL OF THE FINAL YEAR 1998!! There will be FREE FOOD AND LODGING for all attendees! There will be swarms of NAKED SUNTANNED VIRGINS with the LOWEST standards who will drool on your genitals with delight! FREE OPEN BAR 'ROUND THE CLOCK !!

GUESTS INCLUDE:

REV. IVAN STANG
PHILO DRUMMOND
DRS. 4 "BOB''
FRIDAY JONES AND HER MEAT FLUTE ORCHESTRA
SUSIE THE FLOOZIE
TIMOTHY LEARY'S HEAD SEWN ONTO ANTON LA VEY'S BODY
PAMELA ANDERSON LEE
ICEKNIFE'S "SPECTACLE OF AMBIDEXTROUS MASTURBATION''
DR. KTARDED LEGUME
THE MONKEES
FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD
MEL TORM'E
AL SHARPTON
FORMER PRESIDENTS GEORGE BUSH & JIMMY CARTER
PHYLLIS DILLER
SPIDERMAN
JESUS CHRIST
JAN-MICHAEL VINCENT
WILLIAM SHATNER
PEEWEE HERMAN
POPE JOHN PAUL II
HIS WIFE RU
JAMES EARL JONES
KATHY LEE GIFFORD
RAGIN' POPE ANGUS
THE SURFARIS
ANNE RICE
OINGO BOINGO
DAVID DUKE
ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER
THE CAST OF MELROSE PLACE
HENRY LEE LUCAS AND OTIS TOOLE
plus many others soon to be announced!

When: January 1st thru 5th
Where: Beautiful Samoa

With a guest list that spectacular, an incredible time is guaranteed for all!!! There will be wild parties, orgies, floating crap games, manly sporting contests (penis-swordfights), all-day and night drinking, A 24 HOUR FREE DRUG BUFFET, and more! Get fucked up and swim in the beautiful blue waters of the lagoon and enjoy all of the luxury and beauty or tropical paradise offers.Imagine if you can FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS OF TOTAL DEBAUCHERY. Drinking, partying, fucking, sucking, drinking more, cramming drugs into your every orifice.

Then, to top off all of this incredible merriment, at the end of the
five days I and my tribe of bigass mean Samoan ass kickers will stomp you into
snot. Then we'll snarfle you up into our noses with bamboo tubes and hawrk
your Snot-remains into the volcano. Then we'll dance aroung in loincloths
laughing and wearing your womens' severed titties on our heads like Samoan
Yarmulkes. Afterward we bill belly-board down the mountain on your cheap-ass luggage and ridicule your ugly parents.

All Praise Mo-la-ka-ona-boola-mahi-tung (the god who tastes things)

All Praise moo-la-monna-da-in-a-gadda-da-vida (the god who reaches from the sea to fuck up flying saucers and drag them to the bottom of the sea)

SAMOAN POWER!!! SAMOAN POWER!!! WAKE UP SAMOAN PEOPLE!!!
THE SUBGENIUS IS USING THE NAZI AS MUSCLE AGAINST YOU!!!
STOMP OUT SEXLESS GEEKS AND MEAN PRICK REDNEX!!!
THE DAY OF THE TIT-YARMULKE IS COMING!!! STRIKE NOW AND KILL, SAMOANS!!!

Moka-fu-lan-cho-pa-tah-sun-o-co-yo-ma (Samoan Guy who posts to Usenet)

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From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Smooth finish, but the boquet is rather rough on the nose. Best drank in one
huge gulp, with a casual wipe of the mouth, a loud belch, and a toss of the
glass over the shoulder into the face of the guy who served it.

The "Timothy Leary's Head sewn onto Anton LaVey's Body" line was a nice touch,
by the way.

P-Lil

--
| Popess Lilith von Fraumench | Fools' Press |
| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Sadomasticist At Large | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
|"Spiting the Gods since 1989"| mitchell@interserv.com |
| http://home.sprynet.com/interserv/mitchell |

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@thepoint.net (Dave Lynch)

Now THIS is the kind of post we should see more of. You listening,
"hagbard"?

--
This message was posted through a fly's ear, and you have to have
a fly's eye to see it! * SUPPORT SEMANTIC TERRORISM * NOT FUCKABLE
"There are other worlds they have not told you of"- Sun Ra|DAVE #1

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SubGeniusDallas@hotmail.com (Ragin' Pope Angus)

In article <19971114141501.JAA15109@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
samoanguy@aol.com says...
> Yeti children of ''Bob'' all will gather together for the first ever Giant
> SubGenius Festival of Cosmic Madness to celebrate the ARRIVAL OF THE FINAL
> YEAR 1998!! There will be FREE FOOD AND LODGING for all attendees! There
> will be swarms of NAKED SUNTANNED VIRGINS with the LOWEST standards who will

Try and offer us something that we DON'T already have here in Texas.

> When: January 1st thru 5th

Nope . . . not gonna happen. We've got a date in AUSTIN, TX, already.
Now, if you were offering to fly all of us AND the attendees of the
Austin Show to Samoa, they I think we may be able to come to some
arrangement. Just don't try any of those stoopid CONspiracy tricks about
trying to kill us, we're probably better armed that anyone else on the
island. So keep that conch-shell humping mentality in check and we'll
all get along just fine.

By the way, has 'Bob' seen YOUR $30.00? Until then, Rev. Paco and Mighty
Fringeware has got you beat.
--
Ragin' Pope Angus
Our Lady of the Blessed Apocolypse
Research Institute of SexHurt

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mtownOsPAMend@earthlink.net (Michael Townsend)

And you call this a DEVIVAL? Jeez, what a buncha Normals.

--
mtownsend@earthlink.net po box 4722 portland me 04112-4722
"I don't blame them for being Christians...
but I do blame them for not admitting it!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: samoan7579@aol.com (Samoan7579)

In his typically Anti-Samoan racist post, ignorant honky bastard Pope Angus
gibbered:

<Try and offer us something that we DON'T already have here in Texas.>

I am offering you a brutal death at Samoan hands in a lovely island paradise.
Fuck you and your polluted Texas cesspool.

<Now, if you were offering to fly all of us AND the attendees of the
Austin Show to Samoa, they I think we may be able to come to some
arrangement.>

We will send a canoe around to pick you all up with a chauffeur and a case of
Meisterbrau.

<Just don't try to kill us, we're probably better armed that anyone else on the

island.>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you make me laugh.
Mola-copa-nuna-tikki-ra-sa-fa-gu-kon-bola-popo-ti (the god who snatches
weapons from the hands of arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then
slaps them around like two-dollar whores) will snatch the weapons from the
hands of you arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then slap you around
like two-dollar whores. Then me and my tribe of bigass mean Samoan ass kickers
will stomp you into snot. Then we'll snarfle you up into our noses with bamboo
tubes and hawrk your Snot-remains into the volcano. Then we'll dance aroung
in loincloths laughing and wearing your womens' severed titties on our heads
like Samoan Yarmulkes.

<So keep that conch-shell humping mentality in check and we'll all get along
just fine.>

And you will be the first to die at my beefy Samoan hand, Moooki-lo-pataki-ko
(yellow-hair preacher a butt like a conch-shell)

SAMOAN POWER!!! WAKE UP SAMOAN PEOPLE!!! THE POPE IS USING KATHY LEE GIFFORD
AS MUSCLE AGAINST YOU!!! STOMP OUT EVIL PORKCHOPS AND EDUCATIONAL
TELEVISION!!! THE DAY OF THE TIT-YARMULKE IS COMING!!! STRIKE NOW AND KILL,
SAMOANS!!!

Moka-fu-lan-cho-pa-tah-sun-o-co-yo-ma (Samoan Guy who posts to Usenet)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@thepoint.net (Dave Lynch)

On Tue, 18 Nov 1997 06:59:22 -0500, mtownOsPAMend@earthlink.net
(Michael Townsend) wrote:

>
>And you call this a DEVIVAL? Jeez, what a buncha Normals.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Your point.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Kill_Spammers@SubGenius.com (Ragin' Pope Angus)

In article <19971118140301.JAA07016@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
samoan7579@aol.com says...
> I am offering you a brutal death at Samoan hands in a lovely island paradise.
> Fuck you and your polluted Texas cesspool.
Fuck you and we'll float your damn CORPSE down the polluted Rio Grande.

> We will send a canoe around to pick you all up with a chauffeur and a case of
> Meisterbrau.
Meisterbrau . . . you cheap punk. The Nazi's don't even drink that piss.

> {SNIP} Then we'll snarfle you up into our noses with bamboo
> tubes and hawrk your Snot-remains into the volcano. Then we'll dance aroung
> in loincloths laughing and wearing your womens' severed titties on our heads
> like Samoan Yarmulkes.
You really have a problem about fashion and hooters. For instructions on
PROPER hooter handling, call Our Lady of the Blessed Apocolypse and we'll
provide you a video of how it's done.

> Moooki-lo-pataki-ko
> (yellow-hair preacher a butt like a conch-shell)
THAT FUCHIN' DOES IT! ! ! !
I AM PISSED ! ! ! !
I get joked on a regular basis by Rev. Sister 'She who must be obeyed'
about having a small butt. SHE calls it an apple butt. It's MY butt, a
manly butt in it's own right so go look at another man's butt. That
island of yours must hace a limited dating-pool, so go find some jungle
queer and the two of you geet it on.

> SAMOAN POWER!!! WAKE UP SAMOAN PEOPLE!!! THE POPE IS USING KATHY LEE GIFFORD
> AS MUSCLE AGAINST YOU!!! STOMP OUT EVIL PORKCHOPS AND EDUCATIONAL
> TELEVISION!!! THE DAY OF THE TIT-YARMULKE IS COMING!!! STRIKE NOW AND KILL,
> SAMOANS!!!
> Moka-fu-lan-cho-pa-tah-sun-o-co-yo-ma (Samoan Guy who posts to Usenet)

Yeah, yeah. I wonder what the download time is on that rock.
--
Ragin' Pope Angus
Our Lady of the Blessed Apocolypse
Research Institute of SexHurt

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@CHOKE.ON.THIS.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

In article <19971118140301.JAA07016@ladder01.news.aol.com>, samoan7579@aol.com (Samoan7579) wrote:
> Mola-copa-nuna-tikki-ra-sa-fa-gu-kon-bola-popo-ti (the god who snatches
> weapons from the hands of arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then
> slaps them around like two-dollar whores) will snatch the weapons from the
> hands of you arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then slap you around
> like two-dollar whores.

This is *almost* enough to make me convert to Samoanism. Instead, I'll just
make my own business deal with the gods in question. When I show them how
heady a rush they can get snorting up Samoan soul they'll buy like mad.
Already I have a few calls, especially from one
Mo-hama-su-we-son-ri-ba-ka-gam-mon, who claims to be the god who makes sweaty
Samoan guys post really violently funny articles to Usenet, and he says he
wants dibs on you.

Better pray, because business is business.

P-Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@thecia.net (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <19971118140301.JAA07016@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
samoan7579@aol.com (Samoan7579) wrote:

> Then we'll dance aroung
> in loincloths laughing and wearing your womens' severed titties on our heads
> like Samoan Yarmulkes.

In my case, Mr. Samoan Guy, you might want to have three guys wear each of
my titties at once. Unless, of course, all of their heads are as FAT as
yours is.
Or if any of your huts needs a new roof, here it is!
Perhaps you would like a leather canoe?

Now shake that sexy grass-skirt-covered BUTT Samoan boy!

- FJ

--

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: samoan7579@aol.com (Samoan7579)

In his typically Anti-Samoan racist post, ignorant honky bastard Pope Angus
gibbered:

<Try and offer us something that we DON'T already have here in Texas.>

I am offering you a brutal death at Samoan hands in a lovely island paradise.
Fuck you and your polluted Texas cesspool.

<Now, if you were offering to fly all of us AND the attendees of the
Austin Show to Samoa, they I think we may be able to come to some
arrangement.>

We will send a canoe around to pick you all up with a chauffeur and a case of
Meisterbrau.

<Just don't try to kill us, we're probably better armed that anyone else on the

island.>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you make me laugh.
Mola-copa-nuna-tikki-ra-sa-fa-gu-kon-bola-popo-ti (the god who snatches
weapons from the hands of arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then
slaps them around like two-dollar whores) will snatch the weapons from the
hands of you arrogant stupid white-eyes SubGeniuses and then slap you around
like two-dollar whores. Then me and my tribe of bigass mean Samoan ass kickers
will stomp you into snot. Then we'll snarfle you up into our noses with bamboo
tubes and hawrk your Snot-remains into the volcano. Then we'll dance aroung
in loincloths laughing and wearing your womens' severed titties on our heads
like Samoan Yarmulkes.

<So keep that conch-shell humping mentality in check and we'll all get along
just fine.>

And you will be the first to die at my beefy Samoan hand, Moooki-lo-pataki-ko
(yellow-hair preacher a butt like a conch-shell)

SAMOAN POWER!!! WAKE UP SAMOAN PEOPLE!!! THE POPE IS USING KATHY LEE GIFFORD
AS MUSCLE AGAINST YOU!!! STOMP OUT EVIL PORKCHOPS AND EDUCATIONAL
TELEVISION!!! THE DAY OF THE TIT-YARMULKE IS COMING!!! STRIKE NOW AND KILL,
SAMOANS!!!

Moka-fu-lan-cho-pa-tah-sun-o-co-yo-ma (Samoan Guy who posts to Usenet)

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