War with Christians Proposed

From: DrLegume <legume@xsubgenius.com>
Subject: Attention Boston-Area Subs!
Date: Wed, 11 Mar 1998 08:54:37 -0800
Organization: The Hellfire Club

I've contacted several of Boston's Churches and sent them Friday Jones'
press release concerning the upcoming Boston devival.

The one Church we really should concentrate on is "Boston Church of
Christ". This church has been condemned as a "Dangerous Bible Cult" and
its members are said to be especially RABID.

So let's all help Friday Jones piss off these Yahoos. Send them lets
MAIL BOMB them with lots of veiled threats about Brainwashing their
kids, assraping Jesus, etc.

If it pisses them off enough, they may come protest the devival, or
better yet, start a FIGHT.

contact these yahoos at:
http://bostoncoc.org/html/feedback.html

For the rundown on these Nutbags, Do a web search for "Boston Church of
Christ" and you'll find LOTS OF HATE for them.
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: btm@billtmiller.com (KING OF SLACK)

?? So THE PLAN is... Dr. Legume blows into town on his THUNDER HORSE BIKE
with his GIAGANTIC BASEBALL BAT in HAND and PISSES OFF all
the NUTBAG RELIGIOUS GROUPS, so they are out for SUBG BLOOD?????

MEANWHILE, LEGUME exscapes the DAY AFTER THE BOSTON DEVIVAL 98
on APRIL 23 at the MIDDLE EAST in CAMBRIDGE....
(with STANG, MEYER, LEGUME, SLACKBANGERS, DOK BTM, BRO CLEVE,
Rev.DK JONES,FRIDAY and MILLIONS of SubG MUTANTS.)
LEAVING US Boston RESIDENTS to exsist in the BOSTON WAR ZONE for 3 more months.
LEGUME, MY ONLY REQUEST is that IF YOU stir up these NO CHANCE for SALVATION,
NEVER GONNA WHIP OUT ANY CASH AND GIVE IT TO "BOB" LOSERS...that
you DESTROY all of them BEFORE LEAVING BOSTON or at least LOAN ME YER BAT.

I keep thinking I DON'T have ENUF HATE to be a REAL SUBG..please KILL ME.

PraLEGUME...looking foward to havin YOU spew in BOSTON.

SLACK ETC...LUV===> DOK BTM = KING OF SLACK

BTM ORGY <http://billtmiller.com/>
E-Mail <btm@billtmiller.com>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: e/wbear@camelot.con (e/w bear)

I hate to caste a shadow, but this may not be a good idea. If I were a
well bankrolled fundamentalist church and an easy-to-discredit organization
like the CSG attacked me on the Internet, I just might use THE LAW to fight
back. My intent would be merely to intimidate, BUT....what would happen if
the case fell into the hands of some zealous district attorney with an axe
to grind? I'm no lawyer, but the risk to reward ratio here seems pretty
high. Why make a target of yourself?

In a nutshell: When THEY come knocking, THEY are fair game. When YOU go
knocking, YOU are fair game. It's the American way.

On the other hand, if you are just venting... then by all means vent. But
be prepared for what might follow if others take you seriously.

Personally, I think it's more effective to put flowerpots on our heads and
sing funny songs. It's far more insideous in the long run, and much harder
to prosecute.

--------------------------------------
Do as thou Will is but Half of the Law
Love is the Law. Love over Will.
--------------------------------------
A Heretical Bushhead in King Robert's Court: The apostate electro-weak bear

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>

e/w bear wrote:
>
> Personally, I think it's more effective to put flowerpots on our heads and
> sing funny songs. It's far more insideous in the long run, and much harder
> to prosecute.

Oh my, the Christians might get MAD. You oughtta just BURN YOUR FUCKING
CARD if that's your attitude. You should come out of the closet and
admit your ONE OF THEM.

About 15 years ago, a guy named Eddie Gaskill came over my friend Rob's
house looking for me. He was upset because I'd fucked his girlfriend,
and even more upset that I drove around with her handcuffed in my van
letting my friends fuck her too. She was a submissive, and told me it
was the greatest weekend of her life.

Eddie found out, and came after me looking to avenge his honor. I
suppose I should describe Eddie. Eddie was about 5'3, 130lbs. I was
fresh out of Army Boot Camp, 6' 225lbs, and solid muscle.

Well, Eddie showed up at my friend's house, standing on the sidewalk,
yelling for me to come out and fight. I walked out on the porch with an
aluminum baseball bat in my hand. To this day I can remember the
exchange that followed:

Eddie: Oh, BIG MAN, you need a BASEBALL BAT to fight me.

Me: Shit! I brought this out for YOU.

(I threw the bat on the ground at his feet.)

Me: Go 'head. Pick it up.

Eddie looked at me for about 15 long seconds. Then he turned and ran
like hell. When he was about a block away, he turned and yelled at me,
"I'm gonna kick your ass!". Then he ran all the way home.

I never heard from Eddie again.

Until now.

You cowardly little bastard. You're just like a FART. A lot of noise,
a bad smell, but no SHIT. Even the Ivangelicals wouldn't have you. I'd
venture to say the only good thing you'll ever do is inspire my Boston
Sermon. It'll be about your gutlessness. You might as well forget about
Xday, because if you want to get on the saucers, you'll have to get past
ME first.

Pick up that fucking bat and FIGHT.

--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Max Sendq)

Thus spake e/w bear:

>I hate to caste a shadow, but this may not be a good idea. If I were a
>well bankrolled fundamentalist church and an easy-to-discredit organization
>like the CSG attacked me on the Internet, I just might use THE LAW to fight
>back. My intent would be merely to intimidate, BUT....what would happen if
>the case fell into the hands of some zealous district attorney with an axe
>to grind? I'm no lawyer, but the risk to reward ratio here seems pretty
>high. Why make a target of yourself?

PUBLICITY. These are the END TIMES,
dammit.

>Personally, I think it's more effective to put flowerpots on our heads and
>sing funny songs. It's far more insideous in the long run, and much harder
>to prosecute.

They can prosecute you for anything they
damn well please, at any time. Putting
flowerpots on our heads might be FUN,
but let's face it, for fighting the
Conspiracy, it's about as effective as
shoving flowers up guns.

--
I DISCRIMINATE AGAINST NORMALS twgs @thepoint.net KILL UGLY INTERNET
"Sister system, give me my leg back, will you? I've only been given
light-red fennels; hope you'll sob into a sunflower" - Lars Hollmer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

e/wbear@camelot.con (e/w bear) wrote:

: On the other hand, if you are just venting... then by all means vent. But
: be prepared for what might follow if others take you seriously.

Obviously, you are doing it all wrong.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I would say DUH! when you say that, except that you told me
that's rude. So can I just whisper "duh" instead? Really quietly?
Would that be okay?" -Sparky
* alt.foot.fat-free: where you can experience the thrill of da feet

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: e/wbear@camelot.con (e/w bear)

> Eddie looked at me for about 15 long seconds. Then he turned and ran
> like hell. When he was about a block away, he turned and yelled at me,
> "I'm gonna kick your ass!". Then he ran all the way home.
>
> I never heard from Eddie again.
>
> Until now.

>>>---> So Eddie was worth doing time for? Sorry, but I don't play that
game and I sure as hell wouldn't go after you for something as paltry as a
vanfuck. On the other hand, if you really did hurt someone I loved, you'd
never see me coming, so your size would be of no advantage. I'd leave no
trail either. You'd be just one more unsolved mystery.
>
> You cowardly little bastard. You're just like a FART. A lot of noise,
> a bad smell, but no SHIT. Even the Ivangelicals wouldn't have you. I'd
> venture to say the only good thing you'll ever do is inspire my Boston
> Sermon. It'll be about your gutlessness. You might as well forget about
> Xday, because if you want to get on the saucers, you'll have to get past
> ME first.

What makes you think you're getting a seat? Airlines overbook all the
time. Besides I got my own saucer. Built it myself piece by piece over the
last 22 years. It's already flying and I've already BEEN to planet X. and
you know what? It's just as big a turkey farm as this place, which is why
I'm staying behind.
>
> Pick up that fucking bat and FIGHT.
>

>>>---> Why? Because you say so? I pick my own fights. That's what
Eddie forgot, which is why you were able to fuck his girlfriend.

Here's some scripture for you: "Bob doesn't have the answer, and neither
does anyone else". I think that includes all of us, don't you?

The apostate electro-weak bear

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>

e/w bear wrote:
> What makes you think you're getting a seat? Airlines overbook all the
> time. Besides I got my own saucer. Built it myself piece by piece over the
> last 22 years. It's already flying and I've already BEEN to planet X. and
> you know what? It's just as big a turkey farm as this place, which is why
> I'm staying behind.

Here we go again, another dumbass BOBBIE living in his fantasy world,
while the rest of us get our kicks in MEATWORLD.

> Here's some scripture for you: "Bob doesn't have the answer, and neither
> does anyone else". I think that includes all of us, don't you?
>
> The apostate electro-weak bear

Yeah, OK. Fuck you and your scripture, toad. You forget one important
thing, the thing that will ALWAYS divide the MEN from the BOYS. You
QUOTE scripture, I WRITE it.

You got no balls. Go suck Christian cock, pinkboy.

--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

SubGentlemen, please! Can't we save the brawling for inside the Devival,
where the bloodshed and carnage BELONG?

- Friday Jones

--
* T * H * E * X * D * A * Y * F * I * L * E * S *
Final, Final SubGenius Devival & Armageddon Party
April 23rd, 1998 - Middle East Restaurant, Cambridge MA
Stang/Legume/Meyer/B T M KOS/Bro.Duncan/Rev.DK Jones/MORE!
9:30 PM - 1:30 AM, Door Opens at 9, 18+, $10 admission
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones/xdayfiles.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: e/wbear@camelot.con (e/w bear)

In article <350bed8a.2151302@news.newsguy.com>, twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Max
Sendq) wrote:

>
> PUBLICITY. These are the END TIMES,
> dammit.

>>>---> Publicity for who? They'll probably get more than you will, plus
sympathy to boot. Not only that, you'll be handing them positive proof
that they're right since "Satan" would only bother to attack the "True"
church. Left to their own devices they will probably evaporate in a few
years. I visited their site. It's not THAT insideous as cults go, and
their growth over the last 5 years seems about par with The CofSG. The
only material difference is in their finances, which are greater. So
attack them if you will, but be aware that besides the chance of a lawsuit
(however remote), you'll undoubtably harden their resolve, making it all
the more difficult for them to break free.

> They can prosecute you for anything they
> damn well please, at any time. Putting
> flowerpots on our heads might be FUN,
> but let's face it, for fighting the
> Conspiracy, it's about as effective as
> shoving flowers up guns.
>
>>>---> Shoving flowers up guns WAS effective! It was the Subgenius thing
to do! It got worldwide attention, just like that guy stepping in front of
the tank in Tien An Men. That symbolic gesture of defiance in the face of
insurmountable odds is what I personally value most in SubGenius Doctrine
and is exactly what spins the media and garners international notoriety.
Look at GreenPeace: They had guys running around in Toxic Waste barrels
bumping into each other like pinballs while keystone cops tried to arrest
them. Now how are you supposed to arrest a 45 gallon drum? MILLIONS of
people saw that, it got plenty of horselaughs, and it made a few more
people think. THAT was pure DEVO, and I defy anyone to tell me it wasn't
effective.

Going after a minor christian group which is offensive to only a few is a
pretty small fish. It will get you negative local attention and makes it
harder for other sub-groups to operate there in the future. Ask a Bostonian
what it's like... It was real grim there in '76, I doubt it's changed much
since then.

e/w bear - Left Justified Ancient Moo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

>SubGentlemen, please! Can't we save the brawling for inside the Devival,
>where the bloodshed and carnage BELONG?

And where we can at least CHARGE something for it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Not to mention videotaping the battle and selling it afterwards.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: e/wbear@hybernia.ca (e/w bear)

Oh how I wish I could attend... I really do, I'd wear my wig and tri-corner
hat and I'd carry a belaying pin wrapped in a copy of the US Constitution.
I'd rant, I'd roar, I'd scream about four score... and if anyone...if
ANYONE tried to rip that baby from my hands... I don't care WHO they are,
I'd send them to the next world with a mighty crack to the head and a blast
from my trusty musket, for as Bob is my witness, George Washington,
Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and Alexander Hamilton are True
Subgenii, and what better place to make that point than in Boston, where it
ALL BEGAN!!!! I don't have the verve or eloquence of the late Frank Zappa,
but I DO know what he what he valued most, and to me it's still worth
fighting for. Call me pinkboy... ConDupe call me anything you want... it's
water off a ducks back. But if you try to stop me from speaking my mind
freely, then Government, Church, OR Subgenius... I don't care WHO you
are... you are in for a fight.

Thank you.

Don't Tread on Me... OR Anyone Else!!!

Minute-Bear

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

You mean you're whining about the publicity for an event YOU AREN'T EVEN
ATTENDING?!?!?!?!
Pshaw!

- Friday

PS: Instead of screaming about the four score, get four score people to
ATTEND. Make "Bob" smile on you - and more importantly, me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Max Sendq)
Thus spake e/w bear:

>They'll probably get more than you will, plus
>sympathy to boot. Not only that, you'll be handing them positive proof
>that they're right since "Satan" would only bother to attack the "True"
>church.

We're not INTERESTED in dispelling their
delusions. We're interested in
CAPITALIZING on them.

>Left to their own devices they will probably evaporate in a few
>years.

..to be replaced another nearly
identical cult with a different name.

>I visited their site. It's not THAT insideous as cults go, and
>their growth over the last 5 years seems about par with The CofSG.

Wait a second. You judged how
"dangerous" they were from the
propaganda on THEIR SITE? If you were
to judge how dangerous the Church of the
Subgenius is from OUR site alone, we
would be the most dangerous cult on
earth!

>The
>only material difference is in their finances, which are greater. So
>attack them if you will, but be aware that besides the chance of a lawsuit
>(however remote), you'll undoubtably harden their resolve, making it all
>the more difficult for them to break free.

You know, you still haven't said WHAT
they would sue over. Do your fears have
even the SLIGHTEST relation to reality?

>>>>---> Shoving flowers up guns WAS effective! It was the Subgenius thing
>to do! It got worldwide attention, just like that guy stepping in front of
>the tank in Tien An Men. That symbolic gesture of defiance in the face of
>insurmountable odds is what I personally value most in SubGenius Doctrine
>and is exactly what spins the media and garners international notoriety.

Hey, symbolism is great- if you want to
set yourself on fire for some Great
Cause, be my guest! Some of us think
we're of more value alive than dead,
however.

>Going after a minor christian group which is offensive to only a few is a
>pretty small fish. It will get you negative local attention and makes it
>harder for other sub-groups to operate there in the future. Ask a Bostonian
>what it's like... It was real grim there in '76, I doubt it's changed much
>since then.

OK, I'll ask a Bostonian. Modemac,
what's the local buzz on the BCC?

--
I DISCRIMINATE AGAINST NORMALS twgs @thepoint.net KILL UGLY INTERNET
"Sister system, give me my leg back, will you? I've only been given
light-red fennels; hope you'll sob into a sunflower" - Lars Hollmer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: DrLegume <legume@xsubgenius.com>
Xref: spln alt.slack:100739

Bomb these religious nuts with email. Threaten to Brainwash their
kids. Witness to them. Tell them that when we achieve world domination
we'll destroy them like dogs. Tell them you sodomize Jesus. Tell them
about how groovy Satan is.

But most of all, tell them we'll be Preaching in Boston April 23.
http://bostoncoc.org/html/feedback.html
Boston Church of Christ, Rabid-Bible Thumping Cult
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

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