Pee Kitty's X-DAY DRILL Report

Slackful weekend.

I won't bore you with the details of our 2500 mile drive (man, the lengths I'm willing to GO TO for you guys) up and back. Suffice to say it was perfect. We sped past cops, had perfect weather, ran out of gas (s'okay--we just put a pinch of 'frop in the tank and it got us another thousand miles), and saw some guy with a pipe hitchiking. We hit him, JUST to be safe.

I think we scared the pagans. They were having fun, banging on their drums and chanting, when the truckloads of SubGenii came rolling in. We got some strange looks during the crucifiction (as we nailed up Dobbs and torched the hell into him). Fortunately, none of them were using the pool when we had the baptism...the naked Yetinsyny swirled around the pool in a vortex, tangenting in to the center to be reborn in "Bob", via Legume and Jesus. I don't think they could've survived seeing Stang naked (meant as a compliment, of course). Even the drums must've gotten jealous when BTM broke out The Keyboard. I touched it--just for a second; I didn't want to wake it up. It was probably the mass executions that sent 'em running like that, though...

If you don't respect and fear K'taden Legume, you will after seeing him grab Andrew the Impaled's needle and SHOVE IT THROUGH HIS FUCKING LIP. The Swinging Love Corpses temporarily got a new drummer/ranter/eater; all praise Doktor Psychotronic Radionic! Hope I got the name right, and hope they become drawn back together again some time in the future. Ran into the Sexicutioner there, WITHOUT HIS MAKEUP. If you guys think they look scary me, they put on all that latex to make you think they're HUMANS dressing up as ALIENS. You don't want to know the truth. Met a shitload of others was cool to finally put some faces and voices with the personalities. Got to rant and preach up on stage, with amplification and everything, for the very first time. Now I know what heroin is like...I think I passed out afterwards...

Prairie Squid. No, seriously, REAL (though not LIVE) Prairie Squid.

Of course, the most impressive thing was the Yeti Genetic Research Institoot. I don't care where you live. I don't care HOW you live. I don't care what you've done to your house/yard/building/state. You don't live in the YGRI, so Dynasor and Selina are better than you. Period. They've even got cows. I never believed that a cow could be trained to cook breakfast, but when you wake up and see one of 'em frying up bacon, you believe...

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian

--> You can fight the Conspiracy of Normalcy and get back your Slack! --> Send $1 to Church of the SubGenius / PO Box 140306 / Dallas TX 75214 --> Or visit alt.slack or FTP to for info

"Why spend $30 or even $40 dollars for a filthy porno movie when you can jerk off all over the Church of the SubGenius for only $30 bucks!"
- (Pope) Rev. Godfather Gillan [edit]

Original file name: P-Kat's XDayDrill report

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