Bulldada Auction Announcement

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: modemac@modemac.com
Date: Tue, May 2, 2000 10:03 PM
Message-ID: <390f861f.639424@localhost>

Taking place at XXX-Day 2000: THE FINAL BULLDADA AUCTION!

For the third straight year, we will be holding the Bulldada Auction (a.k.a.
the Great Crap Exchange) to raise money for the Church of the SubGenius. This
will be the FINAL Bulldada Auction, and thus it will be your LAST CHANCE TO
RAISE CASE FOR "BOB!" Why is this the final Auction? Because IT'S XXX-DAY,
YOU IDIOTS!! The Xists will FINALLY arrive to wipe out this cum-stained
planet, and there won't be any NEED for Bulldada Auctions after this!

But until the Blessed Moment of 7:00 AM, the concept of "money" will still
exist. Therefore, the Church of the SubGenius needs your money -- right up
until the final moment. So once again, we encourage YOU to bring the
strangest, weirdest crap you can dig up to Brushwood, where YOU will have the
opportunity to get up on stage and SELL SHIT FOR "BOB." (Will shit be
literally sold again this year? Who knows?)

Some of you may have noticed that the "theme" of XXX-Day has to do with sex
and porn. (DUH!) That means that this year's Bulldada Auction is a great
opportunity to auction off WEIRD PORNOGRAPHIC and SEXUALLY ORIENTED CRAP. I'm
sure you'll have no problem finding stuff like this...because sex has probably
produced more pure Bulldada than anything else in creation -- INCLUDING
politics and religion! Hell, just last week I saw a videotape of "How To
Teach Your Children About Sex In A Christian Household" that would probably
have been a real laff riot if I'd bothered shelling out $10 for it.

Imagine the weird porn and sex toys that SubGenii have available to throw
away! Bizarre anime videos, rare porno mags, dildos and sex toys, copies of
the Kama Sutra, videos of famous stars like Linda Lovelace, your own
servitude...it's all there, and now is the chance for YOU to bring your porn
to Brushwood and use it to earn some bucks for "Bob!"

The Bulldada Auction is open for ANYTHING you want to sell, whether it's
porn-related or note. The important point is that it has to be something that
you think people (and SubGenii) will actually want to shell out real
Conspiracy Money for. So as always, BE CREATIVE!

The Bulldada Auction is a fundraiser for the Church of the SubGenius, and
proceeds from the Auction will be donated to the Church.

And once again, because the rules of the Conspiracy still apply until the
arrival of the Xists, items for the Auction must unfortunately be LEGAL. That
means no fireworks or firearms, no illegal chemical combinations, no sexual
services for money (damn), and no child pornography.
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: XXX-Day: Bulldada Auction Announcement
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Wed, May 3, 2000 1:34 AM
Message-ID: <390FBA74.5582@succeeds.com>

Modemac wrote:
>

(see asterisks)

> And once again, because the rules of the Conspiracy still apply until the
> arrival of the Xists, items for the Auction must unfortunately be LEGAL. That
> means no fireworks or firearms, no illegal chemical combinations, no sexual
> services for money* (damn), and no child pornography.
> --

*Hopefully, not including ShortDurMars, with gratuity going to
the Church. I figgure if everyone who has any kind of sex at
Brushwood would kick in a quarter...

Hmmmm... a sex tax?

sex license?

there is an idea here somewhere.

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