How do I join the Church of the Subgenius

Subject: Re: How do I join the Church of the Subgenius
From: John Searcy <searcy@onramp.net>

Billy K wrote:
> On Sat, 11 Mar 1995, Charity A. Brown wrote:
> > Pls send me info.
>
> Dear Con Dupe,
>
> If you have to ask.
>
> Billy K
> "See what I mean? They're everywhere. There's one now....."

Hey, c'mon, Billy K, isn't one of the ideas behind the Church
of the SubGenius to get as many members as possible? (Even if
they are Con Dupes, although I really don't see how you could
infer that about this person from the 1 line of info they
posted.) I think you're supposed to try to round up as many
possible latent SubGenii as possible and, more importantly, GET
MORE CASH TO DOBBS.

Sitting there, all hoity-toity like, taunting them with a "I'm
a member and you're not" attitude seems to kinda go against the
cause somehow. By purposefully withholding membership information
from this guy, you're depriving HIM of Slack and the CHURCH of
money.

As everyone knows (they certainly make no secret about it), to
join the Church of the SubGenius, send $30 to: The SubGenius
Foundation P.O. Box 140306 Dallas, Texas 75214.

Oh yeah, and "If you have to ask." is far from being a
complete sentence. You could at least end it with a "...". But
perhaps I nitpick.

--John

"They may be pink, but their money's green."
--J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, somewhere, sometime

---------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How do I join the Church of the Subgenius
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)

John Searcy <searcy@onramp.net> writes:

> Sitting there, all hoity-toity like, taunting them with a "I'm
>a member and you're not" attitude seems to kinda go against the
>cause somehow. By purposefully withholding membership information
>from this guy, you're depriving HIM of Slack and the CHURCH of
>money.

What's wrong with a "I'm a member and you're not" attitude? Ideally,
it'll whip people into a seething froth (or possibly a frothing seethe)
of jealousy, and soon HUNDREDS of people start BATTERING DOWN EVERY
SUBGENIUS'S door, with HANDFULS of cash from EVERY KNOWN COUNTRY,
particularly countries whose currency isn't PLUNGING DOWNWARD HORRIFICALLY!

'Sides, like you point out, the PO Box is hardly a secret, so it wasn't
really "withholding information" so much as "arbitrarily mocking the
less-fortunate".

-Monty
--
"Have you ever seen someone so obviously seething with jealousy? Seethe,
seethe, seethe. If he's not careful, he'll turn into a seethe."
-Baldrick, S.

Back to document index

Original file name: How_do_I_join_the_Church

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.