Projectile Vomiting

From: (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
: Projectile vomiting is a blast if you eat the right stuff first. For
: example red gelatin, purple grape juice and spinach frappe will make a
: beautiful wall mural if consumed in the right order. I once made the
: mistake of combining black liquorice and pepto bismal and the effect put
: me into a hallucinatory state. Of course I was baby sitting at the time
: and the kids really freaked. I don't know where they got those straight
: razors. One warning though, alcohol will really ruin the intensity of the
: colors. If you want to learn more, just ignore me. That always incites a
: stream.

It's always wonderful fun while driving too.
Windshield wipers don't help.
But it's the sign of a good driver to be able to coat the inside of the
windshield with puke yet maintain complete control of the car.

This fact may be lost on passengers and need to be explained. Should they
show such shallowness of knowledge, feel free to explain this face to face,
while still driving, without wiping your face. Drive heaves during your
profound expoundments may serve as punctutation.

However, this is where the functional rather than the visually pleasing is
more pertinent. Small chunks are certainly as pleasing as they are
necessary, but larger ones tend to drop off and land on the dashboard.
Heavier liquids will tend to gob up and not coat evenly. It is suggested a
combination of too much cheap, warm, flat beer and insufficiently chewed
popcorn be used for practice. Once the technique for maximum window coverage
is learned, then it's time to move on to the more visual.

This is strictly a driver's practice. Puking on the window while a passenger
is passe. Passengers should opt for maximum odor, and place the exspoutings
firmly in the center of the front seat, where the heater and/or air
conditioner can waft the scent maximally.

These are adult practices, and should not be used by children.
They can fit out the window.

-- The Doctor is on.

From: (Aprilfish)

In article <4758el$>, (TarlaStar) wrote:

> actually, I've found that puking directly into the space where the
> window rolls down is much more effective. Not only can it not be
> cleaned out, but on hot days, it will reheat and bring back those
> happy memories again and again.

You ain't kidding. When I was a kid, my mother and I would drive to Canada
from New Jersey to visit my dad about every three months. It's a long
trip, past Michigan, and we'd go round and round and up and down those old
roads before they built the swooping interstate kind. And I puked on every
trip from nervousness, carsickness, and boredom. And of course, my goal
was to get that goo out of my tum, so i wasn't caring what it hit or when.

Well, at 17, when I got my license (on the second try, no less!) my
parents gave me that car. And everytime I got in I relived those precious
moments of my childhood.


From: (Aprilfish)

In article <>, wrote:

> Projectile vomiting is a blast if you eat the right stuff first.

My own experience, from last night, which just confirmed what I knew as a
kid after my parents took me to eat at revolving restaurant, shows me that
texture is key. Sure, you can eat any combination of stuff that you want
in terms of color, but it's that texture thing that manages to fully
remind you what you have only partially digested and keep the colors even
slightly separate so that you don't end up with yellow-brown boring goo. I
agree that the best vomit is created soberly, but often with some sort of
weird eating combination, either when one has been ill and attempts to eat
a variety of craved but not very healty foods (say swirl poptarts,
kidneybeans, and bag of saltn'vinegar potato chips) before one's stomach
has rebuilt the fort.

Last night, and this is true, all I had was a bowl of vegetable broth with
soba noodles, just one bowl, but due to some disagreement with my stomach
and its contents, the stuff came up with a roar and a reaching distance of
about 8 feet. The splash when that shit hit the toilet was another mess to
clean up. But as I sat there, knees on the floor, head over the bowl, eyes
beginning to open as that post-puke migraine descended, I became aware
that these two slightly brown things in my stomach had not even begun to
dissolve, and if I wanted to I could eat it right back up now.


From: timd@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (TimDugan)

I prefer ye olde "close your mouth and barf through your nose" routine.
"Groove is in the heart..."


From: DMCW <>

Now THERE'S a subject that has not been discussed ad nauseum.

Paisley O.


From: Timothy Verry <>

A friend of mine once hinted at his prowess. Unfortunately I am no
longer in contact with him so I don't know just what he is capable of. I
witnessed him walking through a hallway after a concert (from the loges
at the coliseum in cleveland). He projectiled, mostly beer and pretzels
and shit like that, but he *didn't even miss his stride.* He didn't even
bend his head down slightly, just kept right on walking. It was

Tim Verry | "There's a world going on underground"
2L at University of Cincinnati | --Tom Waits
"It shall be a world without Slack, except that thou follow my profits".
"Prophecy of the Subgenius, the Prescriptures - the Economicon of Dobbs
0__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O__ O_/


From: (Jim Vandewalker)

In article <>, (Lou Duchez) wrote:

> Well, it's about time! Actually, at the age of six weeks I could
> projectile vomit like no one's business. Then the doctors cut me
> open and moved some stuff around. Bastards.

I HATE it when that happens.

Jim the Prophet
"Forasmuch as he will body forth what I have revealed unto him and it will be the truth to my people" --The Book of Jim the Prophet, VIII, 12.

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