EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS TRUE
-- therefore --
ONLY YOU can read what this means into it. YOU HAVE THE POWER!
"You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think."
-- Dobbs, 1961
YES -- AFTER ALL THESE CENTURIES of organized "belief"
-- a religion that finally comes out and admits that "IT"
CAN'T BE SAID because "IT" IS WHAT IS BEING SAID AND
DOING THE SAYING AT THE SAME TIME.
"Those who know don't say, and those who say don't know."
(
The Hells Angels)
"BOB" IS A SEX GOD!!
You can lose your virginity -- and we'll STILL let you be a SubGenius!
ENTER INTO COMPLICATED
PACTS WITH TERRIBLE ALIEN
BEINGS!!
EXPERIENCE
THE
TRUTH ABOUT THE SQUIRTING
UNIVERSE!!
REGAIN YOUR LOST YETI POWERS
As you undergo the unhallowed
rites of
Glandscaping and
Acubeating, forbidden shapes from the shadows will be called
forth... you will RELIVE your Inner Memories of past Reincarnalities
in Atlantis, where you were once a fullblood Yeti, superior
creation of our brothers from
beyond the stars.
Look perfectly
normal while mentally practicing the lost arts of
YETINTHROPY®
and SCHIZOPHRENIATRICS® (not illegal in most
states) !!
STAY TEENAGED OR YOUNGER WHILE MASTERING THE APPEARANCE
OF ADULTHOOD!!
TEENS! 'UGLY DUCKLINGS!'
Do you sometimes feel like 'rear dwarf in the dinosaur suit'?
THAT'S JUST WHERE THEY WANT YOU. Peer pressure to 'fit in' and
'be popular' is THE CONSPIRACY'S BIGGEST SNARE!! Quit wishing
you could be like those
pink jerks
-- if you're a 'loner', SO
BE IT! 10 or 20 years from now, if you can avoid suicide for that
long, YOU'LL GET THE LAST LAUGH! When those 'popular' creeps are
30 and have drab lives of passion-deadening
security and
boredom, you'll have gone through all sorts of interesting hell, paid your
abnormality dues, and become a cool swinger, getting
away with more wild shit than they
ever dreamed possible -- because you
didn't give up, and kept up the F.I.B. ("Faith In 'Bob'")!
That's what we did, and now we're better and cooler than anybody
else!
TEENS! 'UGLY DUCKLINGS!'