Foolish doomsayers claim that the sky is falling. It's not, of course; however, THE EARTH IS CAVING IN. The pesticides Grandpa used are leaving their brands on the new babies' genes. The kids get better drugs in grade school now than you did in college. There are cities of 30 million each all over the world, full of people who are starting to want back what they think YOU TOOK, and yet you have to work like a dog just to keep what you think you have. On top of all that, the Russians have a cocked and loaded gun pointed at your head right now -- but don't feel bad, you've got one at somebody's head over there, too!

Of course, this is merely the TOP FLOOR of Hell, the easy part... the Hell where you don't even know you're in Hell. The part where you think you're in "Real Life." HA!

Now, it doesn't always feel like Hell. Some of the time you have Slack -- sort of -- and other times it's drawn up tight. But it keeps getting tighter and TIGHTER , no matter how much partying you do, no matter how much "fun" you buy, no matter how much money you SPEND. So now there's this internal perpetual motion machine of slight disquiet...like something's missing,like something was amputated but you don't know what...OH YEAH, you realize... THAT Slack!

Right -- that Slack. The Conspiracy's got YOUR SLACK, and you're in HELL NOW, and you don't even KNOW it, becauselife on Earth is Hell, without "Bob."

But it could be worse. You could suddenly be crawling out from underneath radioactive rubble with your fingers falling off! You could, suddenly, be attacked and tortured by a mad slasher! You could be head-on-ed by a drunk driver tomorrow on the freeway -- but not be completely killed. So you should console yourself, through everything that befalls you, with the thought that things could always be MUCH, MUCH WORSE than they are now. Don't kill yourself yet; wait and see what worse fate awaits you!

Besides, in the meantime, They'll make sure you have plenty of Their FALSE Slack -- false work, false money, false sex, false love, false TRUTH! (THESE -- are Slack Abuse !! -- and should be handled ONLY by Church Hierarchy. They are POISON for you -- POISON!!)

Most Slack Abuse comes from the system buckling under the weight of its own normalcy, and taking you with it. Something's got to give -- and YOU are that something! You'll HAVE to go crazy, to stay sane! You'll be forced to stop being normal. But, in return for saving the world, the world OWES YOU A LIVING. YES -- IT'S TRUE!

The True SubGenii, the Chosen Ones, the High Unpredictables, shall be rewarded in the great Rupture of 1998, X-DAY, when the Men from Planet X will come; and we shall be LIFTED UP, in Power and Glory, to the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses, fleeing the cataclysms on Earth while being TRANSFORMED into OverMen and UberFemmes, SUPERIOR MUTANTS who will lead a NEW RACE (the MASTER RACE, because it comes in ALL COLORS) to the PROMISED LAND, the Pleasure Dimension of ETERNAL SLACK AND CYTORSPASMIC OOZQUIRT.

Of course, the more timid of the Saved may choose to stay and weather the destruction of civilization as we knew it -- for who can truly guess what other fates may lie in store, once "back aboard" that "wondrous craft?" AIEEEE we must KNOW! We MUST KNOW our Destiny!!

In the meantime, never forget: compared to those PINKS, you're already an OverMan or an

Wait. Wait. They're watching. Act like you aren't reading this, like you just found this tract... get ready to throw it away like you aren't interested... ah, whew, it's okay. They're gone for now.

Where might it END? Dobbs' Prescriptures tell us that The Angelic Host from Planet X -- the "Xists" -- are themselves merely "tweezers" used by higher beings who might as well be observing us through a microscope. Beyond our pitiful earthly vale of illusion are vast, bodiless POWERS of Dark and Light, locked in a constant struggle -- and WE are THEIR WEAPONS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER in the APOCALYPTIC SHIT-STORMS OF THE NEXT 400 YEARS!!

Will you let yourself be manipulated like a puppet by the vile, demonic ELDER GODS into freeing them from their aeons-old banishment, to RULE this planet in their SIZELESS GRIP, or will you CLEAVE to "BOB" and be manipulated like a puppet by his Master, JEHOVAH-1 (aka WOTAN and RA, Destroyer of the Unclean), and His galactic "sidekicks,"the REBEL GODS: They Whom men call ERIS DISCORDIA (ISIS, Kali -- the mad pagan goddess of giggling CHAOS), the inutterably ancient SEX GODDESSES, NUNU and NARNINI, or G'BROAGFRAN , the Unpronounceable, or BANONO, the vindictive goddemoness who delights in cruelly dashing the plans of fools??? And what of NHEE GHEE???

Will you join the Conspiracy's mindless atheistic unknowing servitude to the "Elder Bankers of the Universe" and their MINIONS in some hideous One-World Government, or will you GET SLACK and FIGHT FOR FREEDOM as a zeal-crazed Priest-Warrior for ODIN and the TRUE ORIGINAL FERTILITY CULTS that will someday instigate an eye-wateringly orgasmic One-World RELIGION of endless, delerious pleasures?? EH?? EH??

What you decide may not matter. If you are a true SubGenius, if through your veins courses the blood of the Yeti, then IT -- JEHOVAH-1 -- The Stark Fist of Removal -- will get you SOONER OR LATER no matter how GODLESS you try to be!!

YOU'LL BE WAVING TO THOSE PINKS FROM THE X-SHIP, ON YOUR WAY TO PARADISE WHILE THEY COOK BELOW IN A HELL OF THEIR OWN MAKING!!