Happy 5-23, ya'll!

It's 89 FUCKING DEGREES next to this computer and phone! My a.c. is still down, and this is Texas in May, and the air is full of that brown haze that's actually CONSIDERABLY WORSE than the news is letting on, but FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE! So what if WORKING is IMPOSSIBLE -- that just means some good old INVOLUNTARY SLACK! Like going to a MOVIE!

So we went to the movies and at the last minute decided on GODZILLA instead of DEEP IMPACT. And I'm glad we did. The human characters in that movie are not very realistically done -- you can TELL they're puppets or robots or computer graphics, because NO ACTUAL HOLLYWOOD ACTORS could seem THIS unappealing and fake.

But the MONSTER!!! WHooooo-DOGGIES! I was FLABBERGASTED by the fx. And in a Godzilla movie, the monster is really the only thing that counts.

As a stop motion animator who grew up on Harryhausen and is now learning computer graphics as a hobby, I WAS FLOORED!!! There's a sort of a prolonged chase scene where these helicopters chase Godzilla through the middle of Manhattan, in the rain, until he starts chasing them, and I was ABOUT LIKE TO FALL OUT OF MY CHAIR! Now, you may say, HEY, I've seen the dinosaur chase the vehicles through the rain already, completely with point of view shakycam -- you ain't seen NOTHING like THIS. For one thing, they'll all firing of zillions of missiles which MISS GODZILLA and blow up NEW YORK BUILDINGS instead.

And the CRUMBLING BUILDINGS!!! My god, they must have been burning out rendering computers DAILY for the last few months JUST ON THE CRUMBLING BUILDING PARTICLE EFFECTS! Take my word for it -- visually, this movie is JUST ASTOUNDING. (You know, when Ray Harryhausen did EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS in the 50s -- and THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, which in some respects this is a remake of -- he had to animate every little falling brick on all the crumbling buildings using a zillion separate flying rigs with invisible wire tied to dowel rods or some such shit. There's a shot near the end of this, a panoramic shot of the interior of Madison Square Garden, that I imagine would give poor old Ray a heart attack.)

Otherwise -- well hey, these are the same people who brought you STAR GATE and INDEPENDENCE DAY, two of the most RETARDED expensive badfilm of all time (dwarfed in retardation possibly only by STARSHIP TROOPERS.) But luckily, the leads aren't onscreen TOO damn much without being chased by monsters. Every time the two leads started to converse, I wanted to KNOCK THEIR FUCKING TEETH OUT! I'm sure most SubGeniuses root for the monster in films like this anyway. I sure was. I cried whenever Godzilla got hurt, and cheered whenever he kicked some Trident submarine's or expensive super-helicopter's butt.

There is a character who's sort of a French G. Gordon Gordon. He got the better lines, or at least was able to say them less STUPIDLY.

Well anyway. Speaking of battles of Good against Evil. WE WILL WIN!!! (YOU get to figure out WHICH WE ARE!)

SubSITE is in limbo for the weekend, I'm afraid, DAMN these long weekends, but it should be up Tuesday on a new server -- good old all-American pornographers, god bless 'em, at least there are still PATRIOTS left in this nation who'll do ANYTHING for an AMERICAN DOLLAR!! bluegravity.com -- supposedly they've already copied it over from SimpleMind (GULP!!! THEY'D *BETTER* HAVE!!)... I'm waiting on a password and for Internic to switch over the domain name. Not much I can do.

The a.c. should be fixed Tuesday though -- GOT DAYEM it, why can't I just go out and buy some FREON or whatnot? But now you have to be a LICENSED HUFFER to handle the gas. Fucking Conspiracy.

And my BROKEN TOOTH should be fixed on Tuesday! It's got a temporary thing on it but it'll have its own custom made "crown" then.

All the most important things about X-Day are mostly nailed down -- on MY end anyway; I can't speak for Dobbs.

Alt.binaries.slack was CHOCK FULL of HILARIOUS SHIT this week! There's even a picture of an eyeball peering out of a vagina!


Okay ENOUGH SWEATING FOR NOW. I have to take a shower every time I check my email! On Wednesday I'm gonna go out and buy me a damn little $200 window unit, because this CENTRAL HEAT AND AIR crap is for the BIRDS! Probably make the $ back in saved electric bills in the first month.

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Original file name: SubFound Report 5-23

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