ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY IN BEREA!

Yesterday we received in the mail a mysterious envelope from a Berea, Ohio address. A POPISH address. There was no letter inside. There was only THE ARTIFACT:

A Mega WARHEAD Sour Soft BubbleGum POP.

That's right, a MegaWarhead POP... like a Tootsie Roll Pop, only with (I presume) WARHEADS brand PURE CITRIC ACID coating the outside (for 52 seconds of MIND-BLINDING SOURNESS), and some manner of bubble gum deep inside.

This is a novel variation indeed on the simple, basic, Mega WARHEAD candy, which has neither stick nor gum, but is so sour that we use them during the X-Day Drills to simulate the wrenching sensations of Rupture.

I haven't sampled it yet. For all I know, this the the only one, a prototype, a test never seen again. In this particular case it's watermellon flavored, my favorite. I may be unable to resist DEVOURING it tonight, maybe during the IRC devival, when I can make the most people jealous, or disgusted.

Folks, Steve Jackson finished his game card scripts and the ball is in my court. For the next couple of weeks I will be culling down THOUSANDS of pieces of SubGenius art. I don't know if you ever noticed it, but this religion seems to have an inordinate percentage of artists among its membership. Our only real competition for killer religious graphics are the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Hare Krishnas. The Catholics certainly had their day, in fact, they pretty much whupped everybody's ass art-wise, but what have they done LATELY?

I find it ironic that the Jehovah's Witnesses have such nice artwork, because if I recall correctly, did the Alien Space God tell everybody that artwork was a no-no, right there in the 10 Commandments?

DAMN I can hear thunder again. These summer storms in North Texas are HELL on a computer user. I dare not leave this damn thing plugged into AC or phone. SHit fuck. Wotan's showing off again and I have to go offline right in the middle Sunday god damn night, my main work-night on the Net!!! Hell damn.

I bet if I didn't cuss so much, God might not send such freaky weather.

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