Remember, kids -- Sunday Nite Services in the Church of the SubGenius are an Internet multimedia orgy open to anybody and everybody in known space!

Bring your own cybercondoms.

If you're talking strictly Eastern Standard Time, at 9pm Sundays it's THE HOUR OF SLACK in Audioactive on WCSB ( YES, you'll have to download and configure the Audioactive Player. That takes about 5 minutes. Then you can listen to this amazing Cleveland station on your computer speakers, sounding like an FM radio. (Ehhh, to be TOTALLY honest, the sound is slightly below the FM level of resolution -- it sounds like a clear stereo FM radio broadcast, coming through very fast-spinning fan blades. It does NOT sound like it's coming from underwater, like TrueSpeech and RealAudio formats!)

THEN, at 10 pm EST, you can crack open your freeware IRC "chat" program and join the New Hierarchy of IRC Ranters (along with cantankerous old-time preachers like G. Gordon Gordon and I, Stang). It's like being at the sickest, most perverted party you ever imagined -- only you're not really there, and the loud obnoxes can't BREATHE IN YOUR FACE! Plus, YOU can be THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND and STILL APPEAR COMPLETELY SOBER! You can be ugly as home made sin and still be a SEX SYMBOL!

For security reasons, we have to keep the IRC network/channel name secret from the public. But if you email the owner for the Secret Name, YOU'LL GET IT. For the Secret Name, email:

SO QUIT ACTING SHY! STOP SAYING, "Ohhhh, dearie me, this all sounds too TECHNICAL... I can't DOWNLOAD new PROGRAMS; I'm "only a woman!" Or "I'm just not very technical"! Or "I don't have a good enough computer." Well I'm SORRY, but them DOGS DON'T HUNT!!

I suppose if you have no speakers on your computer, there's not much point in using it to tune in radio stations. But the IRC stuff requires NO RAM, NO hard drive space, NO money, NOTHIN'! -- Except, well, I don't think AOL or Compuserve lets you out of those cages yet, chat-wise. In which case -- START YOUR OWN!!

For ye whose math was left on a bong somewhere in the 70s, those times would translate as:

CENTRAL TIME (i.e., midwest, Dallas, Chicago)

PACIFIC TIME (Californicates and etc.)

You Mountain People can figure the rest out. And god only knows about our good friends overseas and on other planets.

If only I had Virtual Memory for my ORGANIC BRAIN!!! If only I could use some otherwise useless organ to hold just MEMORIES. Like my appendix, or foreskin, perhaps the skin on the back of my left calf or something, where I could store old files for safety now that the main drive in my head is full. These other body areas would not have to do any reasoning; they'd require no system, no RAM, they'd be read-only. Only the kind of low grade neurons needed for memories.

For all I know, there may already be parts of my body holding compressed or "Stuffed" memories... but... the "StuffIt Expander" in my BRAIN is ITSELF ZIPPED! Could be... hard to KNOW...

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Original file name: Sunday Nite is SubNight

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