Don Tatro's Frank Capra rant

From: "Don Tatro" <>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 6 Feb 1999 03:59:21 -0700

>And while we're at it -- WHAT WOULD FRANK CAPRA SAY???
>What would FRANK god damned CAPRA think, to gaze upon the SORRY SPECTACLE
>in which we find ourselves?

He might say something like this:

Jimmy Stewart

Weaahll now, fellas, hold on, there. I... I... well, gosh, what I mean is,
I'd like to think that in this wonderful Country of ours a fella could
still get an even break, even if he got lost somewhere along the line and
made some pretty bad mistakes. I, I, I mean, well, isn't that what we're
supposed to be all about, giving everyone an even break, from the least of
us to the best of us?

I'm reminded of Ole Pete, from back home in Peevy Valley. He was the town
drunk, ya know, and a laughingstock, but one day Ole Pete got tired of
the kind of life he was livin', and he decided he was gonna do something
different with himself, and -- Dya know what? Dya know what? By golly, it
could only happen here in America -- well, sir, the people who used to laugh
at Ole Pete stopped laughing and poking fun at him, and they offered him a
helping hand. And after awhile they forgot he had been the town drunk and an
such an embarrassment to everyone. The good, warm-hearted, fair-minded
people of Peevy Valley gave Ole Pete an even break, you see, and, uh, uh,
uh, the point of the story is... Weeahll, I, I , I guess a lot of you
already know the point: Ole Pete is now the much loved and respected senior
Senator Peter Stanley Hastings from the State of Iowa.

Edward Arnold

Yes, yes, yes, that's all very interesting. We all honor and respect Senator
Hastings, but this has nothing to do with the business before us. We're here
to deal with a most serious issue. We have a President who lied to the
people, and it is our God-given obligation as defenders of the truth and the
rule of law to see that this dereliction of oath and office does not go
unpunished. I suggest, Representative Young, that you yield the floor, so
that we can get on with the matter at hand.

Jimmy Stewart

Well, wait just a golderned minute there, Mr. Representative Stern, I'm not
finished. I've got something more to say, and, by golly, as long as I've got
the breath in me, I, I , I'm gonna say it and say it and say it, and, if
nobody in this hallowed chamber will listen to me, weaahll, then, I'll
climb to the top of the Washington Monument, by George, and shout it from

Edward Arnold

(Aside to grey-haired, bored-looking legislator to his right) These young,
idealistic, wet-behind-the-ears pups! It's a shame that some of them have to
be here a few years before they learn how things work and fall in line. I
wonder how long we're going to have to suffer this upstart?

Jimmy Stewart

(Going on, but no one is listening) Hey, c'mon fellas, whatever happened to
fair play, giving a guy a second chance, letting the kid who struck out get
up to bat again, giving the poor stiff who has fallen down a helping hand
up, making sure that everyone gets a honest hearing.....

Cut to an open portico high up on the Capitol Dome. It is Christmas Eve and
the snow is falling heavily. The sounds of Christmas carols can be heard
drifting on the cold night air. Young Rep. Young, deeply disillusioned and
thinking he has nothing left to live for, is standing alone, leaning over
the railing and looking at the Capitol steps far below. He raises his left
leg to step over, when a voice calls out from behind him.

Jean Arthur
No, Mr. Representative, no! Don't do it! They'll listen! They HAVE
listened! Look! Here they come! You're not a failure. You've succeeded. Your
courage, your example, your refusal to give up your ideals has made them
remember what is was that brought them into politics. Don't give up now,
Mr. Representative. You've won! They've decided not to indict the

Edward Arnold:

(Separating himself from the crowd of legislators and walking forward, face
softened and smiling) How can you ever a forgive this foolish old man? I
didn't realize that I had lost touch so completely with the human values,
the real American values, that inspired me to want to do something for my
Country when I was still a young turk, but, thanks to you, my friend, my
eyes have been opened and I've got my idealistic fervor burning again. By
God, I feel like a new man. I feel young again. Can you believe it, I feel
like dancing! And I owe it all to you. (Turning and waving to crowd behind
them) We all do.

Another figure separates from the crowd and walks up to Rep. Young. It's the
President of the United States. He pauses, looks Rep. Young straight in the
eye for a long, unwavering moment, bites his lower lip, and then steps
foward and gives him a great big hug.

I can't thank you enough, Mr. Representative. Words cannot express my
gratitude. I hope you know what you've done. You've not only saved my
Presidency, but you've saved the institution of the Presidency and averted a
constitutional crisis that could have shaken the foundations of the
Republic. I don't have words enough to tell you how proud I am of you, how
proud the American people are of you. You're a genuine American hero.

The sounds of Christmas carols getting closer and louder.

Jimmy Stewart:

Weaahll, gee whiz, I, uh, don't know about that, Mr. President. Golly, I, I
, I... I don't know what to say. Ah, heck, I'm not ashamed to say it. It
what's we're all about, Mr. President. I mean, we the people, you, me, those
congressmen, and all the other decent, honest,caring people who want only
what's right for themselves, their families, and their neighbors in that
city down there and, yes, in every city, town, village, and hamlet across
this great big, beautiful Country of ours.

Mr. President, it could only happen in America.

The sound of Christmas Carols fill the night as the camera pans to the
majestic Washington monument and holds.

Fade to END

Then again, he might not say anything that even comes close.


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