CULT NEWS, AUSTIN SHOW

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 --

SUBGENIUS DEVIVAL in AUSTIN

at

LA ZONA ROSA
612 W. 4th St. (and Rio Grande)

This news JUST CAME IN, and I don't know yet what else to promise about this one. Dr. Legume might or might not be flown in, in his special "crate." Booger 9000 may or may not still exist to grace the devival with their post-Rudy-Schwartz-Project warblings.

OTHER SHOW POSSIBILITIES:

I will probably be selling swag at the Hawkwind show at Brushwood (Sherman NY) on August 30 and possibly "M.C.-ing".

On August 23 there is a "Hemp Rally" or something in San Francisco at which Dr. Howll Robins will be holding court.

******

DR. LEGUME FUND RAISER!!!

Not one of you contributed a FUCKING CENT to his funeral expenses when he was DEAD, but now that he's ALIVE and KICKING, maybe you'll send a few TWENTIES to:

THE BUY-A-COMPUTER-FOR-DR.-LEGUME FUND

PO Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214 OR CALL TOLL FREE 1-888-669-2323

Dr. Legume is unquestionably one of the most talented, devoted, and terrifying of all Advanced Degree SubGenius Doktors. He is a man whose opinion would actually be WORTH READING on alt.slack, and whose pornography mutilations would enliven alt.binaries.slack -- but he is also a man who REFUSES TO SERVE THE CONSPIRACY because he is a FULL TIME WARRIOR for DOBBS. This means he doesn't have a fucking DAY JOB and can't afford a computer worth buying, right off the aluminum bat. BUT GOD DAMN, what does he need, $1,000???

You people managed to get a computer together for Janor, and just as we Janor-heads warned you, HE IMMEDIATELY LOST/BROKE IT!

With Dr. Legume, EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE WILL HAPPEN. Legume is a FIENDISH GENIUS who suffered BRAIN DAMAGE (the only way he could qualify for our religion). If we chip in and get that bastard a decent box, I'm sure within a few weeks he'll be showing the rest of us HOW TO USE 'EM RIGHT!!!

SO DO IT MAN!!! THE FATE OF MANKIND MAY WELL HANG IN THE BALANCE!!

Let's GET LEGUME ONLINE BY '98!!!

******

Speaking of computers and jobs and shit, I have pretty much withdrawn from all social intercourse this month in order to concentrate on getting the art for the Steve Jackson Games SubGenius-Illuminati spin-off DONE AND OUTTA HERE! Half of it IS done -- "The Best Of Alt.Binaries.Slack" you might call it -- but the other 50 pics are being done (or else just TWEAKED) by myself or my partner in Artliness, NENSLO.

I'll tell ya something. Nenslo is a MUCH MUCH better artist than I am. He is in fact a Truly "GREAT" type artist. ALL the a.b.s. artists are much better artists than I am. And these 3D programs are MUCH HARDER to operate, once you get REAL with them, than I expected! It took my 5 days just to get my first picture halfway right. (DOBBSTOWN, admittedly an ambitious first effort.) I was in Hell all last night, on the "Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back" picture, and I got about a third done on that one, so hopefully I'm getting faster at it. Mainly I'm learning what NOT TO EVEN ATTEMPT!! There's only so much you can do on a home computer, and with a home BRAIN...

I'm posting the "roughs" of some of these pics to a.b.s.... the FINAL pic will be a 2x2 inch thing on a playing card, actually mere shadows of the large panoramas that get built up during the roughs. The roughs are more like the CALENDAR versions, you might say.

Anyway, for a total amateur like me this kind of intricate computer graphics work requires every last smidgen of a brain cell, so I have been concentrating on that and ignoring everything else... so I guess I really don't HAVE any news. Jesus and Nickie and them all work over at the factory and I hardly ever see them, holed up in my cave as I am, my cocoon, with my computers and my little invisible friends... which is how it should be. Praise "Bob."

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