My Last Year's Resolution

Date: Tue, 9 Feb 1999 23:49:08 -0600
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <>

I have learned an important lesson from the tiny civil war that flared briefly there on alt.binaries.slack.

My job is to bash rival religious nuts, false prophets and ALL PINKS. Well, I have to admit, in studying all the evil crimes of my enemies the religious nuts, a certain LOCAL kind of which are more numerous and vocal over on what's called the conservative side, I got so into THAT Hate that I started to forget the crimes of the OTHER religious nuts on the OTHER side, the one refered to (if rarely by itself) as liberal.

This is a good example of WHY the Conspiracy set it up so that we would appear to have ONLY TWO basic options, both of them TOTALLY FUCKED actually, both of them there for NOTHING MORE than to CONTROL US. (The U.S. alone POTENTIALLY offers over 275 MILLION options!) And needless to say they LEAVE OUT the ONLY POSSIBLE CORRECT OPTION, THE WORD OF "BOB"! (The terms "liberal" and "conservative" are both practically meaningless -- like the Bible, they can mean so many things that they cancel themselves out in internal contradictions.)

Each side uses the other as an excuse to remove different kinds of Slack. One robs THIS kind of Slack, the other robs THAT kind of Slack. Whichever one steals the most diverts your Divine HATE towards itself and away from the other... THEN THEY HAVE YOU EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT YOU. ON ONE OF THEIR SIDES. STUCK to the tarbaby of the Conspiracy.

So I have resolved to prime my Hate Dynamo by broadening my education so as to cover the crimes of ALL False Prophets and thus to better smite ALL Pinks. It might not be a bad idea for other SubGenii, especially the ones who are as muleheaded, agitated and/or as SUPERIOR as myself, to "check their oil" too.

We must remember that ACCORDING TO DOBBS, any politician who does not have a Membership Card in its pocket, is ABSOLUTELY not to be trusted. Any politician who HAS a Membership Card in its pocket, is absolutely NOT to be trusted.

Perhaps the RepubliGoons and the Democretins are engaged in total self-destruction even as we speak. Even so, they would only be replaced by two more BEAR TRAPS for SUCKERS. The Refirtarian Party vs. the Liberform Party, maybe. Certainly not Patriopsychotic Anarchomaterialism! Anything but THAT! Then there'd be NO CONSPIRACY AT ALL!

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