PRABOB! My newsgroup access returned. I wonder whatever the HELL the problem was. But as I was saying...

I've been on this cliff face for a long time and I've seen many a climber who WAS ahead of me, LOSE IT from the stress and the Hate -- the hate of Nature which makes us do this mountaineering -- and plummet right straight back down to the bottom for good. It's the Hate that gets to 'em. Not the exhaustion. The exhaustion is only the Hate's *vehicle*. I am bound and determined to Master the Hate -- make the Hate work FOR me.

I have made some progress. It helps to know in advance when the Hate is coming. In my case that's fairly easy -- EVERY MORNING AS SOON AS I WAKE UP. So each morning I immediately start on the Regimen of Slack.

I know that seems like a contradiction in terms, Regimen of Slack. But this is not a perfect planet.

1. GRIPING! Griping and bitching. Not to your enemy... that would give you away. Wait and take ACTION, cooly, later, when the Hate has been Mastered. Griping and bitching into a tape recorder is good because no else needs to hear your Hate and be infected by it. You can INTEND to send the tape to a specific person. One can also write out one's hate, but be careful near modems if you do this. Or call up your best friend and waste THEIR time. The important thing is to vent it so you aren't bursting, and then "VALVE" it so that it become s controllable "whistle" of Hate. Like a teakettle.

2. PHYSICAL EXERCISE. Half of one's Hate is probably physically based. To expell the pent up tension in a healthful burst of paranoiac-critical activity kills two Birds of Peace with one Stone. If you cannot WALK or RUN OFF your Hate, due to a high crime neighborhood, you can at least masturbate, or do the dishes! DO THE GOD DAMNED DISHES AND GET IT OVER WITH! And you can Hate while you do it. In fact, you can throw yourself selflessly into Service to others -- WHILE HATING!! (In my case, this morning, I selflessly did the dishes, and then nursed my dog's disgusting, dead-smelling infected ear, all the while telling him how any other Master would have him KILLED for being an INCONVENIENT MERE DOG. Reminding him over and over that he LIVES by MY GRACE ALONE made me feel more at peace.)

3. FROP. To counteract the physical exercise. Actually, Frop is the ultimate tool against unconstructive Hate or Wasteful Hate. Since most of us cannot afford or locate real Habafropzipulops, common medicinal hemp is sometimes employed, and when that cannot be obtained, beer is a common if sorry substitute. Unfortunately, the beer can backfire, creating Magnified Hate.

Frop is very difficult to grow at home because the necessary fertilizers and 'soils' are so rare and dear. However, hemp grows ACCIDENTALLY in many places, since it is merely a humble common weed, created by GOD to ease the grief of the Faithful, as opposed to beer, which is made by Man and thus sinful, like computers.

If you are not mentally ill and require no drugs, or are so mentally ill that you dare not take any MORE drugs, your favorite music turned up VERY loud will work just as well as drugs.

4. FORGIVENESS. This is the final and most important element, and, once you have Fropped, by far the easiest. It takes nothing more than your own grandiose, pompous magnanimity, your own utterly unrivalled humility and largesse. JUST FORGIVE THEM ALL. Every god damned idiot. They aren't worth getting bent out of shape over, that's the bottom line, and it sullies your godlike state to let their lower natures cloud the purity of your vision. For you must INFLATE -- you must RISE and FLOAT above it all.

I forgave my dog for being a crippled old useless stinking infected mess. I forgave The Others for serving the Conspiracy. I forgave that kid that threatened me in 6th grade; he's probably in jail by now anyway, or a Christian or something. I forgave that French guy that made THE FIFTH ELEMENT for beating me to the punchlines, pictures and "moments." I forgave myself for not feeling Shit-Head enough to take on Hollywood. I even forgave Jesus and God. I forgave every man, woman and child all their sins; I forgave every sparrow that falls. While walking my dogs, and muttering into a tape deck, fropped, I did this. I again issued a blanket decree of forgiveness over all things.

And I felt so much better after that! This is the third morning in a row I've done that.

With only 406 days remaining before X-Day, we can hardly afford to waste Hate on trivialities! There is an entire Conspiracy of Normal People needing to be brought crashing down to its knees, leashed, caged and/or GUILLOTINED. COUNTLESS MILLIONS, nay even BILLIONS, WAITING TO BE TORTURED IN REVENGE by us!

So like, let's not blow it this time, man!! We need to, like, learn to love each other or we'll never CRUSH THEM LIKE BUGS.

I didn't forgive the Devil. You have to draw the line somewhere.


SCHOOL'S OUT. All over Texas, teachers are waking up with hangovers about now, because Friday was the last day, and you know how teachers are when they get off work. While I have managed to isolate myself totally from such mundane concerns as "school," or "jobs," those around me have not (NOR have they sent in their $30 -- COINCIDENCE??!?!?). My First Born Son graduated from high school (!!) and my daughter got a BOYFRIEND with a CAR and a JOB so they've all been whooping it up.

Someone else and I just HUNG OUT on SATURDAY and also went to see THE FIFTH ELEMENT and THE LOST WORLD, both of which I enjoyed immensely because I knew just what to expect. Anyway I noticed that ALL THE TRAILERS for upcoming movies involved TERRORISTS EXPLODING NUCLEAR BOMBS IN THE UNITED STATES. That AND/OR alien invasions.

Get ready, folks! It's the End of the World News, on CNN.


My god. I'll be back later.

Back to document index

Original file name: Hate Hating

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.