95.5.27- This WIll Be A Good Day

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Yes, I am certain that today will be a GOOD Saturday. The weather is
lovely and my MAIN JOB -- the PAYING JOB that's been postponed until now
SICKO VIDEOTAPES for this Indian Rope Burn music vid. I will go through
maybe 100 alt.slack posts at a leisurely pace while that wonderful Hendrix
bootleg, STUDIO HAZE, hisses away endlesly in a big loop. The frapmeisters
came through the blockade and everything is fine. I'll answer some of the
less frivoulous emails. I'll eat healthy snadwiches made of English
muffins with turkey pastrami and spinach instead of microwave burgers.
I'll walk the dogs. Will O'Dobbs will get here about 3, we'll josh around,
I'll show him some of the weirder scenes I've located... he'll go in there
and find tons of ORDERS to fill and some crazy rich guy's DONATION, yeah,
that's it, we'll get MONEY FROM HEAVEN again! When my eyes hurt from
looking at the videos and making notes on them, I'll go across the room to
Tarzan's Radio Studio and ARRANGE the cassettes/shelves configuration in
PREPARATION for mixing 3 whole Hours of Slack tomorrow with the 40 new
tapes that came in that I haven't heard yet. (That's no exaggeration,
incidentally.) So how can I complain? How can I be anything but chipper?
Not only do I GET to do my favoritest shit -- cutting audio and video
weirdness just for artfullness and yuks, but I HAVE to, 'cause the band
and the radio stations paid me. WHen it's LATE LATE LATE at night I might
gird up my loins and ftp myself into SUNSite to twiddle with the Website
by remote control by myself FOR THE FIRST TIME in order to correct a bunch
of minor misspellings, mis-credits and bad prices. That'll be educational.

So you see, everything's fine. Everything's perfectly fine. I wouldn't
hurt a fly.

I don't feel any anxiety about alt.slack... believe it or not, after
griping about it last night and giving up, I proceeeded to skim through
almost the WHOLE 700 POSTS that had built up. Today there are 460 but
that's manageable if I don't panic. And if nothing untoward happens. But
this will be a good day. It won't be like last week. Since Sunday I
haven't peeked in here because I ran into a little snag with my wife's
school-owned conspiracy macintosh. I fucked up its system. Actually, "Bob"
fucked it up. I found an old disk with the ancient Mike Saenz game,
MacPlaymate on it. Onlt this one had been hacked with by the MIT Media Lab
lads and it had a Dobbshead where the MacPlaymate's face was supposed to
be... so you were poking these ridiculous dildoes in and out of a
gender-bent "BOB" when you played it.

Well, that old silly game ran just fine on a MAC 20 or whatever those old
ones were. On System 7.1 (special teacher system!), it invaded the basic
back-brain resource forks and made it to where certain programs (like the
ones my wife uses at school) wouldn't run... only the ART and GAMES and
"BOB" programs would run. Well, that put me in the doghouse seeing as how
I had illegally cracked the protection codes on it in the first place.

To make a long story short, it took a long time, a looong loong time, but
I not only fixed it all up back to "normal," but I now know how to disable
lots of protection programs that would stump a Pink. It's the secret of
the "CLEAN INSTALL." Heh heh heh. I fixed their wagon.

All the GOOD programs are hidden on it where only my kids and me can find
'em... all the Robert Carr irreligious Christian-killing and porno games,
the SubGenius Mac games, etc. Not to mention Photoshop. Praise "Bob". I
couldn't open Photoshop on MY gear. Now I can convert more great Numens
Remissionis shit to GIFF and sling 'em SUBSite way.

See? Everything's fine. I've set a nice leisurely schedule, I think.
Haven't I? No problem. As soon as this video is done I can open up the art
boxes Vreedeez sent back and put together the FIST crap for Big Science
labs to lay out. Everything will be fine. We'll have accumulated enough $
to print a nice fat one. Yes.

I wouldn't hurt a fucking fly, I tell you. Everything's FINE. It will
be a GOOD DAY.

Rev. Ivan "Sunny Side Up" Stang

The Citizens for Normalcy WON'T figure out where I live from that article.
My wife WON'T get fired for marrying me 20 years ago. Everything will be

Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

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