Hour of Slack #1512 - The Poor Picked-On Christians

Easter Special, 2015-4-5 - When the saucers come, our cups will runneth over.


Whooo-doggies, this one should hopefully piss somebody off. It was Easter and SubGeniuses had been writing and posting some pretty hot rants on the Scrubgenius forum, and Stang got to reading them on the air, including "Slack Is" by Rev. Dr. Shoggoth and "Easter is Freedom Day" by Rev. Biggerstaff. The first half is "New Old Bobsongs Best-Of, continued" with music by The El Queso All Stars, Max Slack, The Large, Jere Faison, Rev. Wilhelm Stahlhelm, The Mutant Mountain Boys, Phat ManDee and Rev. Du8. Once Dave calls in and it goes live, Stang, who had become somewhat irritable during the week due to reading the news nonstop, releases the Crazy Preacher Kraken against "Tealiban" Christians who have lately been playing the Oppressed Victim Card with the help of the most popular "news" networks. It's so sad that ignorant fat white Christian right-wing poebucker macho men are such an oppressed minority these days. Let's all weep for 'em.

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1 El Queso All-Stars: Hour of Slack Welcome Song 00:34

2 Steaming Sack of Slack #5 01:00

3 Max Slack - give me slack 03:02

4 The Large - Bobmuzik 00:17

5 The Psycho Skeletons - Another Dobbs Barrage 01:33

6 Wilhelm Stahlhelm: He's Bob Redux 02:39

7 Jere Faison - PINK BOYZ X 02:34

8 LeMur: PR Gnus #1771 00:32

9 The Mutant Mountain Boys (Robin Renee) - May Your Records Be Unbroken (live, 17X-day 2014) 06:55

10 Stang, Doe, Dave on WCSB, Live Track 2015-4-5 41:03

Stang credits the various contributors, then reads three rants:

"SLACK IS" by Rev. Dr. Shoggoth

"EASTER IS FREEDOM DAY" by Rev. Biggerstaff

"Everything's backwards" by Rev. Stang, ranting about the gay bullies picking on the poor Christian minority loner sissies.

Lonesome Cowboys and traditional sailor music from the Ancestral Mogians. Stang stalls, waiting for Dave's call.

Phat ManDee: "Bob" Dobbs Shake (recorded live at 17X-Day)

Lonesome Cowboy Dave calls in -- or is it a Dave imitator? Is Dave an impotent potato, a sackless spud? We'll be ready for the saucers. When the saucers come, our cups will runneth over. Did Dave find any Easter Eggs or secret messages that God programmed into reality? God now in league with Nintendo. The Mario Bros mystery. Redundant place names: La Brea Tar Pits, Picacho Peak, the Ocean Sea. Christopher Colon, who explored the back entranceways to the Hollow Earth, the Arne Sacknusem of colonoscopy. It's Easter during this broadcast. Morpheus and the red pill and Little Nemo. Discussion of Little Nemo in Slumberland, Windsor McCay ("inventor" of comic books), imitations. Those comics will give you nightmares, like rarebit! H.P. Lovecraft, prophet of Cthulu and FSM -- quaint primitive superstitions, unlike our superior fairy tale religions - like Paul Bunyan! "Bob" Dobbs! Blue Ox "Babe" is reincarnation of Brahma, Bunyan a reincarnation of Kali the Destroyer. The Lunchmeat Huguenots vs. the Papist Popish Catholics of France - the Rewardians vs the Emergentiles. No room in the Church for those not Gruntled. Dave's gruntiledge is mounting up - corruptigation caused by psychic demon elements such as computers. Luddite Dave; if only he'd lay off the Lud. Computers just like horses. Lud Pudding on an Easter morning. A computer is but a glorified hammer. The books we failed to read. The Hammer of Thor, the Ball Peen Hammer of "Bob's" Pipe. Dave can decant parts of his own brain - can we have some? Great album, "Escape from the Dave Brain". "The Son of the Blob Meets the Dave Brain." Lucy and Dezi according to Dave. The Ancestral Mogians and their sacrifices - competing Mogian cults wiped themselves out. Earth ready to spin off its axis AGAIN, third time this week! Will Earth collide with the Horse's Asteroid? Nay! Where is the Slack? Under the bed? In the glove compartment? Kicked under the seat? Where's the navel of the Universe? The insert nozzle, the Earth's belly-button? Whatever happened to MISTER Gaia and the little Gaias? 'Cause Gaia has bosoms. Mother Earth -- what about Pappy Earth and Grandpa Earth? Feminazis of color are abusing the poor put-upon fat white males of Christian descent - bullied by the tough gay fairies! They made me feel like a second class citizen! Stang cries like a baby over how They pick on us Big Tough Men. The elites make fun of us rednecks. Think we're ignorant just cuz we don't know nothing. When they make me feel stupid that's ASSAULT! First you need the bellybutton hose, THEN you need the bosom. Suckle the "milk" of Mother Earth: oil and gas. Also the water may all be drained into our bellies, or burned, then we simply move on to the next planet. Some have way more extra gravity than we have! WHY DON'T WE JUST DESALINATE?!? Them sciences is jest stupit. We all hate primates. How "Bob" tricks you into deciding he's decided something - the luck of "Bob" and "coincidences." The idiots who thought they'd be like "Bob." Those who decide they're equal to "Bob" has put up a challenge to the Universe that is gonna make the Universe slap you back in the most humiliating possible way. Slack makes me wanna soak my feet, head and tub. I wish the incoming radio host would show up. Squeeze out unwanted guests like a big old absessed pimple, and fill the void with "Bob". End credits of show, URL. Slow fade-out into the waste-basket.

Background music is all from the video game Monster Hunter 3 (side 2 of the soundtrack album)

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The X-RATED "INTERNET VERSION" contains all original "fucks," "shits," "God damns," etc., and this is the one which is downloadable from SubSITE and which is sent to individual subscribers OR non-American radio stations.

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The Church of the SubGenius Radio Ministry seeks to brainwash you totally into abject lifelong subservience to The High Epopt and Living SlackMaster, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.


Slack, Bob Dobbs, Hour of Slack, comedy, conspiracy, collage, satire, X-Day, sex, Church of the SubGenius, Ivan Stang, The Firesign Theatre, Dr. Hal, Puzzling Evidence, Dr. Philo Drummond, Rev. Susie the Floozie, Lonesome Cowboy Dave, Ministry of Slack, McLuhan, movie trivia, DEVO, apocalypse, end of the world, Priestess Pisces, Dr. Legume, LeMur

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