Hour of Slack #1519 - Live from Distractiontown in Glandlandistan

"Astrology and Autism"

58:58

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LOG of THIS EPISODE:

1    Disneyland  Mission To Mars HoS Title 00:55

2    1 PE Fropshow d-I - age of mutants     08:18

3    PR Gnus #1745     00:47

LIVE 5-24-2015

Stang reads short story about Philo Drummond and "Bob," "The Frop-Ridden Pipe." Stng then explains how it was "written" and follows with a similar story about Susie the Floozy and Old Sequaw at X-Day ("Hippie-Filled Wisteria"). Background music: the Witch Disco CD by Einstein's Secret Orchestra. Stang and Wei carefully describe how SubGeniuses get a special deal for Starwood Festival, which follows X-Day: $135 vs. the regular $245 for the week plus camping! Lonesome Cowboy Dave offers up his new song about the Hapsburgs and congenital syphillis on the brain. Stang describes plotgenerator.com, the story-writing program, reads "Galactic Slack Pipe Wars" compu-robo-story. Automated phone calls; Dave has message machine in brain. The SubGenius Foundation phone answer machine has been especially flooded during the last month by late-night incoherent drunk calls. Spring, full moon, Saturday nights, Mercury in retrograde? Dave on crazy Russian cult that swims in ice water bare-nekkid like X-Day. A wasteland of naked alcoholics. Drunk caller: You're not the only one. Pinks getting stupid on Facebook due to the lack of a sufficient number of large penises. Stang gets sensitive about the phrase "short people." "Average" is a fiction. "Slack is like fucking - the more you put in, the more you pull out" -- Dr. Legume. What's am alarum? Stang on Philo's secret for sounding even more educated than he is (wikipedia). The world is your mollusk! CNN seems terribly disappointed when there ISN'T a terrible bloody race riot; they do their best to help make such things happen. They so hated having to say "Streets Calm." Dave's news job and The Verdict not being "another Baltimore." Stang on the Belo verdict. CNN sure seemed eager for something bloody to report on. THEY WANT YOU SCARED about the weather, the neighbors, about changing the channel. Dave on the shittiness of news and Stang on autospell and unnecessary apostrophes in poebucker signs. The SubGenius who ADDED excess apostrophes. "Two Cousin's Hair Salon." Now what's correctly apostrophe'd LOOKS wrong. Grammar Nazis and autospell. "Their's." It furigates Dave. Distractiontown in Glandlandistan -- our Minecraft planet. X-Day coming up, w/ Philo coming, maybe Bishop Joey -- great mime on radio show! Less than half price to go to Starwood Festival if you are a SubGenius. Stang describes his Starwood sermons situation.

Stang's rant on ASTROLOGY and AUTISM - parents shopuldn't get charts read before the age of 5. For instance if Gemini chart read, increases chance of Aspergers. Scorpio = Retts Syndrome, etc. Vaccinations cause Tourrette's syndrome, explaining right wing talk shows. But in fact it's things like alcohol, obesity, diabetes and measles increase risk of autism. Stang mentions his autistic friend and relative.

Stang goes off on New Age superstitious numbskulls. Stang was vaccinated, that's why he talks this way. The polio LSD sugar cube. Strange statement by Dave re fungicides. Our baptismal font/vaccination font (sheep dip). Nose-picking and booger-eaters have stronger immune systems. Dave on high blood pressure - comes from not eating enough boogers. Wei grossed out, borders on obscenity. Dave ad: "Buckets of Snot." Quit chewing your fingernails, you'll get the autisms." The old ads featuring the true "Bob" vs new ads with the false Bobs and the Gimme-Bobs. The many "Bob"wannabes. The Enzyte False Bob. Stang imitates the ad agency Bobbie behind it. "Bob's" quote on Imabobs: "If you can't make it as prophet, scholar, artist, philosopher, media consultant, comedian, radio host, fortune teller, Ascended Master, trance medium, or panhandler, there's always Alternative Medicine." Dave and Wei defend alternative medicine and Stang tells the tale of Jesus Devilacqua's job as a medicine testing company. Stang rants on the business Pink racist bullshit line: "DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT TO YOU?" Stang's integrity stuck under his toenail, irritating him. Dave good liar rant fade-out. We're making fun of anybody who can't tell we're making fun" ad.

(BUYING A SUBGENIUS MINISTERSHIP just to go to Starwood WOULD SAVE YOU $65 ON STARWOOD!)

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Keywords

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate Rap Song lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm0bxybYVdg

Ft. Christopher Tung

VideoGameRapBattles

Welcome to the Arena

So nice to finally meet ya

We're here to extinct some elder beasts

Stick them in a museum

Slaying dragons with Great Swords

Bustin' beats on Hunting Horns

Slash and rhyme like the Hero of Time

I'm always quick to try force

Fight the prey all night and day

Cause I'm a Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

Now listen close as the monsters approach

Ya need some epic loot - I'm on the pursuit

Shoot 'em out of the sky and I'm hearing their cries

Ultimate combo rate, there's no escape

From the Primal Forest to the Great Sea

I'm always getting ingredients for my new recipes

We don't stand alone, my whole team's deployed

Gunning down these clowns like something out of Metroid!

Put you underground like a Black Diablo

I'm the O.G., Sonic and Mario

Ya I'm on the quest to protect the terrain

Don't pray to no god, I just killed Rajang!

Cause I'm a Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

Entered Rage Mode, chargin' all my might

Every battle I engage in is a final boss fight

Make sure these beasts remain mythology

I'll come at you, don't care about ecology

I'm no defender, I'm a fire starter

Decked out in my Silver Sol armor

Bring death, try to flee, but there's no way you can

Bust a master on the track, like my name's MegaMan.

There's now more monsters than ever before

It's no longer a hunt, it's the ultimate war

Ninety-eight different beasts and I gotta stop them

Can't be overcome I drop the hammer on them!

Stand my ground, got the power of will

Not to mention an endless list of Armor Skills

Summon my alliues, I'm a minion caller

And you'll see the gore spill when I slay Magala!

On top of my game, scaling Heaven's Mount

I'm the last one standing on my slayground

It's survival of the fittest, when the world needs saving

They say Man shouldn't play God, good thing I'm not playing!

Cause I'm a Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

Hunter

Hunter

I'm a Monster Hunter

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