a brief comparison of two theologies

From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)

tjames@netcom.com (Tjames Madison) wrote:
> Lou Duchez (ljduchez@en.com) wrote:
>
> : Come 1998, I've got a window seat Barcolounger on the escape saucers.
> : Where will you be, Doctorb Science? (the "B" stands for "Burning
> : in Hell on Earth")
>
> My guess is that he'll probably be laughing while watching you guys set a
> new date.

Don't worry, even if "Bob" has to reschedule the big business meeting
with the Men from Planet X, there'll be plenty of Hell on Earth that
only "Bob" can help ya cope with.

Besides, "Bob"'s prophecies have been pretty dead-on accurate so
far, so his predictions of All-One-God-Faith Under Dobbs are
simply destined to come true.

> Besides, everyone knows that 1998 is the year the Kibo saucers come to
> take us to Venus.

Oooh, a mere Net deity. Where is Kibo? He doesn't exist outside
the Net. You want Kibo saucers? Here's Kibo saucers:

- ====== - ====== - ======
- / \ - / \ - / \
- ==o==o==o==o - ==o==o==o==o - ==o==o==o==o
- \ / - \ / - \ /
- ====== - ====== - ======

That's all the substance they'll ever have, just like Kibo. But
"Bob" is part and parcel of all reality. As the great Rev.
Pee Kitty said when asked (by Molly) if "Bob" Dobbs is real:

Is "Bob" REAL? Molly, "Bob" is, quite frankly, more real than YOU, ME, or
ANY OF US posting on this newsgroup. "Bob" is beyond being defined by
reality; "Bob" DEFINES reality constantly, without even knowing that he's
doing it! (I said he was real--I didn't say he was smart.) The multiverse
itself constantly reshapes itself to suit "Bob"'s needs, whatever they
may happen to be at the moment! If your existence suddenly becomes
detrimental to "Bob"'s continued happiness, YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED
through some FREAK ACCIDENT. Think about that. Your connection to this
plane, as well as ALL OF OUR connections, are as tenuous as the life of a
brain cell in an alcoholic's grey matter; the only constant is "Bob". I'd
say that makes him PRETTY DAMN REAL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WEIRDOS:

Feel smarter than those around you, but constantly stomped back?
CUT LOOSE with the insane SubGenius Foundation, cynisacreligion
and a society for the bizarre. Unbelievable booklet $1.

The SubGenius Foundation
P. O. Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214

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Subject: Re: a brief comparison of two theologies
From: bay@eden.rutgers.edu (Doctorb Science)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.internet,news.admin.net-abuse.misc,alt.censorship,alt.usenet.kooks,alt.flame,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology,alt.imploding.kibo

ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) writes:

>> You misspelled "I am a mark". Hope this helps!

>I'll try to explain this in nice, slow words:

>Any money you spend on "Bob" is money well-spent. Any money spent
>elsewhere is money that goes into the Con's hands.

Any money spent on "Bob" goes to fund his brainwashing, money-grabbing
CULT! If you read his books you can see the inconsistent, ridiculous
ideologies he apparently came up with while in a drug-induced STUPOR!
What the hell kind of religion is the Church of the Subgenius anyway?
What's the deal, huh? E-meters, thetans, all that stuff? I'm not
sending them my dollar! I got enough trouble when I bought a copy of
Battlefield Earth with my credit card!

>When the Rapture happened, I *chose* not to go: I'll take my chances with
>"Bob"'s saucer fleet, thank you. Seating is still available! Send $1 to:

When the Rapture happens, I'll MAKE 'EM WAIT!!!! An OBJECT AT REST
CANNOT BE STOPPED!! YEAH BABY!

Oh, "Subgenius"? I'm sorry. I thought you meant that *other* religion.

--

Sincerely,

Doctorb Science
(The "b" stands for
"bargain"!)
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

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Subject: Re: a brief comparison of two theologies
From: anarch@cse.ucsc.edu (Anarch)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.internet,news.admin.net-abuse.misc,alt.censorship,alt.usenet.koo
ks,alt.flame,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology

Doctorb Science <bay@eden.rutgers.edu> wrote:
>Any money spent on "Bob" goes to fund his brainwashing, money-grabbing
>CULT! If you read his books you can see the inconsistent, ridiculous
>ideologies he apparently came up with while in a drug-induced STUPOR!
>What the hell kind of religion is the Church of the Subgenius anyway?
>What's the deal, huh? E-meters, thetans, all that stuff? I'm not
>sending them my dollar! I got enough trouble when I bought a copy of
>Battlefield Earth with my credit card!
...
>Oh, "Subgenius"? I'm sorry. I thought you meant that *other* religion.

Well, all that stuff is true anyway.

anarch@cse.ucsc.edu +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ High on life? Try my new 12-step program
D I S C L A I M E R : E V E R Y T H I N G I W R I T E I S F A L S E

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