Bizarre Cult Predicts End of World
A Dallas based group calling itself The Church of The SubGenius claims that the end of the world may come sooner then you think. Founded in 1980 by millionaire business man J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, the Church has attracted over 10,000 members across the world. The fanatic followers of this self proclaimed anti-religion are busy preparing for the rapidly approaching apocalypse they call X day. "This is the day we have been preparing for all our lives," explains cult leader Rev. Ivan Stang, "the glorious day when the X-ists shall rupture us up on the space vessels of the sex-goddess." The X-ists, it turns out, are a race of space aliens who are on their way at this very moment to completely obliterate the earth. However, the tycoon Dobbs has promised that all his followers will be saved from mass devastation by being taken aboard pleasure saucers where every hidden desire is revealed and fulfilled.
If all of this sounds to you like the ramblings of a few insane crack pots, you haven't been paying close enough attention. Beginning with only some poorly printed pamphlets and a few dozen believers, the Church of the SubGenius now has 5 major publications translated into 4 languages, a radio show in over 16 cities, a 900 line, a toll free mail order line, a nationally distributed video, tours, CD's, rock bands, and most recently a state of the art Web Site. "The doctrine and ideas of the world's only true religion are much too large and complex for a few books, videos or the human mind," explains the fire and brimstone preacher Stang, "so we had to move to cyberspace. It was the only place that could even begin to contain the word of "Bob"." And it seems that the SubGenius are determined to fill even that container.
Their website, one of the most visited sites on the web, is overflowing with sounds, images, stories, tour dates, on line marriages, and of course an extensive product catalog. With an unpaid staff of hundreds, this web site defines the cutting edge of web technology while spreading the mind numbing message of the Church. So what is the date of doomsday? According to "Bob", this will be our last full year on earth, for the little blue planet we call home is due for demolition on July 5th, 1998 ... 7am. For years this day has been celebrated by a secret three day festival in New York appropriately called the X-Day Drill. The festival attracts hundreds of the faithful and grows exponentially each year. Don't worry though, there's still hope; business manager Rev. Bevilacqua explains, "There's only one thing you need to do to become a member of the Church and be saved from a horrible and inconvenient death in 1998, and that's send $30 to "Bob"."
Yes, there you have it, the Church offers "Guaranteed Salvation or Triple Your Money Back". For thirty dollars your seat on the pleasure saucers is secured, you're ordained as a Reverend in the Church, you find out where the Drill is, and you get a nifty packet of certificates and a wallet card. Rev. Bevilacqua reminds us, "You don't have to actually believe what we're saying is the truth, even though it most certainly is. Any intelligent person will recognize that the possibility exists that we are absolutely right about the end of the world, and isn't a measly $30 worth your and you children's lives? You can look at it as the cheapest insurance policy you'll ever buy!" Maybe he has a point there. Now where did I put my wallet?
Rev. J.C. "Steve" Bevilacqua
Business Manager, Sleazy Promoter
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Send $1.00 for more information on this fast growing cult! PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214
Fax: (214)324-0993 Credit card orders 1(888)669-2323
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Original file name: Press Release X Day
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