But it's really GOOD religion, Mom!

By TarlaStar <bmyers@ionet.net>

You know why I love the Church of the SubGenius(tm)?'Cause
it's a religion with some serious snob appeal. Not only do the
SubGenii consider themselves better than "Pinks" and "Normals" ,
BUT the really cool old time SubG's consider themselves better
than the "Bobbies" who are just either hyper-active teenagers, or
folks who sincerely believe that "Bob" is going to save them.
I guess that I fall somewhere in the middle of all this. I honestly
"get it". I'm honestly delighted to find that I'm not alone in
possessing twisted interior dramas, and a cynical world-view.
But I can't say that I have either enough time in service, or a
great enough love of dogma and secret code languages to either be
an old timer, or a "Bobbie"; truthfully, if "Bob" walked into my
house right now, I'd shit myself...THEN I'd kill him. I'm just happy
to be toiling in the service of "Bob", I don't really want to meet
the fucker.

I've read a couple of times about the lack of female SubG's.
Well, duh! How many women do you know that can even TELL a joke
much less understand an entire religion based on one? We are rare
gems...worship us for all you're worth (especially Rev. Nickie, as
I understand she's a bit cranky, and if you value YOUR gems, you'll
watch yer ass.)

As a woman with plenty of little "pockets of pink" I have to
admit... The Reverend Sternodox's rants were a bit...shall we say,
eye-opening? I sat and thought about why I had a hard time reading them
at first. I was curious as to his purpose. Well, the first thing is
that they are incredibly dense. It's much easier to enjoy them when
they are taken in small bites and chewed over thoroughly.

Then it struck me that the entire purpose was to do as Lenny
Bruce had done before him...say the most shocking things possible over
and over until they become meaningless ...Do not deny the existence
of the interior madman... Make society acknowledge him as well...After
a time it becomes a reverse mantra, bringing one TO reality instead of
away from it. It's a linguistic example of what things we find taboo in
our own society...anthropology on parade. And then again I thought,
that bastard is crazy as a shithouse rat! Well, I'm betting he's all
of the above. Bless you Rev. Sterno! And stay away from
my children, please.

So here I sit, not quite jaded enough to not be laughing my
ass off, not quite proud enough not to admit it, and not quite fanatic
enough to pack a suitcase in July '98. I'm enough of a snob that I
think you all can't possibly be this cool in person, and still naive
enough to hope that I'm wrong. Call it Conversion Limbo.

In a world where you can make a million dollars a year
throwing a ball into a hoop and STILL not be able to read, I thank
"Bob" that there's a Church of the SubGenius.

Prabob and all that jazz,


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