DAD'S FAQ! (Poor little Selina dared ask)

From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)

: In article <3n3n2a$qfe@lucy.infi.net>, selina@infi.net (Selina) wrote:
On Fri. Apr 21, 1995, iceknife@ashram.com told All:

S@> I've been reading "Slack" for a while now, and I'm still not really
S@> sure what 'slack' is, or what's going on in here. Can anyone explain
it?

ic> NO, NOT REALLY.

I TOLE her and TOLE her, ask 5 SubG's and you'll get 6 different answers,
3 rants, a cascade, two cross-posts, e-mail from some skin goo company and
a message from Iceknife. But nothing that makes any sense. Enjoyable,
friendly and fuzzy warm, but no sense.

* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: selina@infi.net (Selina)

Michael Townsend (mtownsend@interramp.com) wrote:
: In article <3n3n2a$qfe@lucy.infi.net>, selina@infi.net (Selina) wrote:

: >: I've been reading "Slack" for a while now, and I'm still not really sure
: >: what 'slack' is, or what's going on in here. Can anyone explain it?

: Now Selina, you tell me why you posted this query in a thread headed
: 'Dad's' and I'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Slack.
: Fair exchange?

: --
Well to tell you the truth I did'nt know there was such a thing as a thread.
I thought there were just a bunch of messages in no particular order. I
just happened to be reading that one message that Dennis posted about Dad's tape when it occured to me to ask that question. But now I know that
there're are different threads for different topics. Someone was nice enough to explain to me what 'slack' was. They said it was a little like appreciating the wealth you have and having a good luck streak, but I'm just wondering, if you're very poor and 'don't' have good luck, can you still
have slack?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)

Selina (selina@infi.net) wrote:
: Someone was nice to
: explain to me what 'slack' was. They said it was a little like appreciatin
: the wealth you have and having a good luck streak, but I'm just
: wondering, if you're very poor and 'don't' have good luck, can you still
: have slack?

Selina, ANYONE can have Slack...it's just that most people have no idea
what it is or that it even EXISTS! That's what being "Pink" is. (Well,
that among many other things). The best way to get Slack is to send $30
to "Bob"...this puts you a wee bit closer to him on the Luck Plane. Of
course, any true Yetinsyn (er, I'd define it, but I have a feeling you
wouldn't believe me) has that instinctive knowledge of what Slack is; we
were BORN with it, and can develop our own ways of seeking it out...but
it's still nice to have "Bob" as a shordurpersav to call upon once in a
while when that SlackScent(TM) eludes us. Are you confused yet? Good. Now
I can tell you that nothing I said really applies to your question. Slack
can be money. Slack can be sex. Slack can often be nothing more than an
attitude. What Slack is is appreciable by knowing when you DON'T have it.
When you CONSTANTLY find yourself saying, "Oh, if I only had <foo>...I'd
be so much happier...", you don't have Slack. Slack is the state of not
wanting anything because you already have it. If you have Slack, you
won't be poor, or have horrible luck. That's what Slack IS. Of course,
defining "poor" is hard to do...to Ross Perot, we're all poor; to the
mother in the skids with 8 kids, we're all rich bastards. I guess it
comes down to whether or not you consider yourself "poor". If you do, you
don't have Slack...plain and simple. And if you don't have Slack, and
don't know how to get it, it's time to scrape up that $30 and send it in
to the Sacred P.O. Box...PUT OFF that operation! PUT OFF buying that
important schoolbook! PUT OFF eating for a week! Because once you get
closer to Slack...closer to "Bob" (1)...everything you want will begin
coming your way. As long as you've got the right MindView, at least...if
it doesn't change, blame yourself, not "Bob"! Or kill me.

AntiLucid Reverend(2) Pee Kitty of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian

1. Look for my 'Closer to "Bob"' filk somewhere else in this newsgroup.
It tries to explain this concept a little better.

2. Oh where, oh where did my package go...oh where, oh where could it be?
--

Meow!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

selina@infi.net (Selina) wrote:
>..saying that with Slack you can have anything you desire, which contradicts
>what you said that when you have slack you don't desire anything else.
>Dennis gave me a different definition. So you can see why I'm confused.
>But, I'll just assume that slack is peace of mind and individuality. That
>seems to make the most sense.

Dear Child, you tread so gently in here, that I will return the
softness. I have Slack. I can have ANYTHING that I desire, BUT I
know that there is a price to pay. If I want the things the CON tells
me I need...big house, fine car, french jeans, I know...I KNOW that I
will pay for them...not only in money, but in teensy tiny chunks of my
soul, every time I let someone else tell me what I want, what I need.

You want to be famous? It looks good doesn't it? all that
money...travel, people to make you look pretty? Do you know what it
costs? Everything...you get no privacy, no secrets, no time that isn't
scheduled for someone else, you are obligated to stay in shape, keep
your name in the public eye, come up with a new gimmick, embrace the
latest fashion, be the image that they need.

Slack is the opposite of all that...it is the sudden good in the
middle of all the garbage...diamonds in a goat's ass, as my mother is
wont to say. It's when you go to register your car and you see a huge
line of elderly people with wads of wrinkled papers clutched in their
arthritic hands, and suddenly they open a new window and wave directly
at you...yes, you...May I help you?...that's Slack.

It's when you wake up in the morning and you get your coffee ready and
your mind set to face the job in the CON world, and suddenly you
remember that it's a holiday, and you have a new bag of 'frop' in the
house...that's Slack.

It's when you're sitting on your porch and the sun is going down, and
the birds are dancing on the lawn, and the crickets start quietly in
the background, and you realize that at this moment, in this place,
there is nothing wanted, nothing needed but the quiet silence of your
own thoughts and the beauty of the world around you...that is Slack my
darling, and if you let them take it away from you, then they might as
well kill you...

Give me food, or give me Slack, or kill me!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

selina@infi.net (Selina) wrote:

>I was just quoting what it says in the book where it says if you have slack
>"money, frenzied sex" etc. can be yours....not that I want those things.
>Ivan wrote that in the book...It's just that there seems to be different
>definitions of what slack is...but that's okay. I think it was Dennis who
>said ask five people and you'll get six definitions...So I guess slack is
>just having whatever makes you happy...or just learning to be happy with
>what you have and living by your own values. That's a good enough
>definition. Don't you think?

Ah, yes BUT...anything that a licensed SubGenius minister says is
automatically gospel, even if it's contradictory...even if it's a
lie...even worse, if it's the truth.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)

Selina (selina@infi.net) wrote:
: In other words, Slack is basically 'peace of mind'. So it really has
: nothing to do with having wealth or anythhing you're wishing for, but just
: the being content/happy with what you DO have. Well, then the definition
: in the book isn't exactly correct when it says that Slack is, quote "money,
: sex orclean air" or having whatever it is that's important to you, come
: your way.

Actually, no, you still don't understand. The definition(s) in the book
are ALWAYS correct, even (and especially) when they're contradictory!
Slack IS money, luck, and sex, JUST as it is peace of mind. We're not
kidding when we say "The Slack that can be described is not the true
Slack." But you are on the right track...

: Okay, I think I got it now. Thanks...and by the way you have a way with
: words..I have a hard time knowing when you guys on here are 'ranting' or
: really mad...but you do it so eloquently.

If it makes you feel any better, most of us on here can't tell when we're
ranting or really mad either...:-)

Pee Kitty
--

Meow!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)

-=> Quoting Selina @infi.net*9 to All <=-Re: DAD'S!

S@> But, I'll just assume that slack is peace of mind and
S@> individuality. That seems to make the most sense.

NOPE: not quite... peace of mind could KILL Stang or nenslo...

I'd bet "peace of mind" would bore fully half of the known pride of
Yetynsyny outta their rotted, knobby SKULLS!

WHAT IS MOST SLACKFUL IN LIFE?

TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, TO DRIVE THEM BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF MARIA SHRIVER.

SLACK is

the sneak counter-attack actually worked FOR you
the corporate collapse they had coming finaly came
Clinton releasing ALL the goverment secrets over 25 years old (WOWEE, 15 BOOK SET: THE "BoB" REPORT!)
making REALLY stupid crank phone calls
breaking into people's houses and shampooing part of one carpet
leaving half eaten sandwiches in hidden spots in elevators
singing house of the rising sun like a chipmunk
you're no longer too sexy for your cat, which is a big relief to all
concerned...

Peace of mind isn't what everyone's looking for!

SLACK... is knowing you already have everything, AND remembering where you PUT IT!

ICEKNIFE

... JUMP YOUR OWN BONES! : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S
From: mation@aol.com (Mation)

Selina(selina@infi.net) wrote:

: So you can see why I'm so confused.
: But, Ill just assume that slack is peace of mind and individuality.
: That seems to make the most sense.

Sometimes 'Slack' can make NO SENSE AT ALL and still make you feel
great. 'Slack' is something that, when you have it or "get it", you know
it beyond a shadow of a doubt and you won't need to ask anybody else.
When was the last time something happened exactly as you wanted...only
you didn't try too hard to force it--that's SLACK! When was the last time
something horrible happened to you only to find out that the benefits of
the event actually outweigh or nullify the initial pain or setback (i.e.
getting abducted and interrogated by alians from space only to survive and
make a fortune off the movie rights and publishing)--That is ALSO 'Slack'.

If you've ever just sat there doing nothing, feeling particualy
thankful about something--THAT can be 'Slack'! Just feeling aglow or
basking in whatever it is that makes YOU happy is a simple example of
'Slack'.

For a lot of SubG's, slack can and does seem incredibly strange and
outlandish to the uninitiated...but that's the nature of the Beast.

The most important part of 'Slack' is your AWARENESS of it...and
appreciate the fact that other SubG's view of slack is totally different
than this one and all the others. That's Slack in ACTION, Selina.

HAVE FUN,

Rev. Clay Mation

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)

In a previous article, selina@infi.net (Selina) says:

>Well to tell you the truth I did'nt know there was such a thing as a thread.

Technically, there isn't. This is a secret relating to Slack.

>I thought there were just a bunch of messages in no particular order.

You were right.

>just happened to be reading that one message that Dennis posted about
>Dad's tape when it occured to me to ask that question.

Another secret relating to Slack.

>But now I know that
>there're are different threads for different topics.

>Someone was nice enough
> to explain to me what 'slack' was. They said it was a little like
> appreciating
>the wealth you have and having a good luck streak,

Whoever told you these two things is spreading Dangerous Information.

Trust nobody.

>but I'm just
>wondering, if you're very poor and 'don't' have good luck, can you still
>have slack?

Well, I'm just wondering, and have been for the last twenty minutes --
just sitting here staring at the screen, wondering why in the name of
sweet choklity "Bob" you put those quote marks around "don't."

...There goes another five minutes. I'm boggled.

--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey Rips \ on Vision Temple--Tarzana, CA
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 ]\[ "We are not an occult."
Tarzana, Calif. 91356 Rips \ off mnbvc
ac118@lafn.org ]\[

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: DAD'S!
From: mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend)

ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey) wrote:

>: >>: I got my swap-tape from Dad's New Slacks today.
>: >
>: >...followed by extensive hyperscientific warning copy which I've saved
>: >and just might use on upcoming packaging...
>:
>: Huh?

This sort of stuff:
Severe sensory and/or temporal distortion is to be expected. Wait
quietly. We will come for you soon. We have the tools necessary to
complete the manifestation. Unauthorized construction may disturb
intracranial boundary markers, resulting in vertigo and loss of signal
from the rescue beacon.

In case of archetypal dissolution, maintain osmotic back-pressure with
imaginary entities. The best defense is a subjective reality. Surgery
will not be required. A diet which contains sufficient cerebral fiber
is strongly recommended.

>: Dad rules! Dad plays crazy music on the radio! You won't believe the
>: Conspiracy allows this! Dad uses High Quality cassettes! Dad is a giver!
>: Dad oozes! Dad squirts! Dad sprays madly! SEND DAD TAPES RIGHT
>: NOW, UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR TGHARMA TO BE BRUISED LIKE AN OLD FIG IN THE HOT FRESNO SUN.

Rev. Carey said it. The rest of you smoked it. That settles it.

And on a different topic, Selina concluded:

>You guys all seem to have such a good time in here, I just wanted to
>know what it was all about.

Yeah, we all caught that GOOD TIMES virus. Now the pus is oozing right
through the screen. But I like it!

--
>>>Dad's Crapulous Cassettexchange<<<
**Send a tape. Get a tape. It's that measly!**
Mail to: Dad's New Slacks - P.O. Box 4272 - Portland, Maine 04101-4272
::::or Will me for more email:::::

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to document index

Original file name: Subject- Re- DAD'S!

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.