Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger
THE ALL-TOO-REAL DREAMS
Praise be to "BOB," bringer of Slack, true saint of sales, most brilliant
sex god, prime communicant'of the forbidden mysteries and our
guide on the nameless mission.
- It was in the second year of the regime of President Ron, that the
visions came to me.
- In the world of dreams, as real as the conspirator's "reality," I was
- Dream the first. . . .
- I stood on a dusty plain, the cities, towns, factories, farms and all
other works of man folded up toward the sky, forming the entire
world into a gigantic bowl.
- The sky was a tiny disk of blue and clouds concentrated above my
- At the center was the sun.
- He smoked and smiled and winked.
- And LO, the clouds became like unto the shape and form of a whirl-
pool spinning into a common center, and they were like the shape
and form of a vortex in every way.
- And out of the whirlpool came great shining ships of the sky.
- And their shape was like unto lentils and yet in no way were they of
a beanlike nature.
- And they meant me the greatest harm.
- And as they came to me with great malice I yet felt safe.
- I saw a great wonder, the smoke of the great Pipe of the sun covered
me and the great ships of the sky could not pass it.
- And I fell on my face before the glory of "BOB."
- I found myself in a long hall, hung with many lights. And the light
they cast was like that of faded fireworks through the hme of too
- And a voice called to me saying, "In this is your sign, your guidepost
for the coming weird times."
- I asked, "Is this a message, a message from "BOB"? Or is this just
some dumb meaningless Bobbie-dream?"
- And the voice said, "You may question or you may heed or. . ."
- "Or what?" I begged.
- "Or Kill me," it said.
- From behind me came a man's voice.
- "If you value your sanity, don't turn around," he said.
- I almost turned around to look but strong hands deterred me.
- "You are very stupid, it is a powerful force. In the future you will be
stupid for me."
- And the odor of Prince Albert hung in the air.
- I hitchhiked a desert highway with nothing in sight for hours on end.
- Out of the west came a cloud of dust and the sound of thunder.
- And without reason I trembled with dread.
- And I felt the force of Slack upon my mind.
- And I felt a wonder of what came forth from the road.
- And I stuck out my thumb.
- And past me almost faster than sight went a car without wheel or
wheel within wheel, but supported on the very air itself.
- And I turned in wonder to see the driver of this wonderous thing.
- I saw only the back of the head with the Pipe.