Yes, the Church of the SubGenius needs YOU! you rascally nympho, you
well-oiled muscle boy, you lewd androgyne, to become a Sacred Prostitute
and screw for "Bob"! "Bob" is the Pimp who gives you ETERNAL SALVATION
along with 20% of your earnings! You can gain access to Church events held
in secret around the world, and find out about "gleet", "prairie squid" and
"the Pipe"! Gain the sort of sexual expertise that it would take you
decades in a Ceylonese whorehouse to obtain - jump from streetwalker to
madame in one easy step!
The Church of the SubGenius is full of men, women and things who won't MIND
that you're a whore - they'll treat you with respect ... if that's what you
want. If you want to be treated like the numero uno jizz-bag at the bottom
of the multigendered sexual free-for-all than that's how we'll treat you!
For your application, please send $1 and the results of your latest medical
PO Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
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Original file name: FRIDAY'S CHURCH AD
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