From: email@example.com (Jesus@subgenius.com)
Date: Sat, 12 Jun 1999
Organization: SubGenius Foundation
We're doing less so you can do more!
That's right, we've decided that the Cult Leaders
should have the most Slack, else what would new initiates
have to look forward to! Don't worry, there will still be
your favorites: "Bob"tisms, Nude Wrestling, and all night
Rant-a-thons. The Foundation will have far fewer but much
more grandiose events.
In the past many have set up what can only be called
theme camps: Topless Eight Ball Divination, All
Night Espresso Bar, Grope Tent, Free Radio SubGenius, and
so on. This year we will be giving away big prizes to
the best three. The top place winners will get their entry fee
back, as well as a host of other prizes. There will also be
runner up prizes and perhaps even "Best Of" categories,
such as Best Bribery of Judges, Most Flesh, Best Hatred of
Build Your Own Ship.
Bring your best model rockets for the largest single
simultaneous launch in history.
Body Fluid Wrestling
We had to top ourselves, so this year we bring a four
ring, no stopping for excessive blood loss,
single elimination match. Each contestant will pick a
champion to fight for, and perhaps the more
emergentile Subs will even dress as their champion to
properly represent him or her in the ring.
Will it be Zeus vs. Farakahn, Gandhi vs Ronald McDonald, Vishnu vs. Hitler, let's find out who really is running things around this planet. TRIAL
BY BODILY FLUIDS. If your champion is REALLY the best then you will win!
NOW IN COLOR! Winner of 4 body-paint color matches (red, white, blue, green) will writhe in one final psychedelic color-mixing battle atop an American flag! Winner gets to burn WITH the flag AND the Bibles during the One Hour Hate-In.
Bring your highschool best for the most perverted
(and shortest) prom ever.
Where you are the target.
Ho Hum, naked sex orgy in the pool, same as
Including the Trial of Papa Joe.
Book and Tools of the Con Burning
Bibles, SubGenius Books, Credit cards torch it all for
Sponsered by Modemac, one of the most fun and
profitable events. Bring weird crap to auction. All profits
go to the Church.
Rules for special events
Don't get too hung up on rules or what will happen,
this is after all a SubGenius event, you'll find
out when you get there. Just bring STUFF and all will
happen according to Dobbs Plan.
Besides essentials you may want to bring: model
rockets (No Fireworks), costumes, your old
porno collection, books and tools of the Con for the good 'ol
book burning, body paint, donations to the
Bull-Dada auction, birth control, extra towels and socks,
spare set of shoes and a portable radio, we can't
go into detail on why to bring them all, but trust us, you'll be
glad you did.
More Music, Better Sound
We've gotten confirmation that Einstein Secret
Orchestra will appear, and have several other new
bands along with many great ones that will be returning. We
plan to have a professional sound and light
technician, and an alternate system for all night ranting!
*** Bands wishing to perform must contact
for information and to get on the schedule. If you do not you may not get a chance to perform on stage.
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