Motorola Squab Fibber

by Rev. M'muh (the amputation formerly known as Sterno)

This one guy that was a barbarian and had long hair and a giant sword
and five battle axes and twenty hundred bows and arrows and giant
muscles and was a king of this other land was throwing this other guy
that was a magical wizard that was bald headed and had a dick tattooed
on his left ear over a cliff, but the wizard made a spell that turned
the barbarian's hands and arms into dried up turds that broke off and
he dropped the wizard. Then this giant monster that was magic and
allied with demons came and ate the barbarian except for his hands
and arms that were made of shit because it didn't like it. Then the
arms and hands that were shit got on the ground and it started
raining and the shit got all runny and smelly. Then the shit flowed
downstream into a little stream where it joined other shit and turds
and piss and stuff from the town that was on that stream. But the
town built a dam that morning and it backed all the shit up into the
town and drowned all the young girls and babies and old people in
piles of runny shit. And this one guy got buried in the shit tonnage
and never emerged alive from it. And this whole family struggled to
get out of the house as the shitstream gushed in through the windows
and down the flue and they all remained unsubmerged for several hours
until the lucious, creamy shit reached the ceiling and they all got
exhausted and drowned in the oceans of rancid, dick-riddled shit.
Then this other universe that was completely filled with shit up to
the veriest brim protruded into our universe through a rift in the
fabric of time and space and started pumping volumes of shit
undreamed of by man into our universe and killing everybody in its
path by drowning them in shit. Suddenly a deadly virus that made you
shit before you died infected everybody except this one girl whose
name was Sally the Barbarian Queen. Sally lived but had a magic stone
that turned all the dead people into magic zombies that were all
covered in shit and the whole ocean was nothing but real, real, REAL
runny shit that had corn in it and peanuts in it too. But the zombie
sailors all jumped overboard and ate some of the shit but not enough
to make any difference because there was too much of it. Then even
more came through and this cleric guy took a shit and added it to the
rest of it. Then this horribly mangled mutant half horse, half monkey,
half gorilla and half human creature landed on the one place where
there was no shit. But it took a REALLY HUGE shit on the spot, so
then every place on earth was covered in gooey, splatted out shit
that smelled awful even when it was adulterated by some cut off
dicks.

The End

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