Earth's Third Universal
BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!
-- from Slack Friday (Nov. 27) through Xistlessnessmess (Dec. 22 deadline)
TWO SubGenius Ordainment kits for only $35 (plus postage)! Save yourself and a loved one!
-- OR save a loved one plus a deceased ancestor!
-- OR save a beloved pet or potted plant AND a total stranger -- or a hated famous person at random!
-- OR just keep the kits yourself, thus DENYING salvation to TWO DESPISED ENEMIES!
It's entirely up to you!
(If one or both are meant to be gifts, you can tell us where to send what in the Customer Instructions section of the payment page!)
To take advantage of this insane $35 2-for-1 SubGenius Membership SLACK FRIDAY Special Sale, click The Sacred Button below:
Offer Ends Dec. 22, "2015"
LEASE YOUR SOUL to 'BOB" for SAFEKEEPING! - watch the "interest" GROW and GROW!
The SubGenius material has only recently been made public. This is YOUR chance to get in on the ground floor of a huge, lucrative cult -- NOW, while rates are low. You will then be eligible for all the $$$, weird sex, and SHEER POWER OVER OTHERS that go with high-ranking membership in the Church. And yes, YOU CAN PERFORM LEGAL WEDDINGS!
Overcome shyness and guilt with this fantastic replacement for a huge penis or "perfect" breasts. Read THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL and learn not only the Word of Dobbs but also ways to contact, buy from, and sell to the incredible (yet real!!) network of SubGenii and subsymps everywhere. Learn of local revivals, other secret societies, UNUSUAL PRODUCTS, Other Mutants. THIS IS NO FAKE. Puts you "in charge" of your life. You'll be READY the next time your face is on fire. Quick Condown Clampspiracy release. Easy on delicate tissues... no danger of runaway infection.
Pamphlets #1 & 2
REGARDING GIFT ORDAINMENTS: Our payment page has an area where you can tell us to, for instance, send the package to someone else. The recipient fills out the necessary forms, so don't worry about your name being engraved on something meant for another person. Thanks and Praise "Bob."
Really want only ONE Membership package? Click the button below for the classic regular Ordainment Package.
Main Catalog, More Holy Products