Pink Boy's Prayer

From: (just passing through)

We have "Bob", but pink-boys have their faith too, which should be
respected. In the interests of understanding amongst creeds, I post here


[long version, to be recited before bed [sex or sleep]]

Lord, I beseech thee, remove this mark of uniqueness. I have
fit myself to be like the mold which is cast, yet I know that I have
been different and I fear that I am wierd. They are watching me
and seeing the DIFFERENCE, so that I feel the TAINT upon me. Take away this
ugly blemish and make me clean and smooth, like unto all the others.

Lord, I strive to cut away the part that sticks out; I have placated
every one but I have not become a WUSS, I have been rude when it is time
to be rude and I have been good when it is time to be good; send me now
my reward.

Lord, I promise thee, shouldst thou present me with much moola and many
sexy babes, I shall spend the moola on things of the FLOCK, which
shall be cool, and admired of the flock, and I shall take the babes
around to my buds, and they shall be envious, and admire, as they
should. And the babes shall help me spend the moola, and the moola will
get me the babes, and I shall feel like a man, and all will be as it

Lord, bring me to the higher things in life. Show me what is cool, for
I am ignorant, and do abase myself; in thy EYES I am a nerd, raise me
up, and make of me a regular dude, and should it please thee, lift me
to become COOL. Verily, shouldst though show me what is COOL, and HAP'NIN,
I shall follow it the rest of my days, so long as it shall be COOL. Show me
the JOKES that I shall JOKE, and I will joke no other; show me the clothes
that are HIP, and I shall wear no other; verily, I shall pay with payments
until the seventh year for a CAR which is COOL. Lord, show this favor to
your servant, that he may be joking, and wearing, and driving, that which
is cool.

Lord, give me a clue so that I shall not be sneered at, and called CLUELESS,
and set apart from the herd, and I shall repay you; I shall be your humble
servant, I shall accept your gifts modestly, even unto pretending that I
am not aware that I am COOL, save that I sneer at those who are UNCOOL, and

And Lord, should it be that thou hast rewarded me thus, I shall fill my
LACK only with your presence, unto the very limit of WORKING, and BUYING,
and SPENDING, and PARTYING HARD, and I shall have FUN and be FULFILLED only
according to your decree.

And Lord, take away from me this man "Bob", for his eyes seem to follow me,
and he seems to laugh at me; it is not fitting that a servant of the Lord
shall be laughed at, for is that not the covenant, that all who serve the
Lord shall be spared from the laughter of others?

And Lord, may I spare a moment to pray for those outside the flock; wouldst
those please shame them most heartily, and make them knowledgeable that
they are not of the FLOCK, and are indeed pathetic in their exile, so that
we who are of the flock may look upon them, and give hearty thanks that we
are not they. And should it please you, make them desire to be of the flock,
so that we may stand shoulder to shoulder and push them away, and thus have
great joy in being of the flock, for that is the way to be.


[The short version, for use when driving, or as a mantra]

Lord, wouldst thou take away my soul, which discomforts me, and
fill the hole which remains, with the rod of your law.

-- Rev Rich
Spewer of the Prime
CotSG A-Linear SubSpeaker

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Original file name: Pink Boy's Prayer

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