STARWOOD 2008 Photos by Stang & Wei
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Phil's Grill Menu

Legume-Colored Tats


Bonfire Woodpile
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by Rev. Stang

I just woke up about half an hour ago, at 11:30 a.m., after unpacking last night.

The important thing for We/I is that ACE's numbers once again matched up with Brushwood's numbers. This means that Wei has essentially saved Starwood yet again. In fact some Brushwood employees said that they won't work Registration UNLESS Wei is running it and I am her lackey.

The hardest part was the last four days before Starwood started.

After the first 3 days we were able to leave the Registration area and go tooling around in our golf cart, showing Wei's mom and brother the sights.

Most amazing thing seen: Alison raping Rev. Steve Scynic not just once but several times. Legume filmed it and I have pics. I am not shitting you. Steve RESISTED!! But Alison had help from that other pretty SubGenius girl, the one that last year was pregnant and had a devil-baby fetus painted on her belly. She is now a bleached-blonde.

The Rumble in the Jungle featured everybody from Chas's old bands (except Dave) playing his greatest hits, with BOB MOZIK SINGING! That was downright spooky. Pater Nostril got a good recording.

Wei's fave band, Maggie Pierce and EJ, performed the entire Sgt. Peppers album live, IN COSTUME.

VIDEO: Rev. Ivan Stang rants at Starwood 28

As usual, I had the biggest audience of anybody except the top bands. No shit. In fact I started out my sermon with "I don't really believe in ANY of this magic crap" and got huge applause at that. Wei, Scynic and Andy Christ, as Swaggarts, sold all the swag that didn't sell at X-Day, and I got to deliver all the mini-sermons that I didn't get to deliver at X-Day due to the screaming ninnies from Portland. So many more SubGeniuses come to Starwood than to X-Day, and my rant is received and recorded so much better, that I'm tempted to just drop X-Day and make it a subset of Starwood. That way, everybody would have to pay $210 instead of $30, and we'd have 10 times as many SubGenii showing up. Makes sense, right? But that's why we probably won't do that.

Again, despite my constant self-description as a Secular Humanist SubGenius, Dobbs Scientist, and all-around disbeliever in any of that shit, I was selected to be a Torch Bearer, i.e., one of the Action Eight who get to lead the parade to the bonfire and then appear to light it with these giant matchsticks. This time, Dok Mojo was the official rocket scientist who prepared the actual lighting and explosive devices hidden inside the wood pile. He laid in several surpise exploding rockets. One landed on the ACE tent and one landed in the Fairy Woods.

At The Time Machine, Visitor and $tarburner had decided to burn their flying saucer prop after years of use. They had it atop a tower which we were ready to film burning on Friday night. However, it didn't JUST burn. It exploded. The echoes and repercussions are still being felt.

Starwood/Brushwood is more infiltrated with SubGeniuses at the top than ever. Think about it. That whole Tiki Banzai/Area 23 Wild Bunch. Within the Chameleon Club itself, the very founders, Wei, me, Ron Slabe, half the new members like Steve Scynic. Oh yes, Our plan proceeds apace.

Numbers were down, about 1,250, probably because of gas prices. This meant fewer nipples to be seen bouncing. And the ones that were bouncing were all hideously mutilated with those nipple rings that every Pink has to have to feel trendy these days.

We heard about and participated in many amusing dealings with the people who go crazy with rage and anger when the Love People don't Love them.

But mostly it was a ton of fun; at least it was after the "cattle call" at registration, which ate up all of the first half of the fest for us. On Monday, I put wristbands on about 500 people. One of them noticed that I had a "Bob" shirt on and started quizzing me about things like "What's "Bob's" wife named?" and suchlike, to see if I was a REAL SubGenius like he was. I played along and said things like, "Uh... hmmm... Connie? Yeah, that's it! Right?"

I think I'm going to go back to bed now and sleep another 12 hours straight. Goodnight.

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