Doktor K'taden Legume, preacher for hire

From: pastorx@aol.com (Pastor X)
Date: 6 Jan 1995

PREACHER FOR HIRE:
DR. K'TADEN LEGUME, WORLD RENOUNED PREACHER AND MUTANT FREEDOM ADVOCATE,
IS AVAILABLE TO SPREAD HIS EVIL WORD AT YOUR HUMBLE DEVIVAL ! REASONABLE
RATES! DONT MISS THIS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THE WARMTH AND MAGIC OF
THIS WORLD FAMOUS ARCHITECT OF CHAOS! CALL HIM TODAY!

1-610-874-6582 (voice)
OR WRITE TO HIM AT:
K. LEGUME
#2 SEVENTH STREET
UPLAND, PA 19015-2905

SEND $3.00 (CASH ONLY) AND RECEIVE THE EXCISED PORTIONS OF "REVELATION
X, THE BOBAPOCRYPHON" CHAPTER SEVEN, "SINS".
THERE ARE MANY SINS THAT YOU WILL MISS OUT ON WITHOUT THIS EXCITING AND
INFORMATIVE TEXT. FOR AN ADDITIONAL $2.00 YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE A PACKET
OF HIS MOST HIDEOUS AND INSPIRATIONAL RANTINGS. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL,
DON'T FUCK UP NOW. IT'S TIME TO BURN DOWN THE CIRCUS, AND SET THE MONKEYS
FREE. TELL EM' PASTOR X SENT YOU AND RECEIVE A HANDSOME AND AUTHENTIC
DOBBS PRAYER CLOTH, GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YOU. DELUGE HIM WITH CASH AND SEE
WHAT YOU GET. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Pastor X

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And Stang adds: IT'S ALL TOO HORRIBLY TRUE!!! Dr. Legume is truly a GIANT among preachers. Yet this king of the jungle has been seen only in his native Skull Island of the northeast devivals. BRING HIM TO YOUR LOCAL DEVIVAL if you can't afford me or both of us. "YOU'LL JACK OFF THROUGH YOUR STIGMATA HOLE!"

I HAVE SEEN HIM EAT "BOB'S" BRAIN -- AND NOT EVEN "WELL DONE"!! You'll gag, you'll gasp, you'll drop your Slacks in terror when you see this ONE-MAN FREAK SHOW IN ACTION!!

And his pamphlets make the great JACK CHICK look like a RANK AMATEUR!!

DO.. YOU... DARE??

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Original file name: K'taden Legume

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