THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SUN

by Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo)

I thought you'd want to know about this.

This morning, while staring into the sun, using the telescopic vision
blessed upon me by The Ipeiot, I discovered startling news: As I sus-
pected all along, THE SUN IS ACTUALLY MADE OF WATER, not gas or any
shit like that! I know this because I could actually see little gold-
fish swimming around (sunfish, I guess...) inside the sun, which now
appears to be like a large polyurethane balloon, dropped from the sky
by God perhaps as a practical joke, which landed on some sort of cosmic
meat hook and got stuck in outer space. I'm not sure, but I think I even
saw one of those little twisty-tie things at the top, holding it all
together. One side of this "balloon," (I'm not sure of the actual
scientific terminology) on the inside, there appears to be some alum-
inum foil-type substance which reflects out light and energy directly
to Earth, with the little solar goldfish swimming around in front,
which, from OUR vantage point, makes the sun appear to sparkle. It is
now obvious that Earth is the only planet in the universe that is
capable of accepting light and solar energy from the sun. The sun is
aimed directly at us only. It bypasses Venus, Mercury, Uranus and all
those other planets closer to the sun--they receive nothing. They
deserve nothing. These planets are useless to us. They are only in the
way. We must use our nuclear weaponry and laser beams to destroy
them. I'm sick of the universe getting in my way all the time.

--Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo)

(For ZR PromoPak info, email: <idghtms@mvs.oac.ucla.edu>)

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: [KOOK NOMINATION] Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo)

From: hanson@cs.uiowa.edu (Rolf Hanson)
Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,alt.fan.frank-zappa,alt.slack,rec.sport.pro-wrestling

In article <3op5um$kq8@cwis.isu.edu>, matajame@cwis.isu.edu (Zeke M. Towson)
writes:
|> Oh, baby. Forget about all the other kooks in RSPW. This post
|> titled "THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SUN" by Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo) takes
|> the cake. He claims to be a recording star. He claims to be the manager
|> of The Warlord. He, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most "out there"
|> of all the people I have seen on the 'net in quite some time.
|>
|> Read it and weep.
|>

errr...I think you may have been a bit naive about things here, "Zeke." I'm
just going to watch this from across the street, Ok?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Subject: Re: [KOOK NOMINATION] Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo)

Zeke M. Towson (matajame@cwis.isu.edu) wrote:
: Oh, baby. Forget about all the other kooks in RSPW. This post
: titled "THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SUN" by Zoogz Rift (The Liquid Moamo) takes
: the cake. He claims to be a recording star. He claims to be the manager
: of The Warlord. He, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most "out there"
: of all the people I have seen on the 'net in quite some time.

: Read it and weep.

<Zoogz's discovery of the Liquid nature of the sun snipped>

I don't get it...Zoogz has shown himself to be a well-recieved musician,
a high-class manager, and (now) an inspired scientist who may very well
win a Nobel prize for this discovery. And you call him a KOOK? You sir,
obviously have MORE than a few problems of your own...I would recommend
seeing a good psychiatrist.

Reverend Pee Kitty
--

Meow!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: TruthAboutSun

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.