Bleeding Head Trauma

From: (Aprilfish)

In article <>, wrote:

> About a month ago, I developed a very large lump on my head, just above
> the hairline. I was huge, and it hurt like a motherfucker, but for the
> life of me I couldn't think of where or when I might have bumped my head
> on anything.

blood and guts deleted

It wasn't necessarily a huge zit. I had an acquaitance (just met this guy)
tell me a story about his butt cyst that sounds very similar to your head
one. His though did not spontaneously burst, but continued to grow in that
place on your butt right above your ass crack but before your waist, until
he was permanently doubled over, could not get up at all. Bent over
double, his dad carried him to the hospital, where a new surgeon dressed
in surgicals stabbed him with a lance, and when my friend turned around,
the surgeon was completely covered with blood and puss. Apparenlty, they
told him, that month of pain was caused by a virus that causes butt cysts,
leg cysts, and maybe, just maybe head cysts. I think you got off easy.


Subject: Re: bleeding head trauma

I wrote:

> >About a month ago, I developed a very large lump on my head, just above
> >the hairline. I was huge, and it hurt like a motherfucker, but for the
> >life of me I couldn't think of where or when I might have bumped my head
> >on anything...

>> [Portions deleted in the interest of National Security]

> > ...It didn't look like a zit, it didn't feel like a zit, and it had never
>> >popped despite a lot of poking and prodding.

Sylvia replied:

>Oh you lucky creature, you are growing another brain! I speculate (not
>knowing you) that one of your personalities decided to take matters into
>his/her own hand and try to assume the position of "alpha alter." Your
>future looks rosy, you will have conversations with yourself that are
>meaningful and vivid. Please keep us posted as to who is trying to

Well, as has been posted here before, many years ago the CON threw me
into a re-education camp (called "detox" or "rehab" in CONspeak) and
sucked all of the Slack out of me. I actually managed to FORGET THE
CHURCH EXISTED! I couldn't tie my shoes or pee straight either. About a
year ago I started to wake up again and snap out of it, because you can
take the Slack out of a SubGenius, but you can't take the SubGenius out
of the Slack.

Well, living in New Mexico, I was exposed to some Native American
religion. Yes, brothers and sisters, shamanism is at its core a tried
and true SubG clench, even though it existed for a few centuries before
"Bob" showed up. Don't confuse the issue with facts, just listen. There
is a legend (this is true) that before hoomyns, the earth was populated
by Bear People. They were big and hairy, had technology, and when hooms
did show up the Bears could generally kick their ass. The Bear People
were wise, and had healing magic and knowledge of herbs and other shit.

Eventually, the Bear People started stealing hoom women and breeding
with them. These were the original "half-breeds". THen one day, the Bear
People did something that pissed off the Great Spirit (I could never
decipher exactly what), and He took away the priviledge of sentience and
made them into animal-bears, paving the way for the hoomyn takeover.

Many tribes beleive that bigfoot is the last Bear Person, roaming the
earth looking for a way to restore his people to glory. THE BEAR PEOPLE

Old memories began to awaken in me, memories of the teachings of "Bob".
Then I had a vision of "Turok", the spirit guide of "Bob". It was he who
gave "Bob" the One True Pipe, which had once belonged to the Bear
People, and had been handed down from generation to generation of the
native american yetisyn who were descended from the Bear People. 'Frop
was one of the healing herbs smoked by the Bear People, and the symbolic
tradition of smoking the Peace Pipe descends from an ancient Bear People
cleansing ritual.

Back to the point: After I had pulled the wool over my own eyes again, I
underwent a personality shift. I was alive again, it was a resurrection
of my Yeti self. I changed my name, and began a new life away from those
in the CON who had enslaved me. But I was haunted by visions. The "Pink
Me" kept trying to assert itself! But verily, it could not attain
dominance again, because I HAVE MY SLACK BACK!

Sylvia, I have concluded that you are right. This was a second brain, a
Pink brain, trying to control me again. Because I have SLACK, the best
manifestation it could manage was a giant ZIT.

Praise "Bob"!

Berin Kinsman
(lit. trans. "Related to Bears") the CON is sucking my bandwidth
Rabbi-Without-Portfolio if I don't respond to you on
Great Lodge of "Bob", Shaman alt.slack, send me e-mail

The Albuquerque ROS - (505) 296-3000
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From: (Carlos May)

Hats off to Uncle Bear Kinsman!

Not all of us are holy enough to live by the sacred motto of
"Bleeding Head Good. Healed Head Bad".

Happy Launching,

-- Frater Frogalogus

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