The Weirdest Diet of All

From: (Rev. Ivan Stang)

> (Nicole C. Michaud) wrote:
> >I've been on this diet for some time now, and I think it's about the only
> >one that a SubGenius can live with. The reason that I'm detailing it here
> >is because the more people I tell about it, the more disbelief I encounter.
> >Basically, you eat nothing with sugar, no fruit and very little
> >vegetables either, and no grains of any kind (especially NOT orange ones)-
> >little or no carbohydrates.
> >So the only thing you can eat is MEAT and CHEESE and butter and eggs,
> >heavy cream, etc.

In article <3nk3h9$>, (TarlaStar) wrote:

> Rev. much as I would LOVE to believe you, sincerely,
> deeply and longingly...I understand a little too much about physiology
> to go along with this. ((CLIPPED SOME))
> This makes me think of that scene in "Sleeper" where the doctors are
> discussing the benefits of cream pies, t-bones etc. while smoking
> cigs....

This is weird, but JUST YESTERDAY I had to kill time (!!!) and walked into
a used bookstore. There in front of me was an old fropmeister of the past,
one I had learned to avoid. (Philo will know EXACTLY who I'm talking
about.) One reason I avoid him is because he ALWAYS has some NEW, INSIPID
NEW AGE SCHEME that he's trying to sell you on. And this time was no
different. I mentioned our new book and he told me about his buddy's new
DIET BOOK. This buddy got a book published about an ALL-FAT DIET exactly
like what Rev. Nickie describes. I said, "Give me a break, that's a put-on
for sure!" But no, it isn't. This book is selling (whatever the title is;
my exfriend couldn't remember the title of his "buddy's" book!) and has a
following. Exfriend did mention that his "buddy," the diet author, is
himself a WRETCHED PHYSICAL SPECIMEN -- so take heed, Nickie, if you
picked up this diet from THAT BOOK. If, on the other hand, you picked it
up from some OTHER book, or even better just DRIFTED INTO this diet, well
heck, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Personally, I try to stick to the
sample diet outlined in Book of the SubGenius. I have to go easier on the
nails these days, though.

I wonder what Waves would say about it... haven't heard from him lately...
got a great big essay of his amongst the REV-X out-takes... HEY!!! I SAID


From: (John Blackmer)
Date: 22 Apr 1995 11:59:00 GMT

Babies have NOT "got it all wrong" when they GRAB EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND
PUT IT IN THEIR MOUTHS! Everything tastes DIFFERENT from everything else!
Taste your car keys! Your wallpaper! Melted crayons! The faces of random
passers-by! Lick your own armpits!

Don't worry about getting your tongue "gicky", a little dirt _won't_ kill
you, unless you LET IT. And everything does NOT "taste like chicken!"
Put your mouth to ANY Surface and SUCK HARD! Lick! Taste! If you can,
stick your entire hand in your mouth!

Everything you put in your mouth (in Slack) becomes the Sweet Nectar of
the Gods, the Last Wine of Madness and the Apocalypse, The Nipples
of Kali, the Divine Sacrament of Dobbs Yeti, all rolled into one!

-agsts q crosspatch


From: (NENSLO)

I remember back when Krishna was a little baby one day he was
sitting in the yard eating dirt like any normal child and his mom comes
out and says,"Krishna! What the hell are you doing? Get that out of
your mouth right now!" and Krishna toddles over to her on chubby blue
legs and opens his mouth and she looks in there and sees the WHOLE
UNIVERSE is in there. So she figured a little dirt wouldn't kill him.

-the original Campbell Kid,
o nenslo
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
This is a READER SUPPORTED ministry.


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