NEW Websites of the Gods (Winter '96)!
[A Whole Buncha Shit You Cain't See]
(WINTER '96)

Despite their copious Slack-time, our huge staff hasn't even SEEN most of the websites that follow! We've been so busy updating the art and texts of SubSITE that we neglected the LINKS... suggestions for which have been stacking up at and for MONTHS.

It might take that many MORE months for us to VIEW and GRADE, and then CATEGORIZE these... so let's just all do it TOGETHER, shall we? Like one big happy family of joyous, positive-thinking idiots. I.e., if you think any of these SUCK, let us know.

Another reason to just go ahead and post this list in an utterly random form, not broken down into subject matter, is that it's more REALISTIC from a SubGenius point of view -- not to mention ever so much more democratic. It's... why, it's just as if "Bob" himself chose them! It's a cross-section of THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO CONTACT US AND WANT TO BE ADVERTISED HERE, which is generally a pretty deranged mess of bipeds. Browse through these at random, and you'll get a feeling for what "real life" is like for a SubGenius... on weekends, anyway.

Most importantly of all, doing it this way is easier. (Anyone who wants to help us in our htmlin' duties is QUITE WELCOME to email us their improved versions.)

People email us about their websites, or those they fancy; we -- the Royal We -- earmark all such letters as they come in, and then when they stack up, copy them en masse to one giant text file, deleting all extraneous information. That's what you'll be reading below: extremely truncated letters from others. And that's why there are those little >> marks sometimes. Don't worry, we use only hand-picked, organic >> marks.

You might want to scan down the whole list before haphazardly clicking on the first things you come to. There's a lot of variety here, and the ENTIRE WORLD devoted to that ONE fetish that you thought NO ONE ELSE KNEW ABOUT, may well be the very link you DIDN'T GET TO.

We are sorry if our friends and special graftees got mixed in with poebuckers and Bobbies. We'll sort it all out when the dust settles.

SEE BELOW for new pricing scheme on WEBSITES OF THE GODS listings.



4 a GUD TIME CALL: Robert Anton Wilson/Pope Bob:

>One of the several websites put up for me by
>fans but the only one in which I add a new update reguarly.
>Keep the lasagna flying over Area 51!

Trolls, Hoaxes, Media Hacks, and Pranks

"Every sham shows there is a reality." -- P.T. Barnum
* Pranking Talk Radio: A step-by-step guide to getting on the air.
* Peter van der Linden trolls newspapers: S.M.E.G.M.A. keeps the pages safe, and a forged pro-drug editorial from the attorney general.
* Alan Sokal's Social Text hoax: Sokal managed to get Social Text to print a paper that Sokal packed with as much baloney as could fit.
* Princess Di caught on film and more: Say, isn't that the princess cavorting in her bra? The Star thought so, but nope, they got fooled...
* Joey Skaggs' "Sexonix" technodildonics company: Reported as fact here and there.
* Joey Skagg's "Solomon Project": Use artificial intelligence, not judges and juries, to decide fate of defendants.
* Grunge Lexicon Hoax: The New York Times printed this phony guide to grunge slang.
* Alan Abel, World's Greatest Hoaxer: Founder of the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals and a school for professional panhandlers.
* MIT student hacks the Morton Downey Jr. Show (and more): Posing as a member of NAMBLA, Christopher Coon drew the expected outrage.
* Tabloid talk-show hoaxers take on Oprah, Sally Jessy Raphael and Geraldo.
* School's Closed: The prank you wish you'd played in high school.
* Paul Krassner and The Realist: Who remembers LBJ skull-fucking JFK's warm head wound?
* Spy Magazine's "Bunny Burger" hoax: How will P.R. firms compete to represent a mythical fast food rabbit meat chain?
* Do not resist your beating!: Official-looking police notices popped up in California after the Rodney King verdict, announcing martial law in bureaucratese.
* The Barbie Liberation Organization and more: Switch the voice chips at the toy store and Barbie says "Vengeance is Mine" while G.I. Joe says "Let's Go Shopping!"
* Cheap Suit Santas terrorize christmas shoppers in marauding packs.
* High Mass: And then the priest said, "Brothers, God is dead." Gotta have cojones to pull this one off.
* Crass!: Punk rockers make the press think they've been duped by the KGB. They got the 'duped' part right.
* Unselfish Service: How the Texas House of Representatives officially praised the Boston Strangler.
* Robber disguised as Bob Dole urges teller to vote.
* Arm the Homeless! and more: Just because they live on the streets doesn't mean they don't need their Second Amendment rights defended!
* Taco Bell buys the Liberty Bell: Corporate April Fools' joke infuriates many.
* BBC's avant-garde music hoax: Banging pots and pans, essentially, but at least one music reviewer took it seriously.
* Jerry Rubin and more: Media prankster first class.
* A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public: This classic spoof was written by Jonathan Swift and published anonymously in 1729.
* P.T. Barnum on hoaxing: "The public appears to be amused even while they are conscious of being deceived."
* H.L. Mencken's "Millard Fillmore's Bathtub" hoax: "The success of this idle hoax.... vastly astonished me." You can still find this one repeated as true today.
* The War of the Worlds: Orson Welles' panic-inducing radio show.
* Report from Iron Mountain and more: A wonderful hoax, supposedly put out by a government think-tank to come up with ways to cope with the threat of world peace. Dreamed up by 60s peaceniks and rediscovered by 90s militia conspiracy fans.
* Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion: My, but this one has some mileage on it. The Energizer hoax, you could call it... The Jews is taking over the world!
* The Good Times Virus Hoax: Don't read this e-mail! You might become infected!
* The Centaur Excavations at Volos: An exhibit of a centaur skeleton at a university library.
* The Roswell Tourism Incident: UFOs is big bizness.
* LSD in the water supply: Abbie Hoffman's yippie classic. They called out the National Guard to defend the reservoir against hippie chemical warfare.
* Piltdown Man: A classic fraud/hoax, the missing link on tour.
* The Cardiff Giant and more and more: Another classic fraud/hoax.
* Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! a major component of acid rain.
* Crop Circles and more and instructions on how to make `em.
* U.F.O. hoaxes and how to pull them off, if you're bored tonight.
* Hacked Government Web Sites The CIA and DOJ web pages were hacked and changed. The damage was quickly undone, but these folks archived it.
* The Electronic Revolution by William S. Burroughs. Theory of culture jamming in cut-up context.
* Art Sabotage and Poetic Terrorism by Hakim Bey.
* Paul is Dead: Turn me on, dead man.
* Shroud of Turin
* Pons' and Fleischmann's Cold Fusion or something like that...
* The Loch Ness Monster
* The Book of Mormon: P.T. Barnum ain't got nothin' on this, baby.
* The Church of Scientology: L. Ron's classic remake of the old religion scam.
* C & Unix: Some pranks go too far.

stare into the face of dobbs and weep

From: "Charles Albert Mangin" <>

Here is a link that should fit in somewhere:

rev stang?
rev ivan stang?
you're a jerk stang
i've been told to tell you to check out a web site with a picture of you
and your slackest friend...
it's the site of mei-ling sarin...
and look at the sit below too... they are fun!!!
A L I E N E Y E Z E - Z I N E


>>Research Archives - News Bureau - Catalog
>>Masonic Assassination and Conspiracy, Unabom/Kaczynski, World War Two
>>Revisionism, Talmud and Judaism; white working man's history,
>>anti-modernist philosophy, occult ritual murder and ancillary texts,
>>source materials and studies.

I have created a webpage using elements from your site and from The
Book of the SubGenius and Revelation X. If you are familiar with the
game Quake by Id Software, a system of 'Clans' has arisen, groups of people who play together and against each other. I have created the Clan of the
SubGenius, with the aforementioned imagery and many links to
Through the ClanRing (an organization set up to keep track of the 400+ clans) We are currently one of the top 20 sites receiving hits, and hopefully getting more people to reach the Official Church site.
Matt Ray

Eric Krieg <>

>also, consider giving skeptics a link - we are rare people that are
>willing to examine some extreme claims:
>I'm currently investigating a major conspiracy claim by inventor Dennis
>Lee who has raised millions from free energy investors. A wacky
>believers site is available at : and
>HTTP:// - it may look
>funny, but a lot of white trash bible thumpers will lose their trailer
>homes on this one.
>I take him apart in my pages starting at:

Subject: We Can Help Them...
Offers free WWW space to all religious groups. We can help them here, I
See Onan's Hoax at:
See Onan's Job at:
See Onan's Band at:
See Onan's Internet Project at:

> -- (It's 10MB web space, OK?)
>The Sacred Shrine of the Iron Twinkie and Orthodox Fundamentalist

>The obligatory homepage URL:
> "All the fluff and none of the substance"
>Smurfs in Hell - Definitely NOT for those with humor deficit disorder

John Shirley
HAVE YOU READ JOHN SHIRLEY'S SCI-FI, HORROR, MAINSTREAM, THRILLER or SEX NOVELS, in 3D? Well he's the most passionately fucked up SubGenius nevelist since Jonathan Swift. His most recent novel, SILICON EMBRACE (Mark Zeisig Press) is a GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL about Jesus and the Greys, and a SubGenius orgy, simultaneously.

if ewe get board, ive made my site more
obnoxious and stupid:
...I used the "Word" thesaurus to clarify the book of genesis...
Also, here's a bob page by another bob...he's a maniac, and you might
enjoy the drawings.



To empower users by delivering world-class drivel and meaningless
business catch-phrases at the click of a button, thus enhancing the
productivity of team members responsible for the development of vacuous
and delusive mission statements.


. High-performance paradigm shifts.
. A synergistic open standard which empowers superscalar committees.
. Ramp up progress on deliverables.
. Value-added gating factors.
. Reconfigurable ongoing support for increased productivity.


System Requirements: Macintosh with 68030 or higher processor, 2 megs
of RAM and 32-bit Color QuickDraw.


eMISSION STATEMENT may be obtained at the Lamprey Systems' Web Page
of the Damned ( or by
emailing Lamprey Systems at


Craig Mitchell (astounding collage artist):
Gallery of collages, a Brushwood page, a Gong page, a site I'm building for Arthur Brown (God of Hellfire, 1967), and a scrap book of concert photos.

The Virtual Fooles Troupe (c)
.....And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...;
Virtual Fooles Troupe:

A working beta version of the
WWW Psychedelic Bibliography

The bibliography now accepts boolean keyword searches!

I stumbled across this posting while doing a search for impotent sea
snakes. Being an impotent sea snake myself, I felt complimented that
your order was once named after my band. I am not into the whole Bob
thing, but we support anything that appears as funny and twisted as
what you have going. Good luck in the campus campaign. Be sure to
check out the impotent sea snakes on HBO's Sex Bytes 5, airing June
28th. And look for our new record, God Save the Queens, in your local
stores.Also visit our web site located at
Buck Futt

Sensitive, tasteful humor

From: "David M. Boosamra" <>
Organization: Integrated Arts
BTW, I took the liberty of plugging your site to DEATH in the
Netherlands, Stockholm, and Prague. These people consider themselves the
governing body of artworks made primarily to be displayed on the
Internet. Sites of merit or extreme originality (of which you embrace
both) get posted on the home page, and URL's beyond.

The Official Earth Liberation Front/National Anti-Tesh Action Society

Now begins a new phase in the struggle to liberate the planet earth from
the alien agent John Tesh and his accomplices in Echelon. It is the view
of the E.L.F. that the struggle for planet earth cannot be won in the
absence of an informed populace. WE SHALL UNITE TO DEFEAT THE ALIEN
The Self-Actualization Through Firepower Magazine
P.O. Box 313
Farmington, MI 48332-0313

My site is located at: It is the
home page for my internationally syndicated comic panel CHAOS.

more Sultan of Brunei poop!

My spot is just a tucked away hole only to be seen by the eyes of the ignorant that have been haphazardly flung into the clutches of recently deceased cows as they pass their way from Greeley to the last place to be found

another futile attempt to overcome the truth of slack....

>At this time you can find the first part of "Il Dio di Internet" at

I have a section on my page with animated morphs (AVI format) people
can take a look at. I always had a link back to your site were people can
see some morphs made by someone else in a different format. I was wondering
if you can place a link back to my site pointing people there for
the same reason I pointed them to you.
-Bart Szyszka

My name's Mark Espinosa and I'm a writer/artist. Would you be interested
in diplaying some of my art. You can see samples of some of my grayscale
art at my homesite:
I generally draw demons and things of that nature.

I wonder if you'd care to take a look at the Pavement Terror web page,
which can best be described as a very unusual photographic exhibition:

You might also enjoy the Patty Page, but I dunno:>> You can never browse enough

Monsignor Alan Toner
The Garden of Delights
3 Castle St.
Dublin 8
i would have joined The Church of the Subgenius, but I couldn't get it

>>Congratulations! GameSpot,, has selected your site,
"Paul Mavrides" at, as an official
GameSpot HotSpot! We have posted a link under a game review that points to
your site!

>Congratulations! The Microsoft Network (MSN) web site,, has
>selected your site, The Church Of The Subgenius, as the pick of the week
>in the links area for Fun and Interest
>from Aug 21 to Aug 27, 1996.

We here at the Buhl Synod are really getting organized. Sort of.
(~Rev. C. Dale Slack III, Esq.XA~ Archbishop of Buhl)

Lair ov thee Wolfkitten (sade wufkitten)

I loved it, but would you ask your webmaster to replace the obsolete
addresses in the Bulldada quoting of my ABCDEF with the correct one:
Info about ADF can now be gotten by emailing <>, and
* Isaac Bonewits <> <> *
* "I speak for myself!" P.O. Box 1021, Nyack, NY, 10960 * 1-800-DRUIDRY


"We're gonna do our best to try and move you ... If you like the blues,
I think we can." B.B. King, 1966

Verily, it came to pass that IGGLE did reveal itself.
Verily, and again I say most verily, that an assortment of HTML was
meetly taped together and posted as an Official IGGLE Home Site.
Dr. Rev. Pope Illumnus Froon | * * * I. G. G. L. E. * * *
Episkopos of A.I.C., KSC, POEE, | Inter-Galactic Growth
and Generic Muckymuck. | Leadership Enterprises | LEARN PROACTIVE PHYSICS TODAY!

Pure Art
---"Unfiltered Entertainment on the Internet"
a revolutionary new vehicle for artists in all media to publish and
distribute their work throughout the world. Through our site, anyone on
the planet can discover the images, novels, songs, films and games
created, written, performed, produced and programmed by our
participating talented visionaries.

Subject: The King of the Baddest is the Baddest of all.

Right now I'm having an identity crisis. Normally I'm Jasmine
Sailing, editor and publisher of Cyber-Psychos AOD. I think
I sent a copy to you a couple of years ago but now I can't
recall. And I'm the humble Blasted One of Our Blasted Lady
of the Jellyfish.
$ L. Jas' Mother Hubbard $$$$$$$$$$$ (Read CPAOD and be ENLIGHTENED) $
$ $$$$$$$$ $
$ This fable is a TEST to the faithless masses. Know ye all and never
forget that the cupboard is only bare if she WILLS it to be. $
Proud sponsor of Uncle Dad's column
and my web page title is: Schizobeck's Home Page.

Hey.... there is a new subgenius website out there.....
It is called "Skippynet" there's a whole lot of stuff in there,
including a link to a "sub_g only page"....

You R Now N The Zoan

Links to: Animated GIFs, Awards, Cool Sites, Food Related Sites,
Java, Kid Stuff, Microsoft Plus! Themes, Music Related Sites,
Information, Pictures, Graphics and Multimedia, Real Audio, Web Rings
and Lines,

Stone Worship Design

Check out and let it all load
up. Then start saving and seeing the pictures in the gallery.

From: (cuthulu)
Organization: Radar Labs 23
Now in pre-beta testing mode, the IRC server:
If that doesn't work, try the IP address
{Kevan -}
{Don't Drink Soap! }
{Keep Out Of Eye! }
{Dilute! Dilute! OK! }
Dig My Cool Message Headers

Timothy W. DeVille

Still doing random acts of meaningless nonsense! Just like everyone
else, only, I know it.

From: Mayuko Nakamura <>
new bebsite
I just put something up at,
using stolen .gif files, etc. If you even care, take a look. Some
friends of mine had trouble getting in, so instead they searched under
"blake sterzinger" or "I Scream the Body Eclectic" on AltaVista and found
my main page. Once you're there, just click on David's penis and you'll
go to the page.



Here's how it works. We'll list anybody who pays, from Joe Camel to Joe Bobbie. DOBBS HIMSELF handed down this ultimatum.

To LIST your web page title and URL:
$5 (normal, plain text, font size=3)
$5 per font size above that (i.e., font size 7 is $20)
BOLD font is $15 extra
$25 for Rev. Stang to actually look at your website, per 15 minutes
$50 for Rev. Stang to make fun of your website.
$100 for Rev. Stang to say something nice about your website.
$250 per 33 k of your GIF or JPG art
$500 to actually make the TEXT MENTION of your web page into an actual active LINK.

Everyone listed here has paid up.


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ON to NEW Websites Pt. 2 (FALL '96)!!

Back to Websites of the Gods Part 1!

ON to Graphics Websites of interest
mainly to Computer 'Artist' Geeks!!

Back to the Master Map!

[NonLink Glif Image]