Pamphlet #1 - page 5
The SubGenius releases this pent-up nenergy in throes of JEHOVAH-SPAWNED MORAL DEGENERACY and RITES OF HILARIATION ("Within reason," cautions the Left Brain), just as his dogma, laws and tenets condone. We REBEL against the alien JEHOVAH 1 and yet PLACATE Him at the same time that He might not smite us with nuclear war, a worldwide economic disaster or hostile UFOS.
If we pay attention to the HINTS and ARCHETYPES he dangles like answerable mysteries before our eyes we may yet find a path of TIME CONTROL to the BEFORELIFE, where we came from and go after we die, and hence to SLACK in our lifetimes. Don't get Heaven and Hell all mixed up like most people do. Serve Jehovah 1 as He meant for you to, go forth on CAPERS and SCAMS and FORNICATIONS; your conscience is an illusion, there is merely an INSTINCTIVE BEHAVIOR CODE, to repress it is to suffocate, but never forget for a second that it is the monster god who allows this, who demands it, for "SCIENCE DOES NOT REMOVE THE TERROR OF THE GODS!" FEAR HIM but follow the hints of the accidents in your life, follow the PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE and you will gob out from under the sacrifices He demands of all the PINK BOYS around you, your FOLLIES and FOIBLES will show you where Slack lies and you will be able to relax and not get a heart attack. JEHOVAH KILLS those who drudge their lives away without knowing who He is, but he REWARDS the ones who recognize His STARK FIST and carry out His SEEMINGLY IMMORAL PLANS while SLACKING OFF EVERY CHANCE THEY GET.
JEHOVAH'S SPECIAL MESSAGE for the SubGenius is that THIS GROSS PHYSICAL PLANE DOES NOT EXIST and that the compulsion for success in the eyes of others is mankind's most FOUL invention.
THE SUBGENIUS IS JEHOVAH'S PRIME TOOL, he has a covenant with this deitoid Who is well pleased when His subjects have the wisdom to obey Him. It is the Sacred Chore of the SubGenius to SMITE and ELIMINATE the unwitting, slavish non-partners of Jehovah 1: the Great Unwashed, the Hoi Polloi, Them, the Conspiracy, the Mediocretins, the strange normal ones, the Somnambulacs, Assouls, Cage Men, Pink Boys, Bootlips, PO'Buckers, Bear-Baiters, Emp Loyees, Box Dwellers, Sarnes, Anthropophobiacs, Infidels, Conformers, Timeservers, Mole People, ComMen, Proleterritorials, Automates, Philistines, Pharisees, Sagisees, Witchburners, Skurnbozi, Thankers, Wankers and Blankers, Heilers and Smilers, Idi-Atts, Credit Heads, Sloths and Moths, Cons and Johns, Barbies and Kens, Cliants, Losers, Weepers and Sleepers, Dirty Invariables, The Slackless Ones, Dibbies, Corpulators, Signifying Monkeys, short, the Remnants of Man: the Witless Principals who are the FALSE PROPHETS, who have been holding us back and forcing Time Addiction on themselves...and...others.
No matter their I.Q.s they are all about a brick shy of a full load; they think they are high-temperature sinus effluvia on a silver platter but they are in actuality sub-zero mucus encrustation on a paper plate.
JESUS said, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." (Matt. 7:15)
"Take heed lest any man decieve you: for many shall come in My name, saying, I am Christ, and shall decieve many. . . for false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall show signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, the very elect." (Mark 8:5, 22)