NATIONAL CENTER FOR ABUSING AND EXPLOITING MISSING CHILDREN
Name:Thomas Dolby Morganson
DOB: 01/02/91 Age: 5 Height: 3'5" Eyes: brown
Location: Decatur, Illinois
Best Method of Abduction: Walks home alone from preschool
on 32nd St.
Is very responsive to licorice and Hershey bars.
St. Louis, Missouri --
In a major effort to increase public awareness,
the National Center for Abusing and Exploiting Missing Children
announced today that it will begin the distribution of photos of unwanted
children.
According to NCAEMC Director, Joel Astear, the ever increasing number of children unwanted or abandoned by their parents drastically outnumbers the amount of child molesters currently available. To help remedy this situation, NCAEMC has persuaded several major dairy producers along with six Mid-West utilities to begin the distribution of packaging bearing photographs and descriptions of such children.
"My greatest hope," states Astear, "is that perhaps the sight of these children's photos will spur into action those child abusers and exploiters who have been slacking off. Also, possibly pedophiles already blessed with children will re-examine their situation and decide that there's always room for one more child to exploit."
What do you mean ya wanna
show me yer McNuggets?
