Subject: How Can We Retain Our Sense Of Humor At Times Such As These?

From: "ren" <ren@bookofshadows.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2001 11:15 PM
Message-ID: <1Deo7.5375$QK.4557461@news1.sttln1.wa.home.com>

I just can't bring myself to lampoon anything about these events.

I guess I'll have another masturbation session. It reduces stress. My doctor
told me so.

alt.facials.bob.and.connie

Here I cum again!
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Subject: Re: How Can We Retain Our Sense Of Humor At Times Such As These?
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2001 11:23 PM
Message-ID: <3BA17817.1615@succeeds.com>

ren wrote:
>
> I just can't bring myself to lampoon anything about these events.
>

Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad
Other things can make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble -- give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best, and...

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life

If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing, and...

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life

Life is quite absurd, and death's the final word
We must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin
Enjoy it -- it's your last chance anyhow, so...

Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You can see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you, and...

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life...

--
"Nature abhors a peasant. You will soon see
a violent demonstration of this fact."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How Can We Retain Our Sense Of Humor At Times Such As These?
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 14, 2001 3:26 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-1409010126130001@208-135-242-133.dial-up.ipa.net>

Easy. I was half nuts to begin with. If I was not so equipped, I would
have been flying one of those big bastards. Fortunately, I was saved by
Cosbyism. The electrodes look nasty, but fuck you, I feel positively
smashing.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Actual Excerpts From Student Science Exam Papers:
"To remove dust from the eye,
pull the eye down over the nose."
Yeah. Then let the optic nerve stalk
snap it back like a rubber band.

"You will never find a more wretched hive
of scum and villainy."
- Alec Guiness, "Star Wars"

"I'm terribly violent.
I've often had the urge to kill.
I love knives, blades, not revolvers-
they make an absurd noise-
no, a silent blade with a fine taper."
- Colette

"Great, I've got a date
with the Duchess of Discipline
and my battery's dead."
- "Night Court"

Hunter S. Thompson does WTC:
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/thompson/010912.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How Can We Retain Our Sense Of Humor At Times Such As These?
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 14, 2001 4:50 AM
Message-ID: <opg3qtsfftmfjbfau5f4t3f078sbejs26l@4ax.com>

On Fri, 14 Sep 2001 03:15:09 GMT, "ren" <ren@bookofshadows.org> wrote:
>I just can't bring myself to lampoon anything about these events.
>I guess I'll have another masturbation session. It reduces stress. My doctor
>told me so.
>alt.facials.bob.and.connie

Actually, from what I saw on IRC last night, "Bob" is returning to
this Church. The folks here are still sad and still outraged, as we
should be, but we're no longer numb. We were laughing again, and
joking, and making fun of all the sheer idiocy and Pinkness we are
seeing in the aftermath of the disaster. Yes, there are many great
things happening, such as the rescue of the fire fighters who took
shelter in the SUV; or the uncovering of the story of what may turn
out to be the reason why the fourth plane crashed in an unmanned
woods, rather than into the White House.

But there has also been true Pinkness, as we've seen from Jerry
Falwell and Sylvia the "psychic" and CNN's Tom Clancy interview and
those stupid "news" questions like "Did this attack make you fear for
your safety? Answer yes or no." There is much here for SubGenii to
revel in -- unfortunately -- and it is our religious duty to do so.
We do not have to sit here in front of our TVs and PCs and cry for the
rest of our lives. The tears are flowing, but as the shock begins to
fade then we return to who we are. We are mutants, of course, and we
are still doing our best to show the world up for the farce that it
is. That hasn't changed, nor will it ever change.

Even in the face of war (whoever we go to war against), there is still
Slack to be had here. All you have to do is look.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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Original file name: How Can We Retain Our Sense Of - converted on Saturday, 15 September 2001, 20:35