Stang version:

Celebrity-only turnout, gorgeous weather, excellent music and brainraping. The weirdo-hating neighbors did not storm the compound with torches, merely lurked at the perimeter trying to videotape things and titties through long lenses.

Wei and I did not attend the Sex Temple events late Saturday night. Not the ones at High Rock Ranch, anyway. I'm eager to hear, not see, how those went.

Just being back in Texas is Slack enough, if you're in the right parts of Texas, such the Mexican restaurants near G. Gordon Gordon's house in Austin. (Not Taco Bell.) The Stang Ranch and High Rock Ranch aren't bad either. At Stang Ranch, the goats shit their pellets into X shapes, rocks and nuclear power collant pipes crack along X-shaped lines, and at High Rock Ranch, the fire ants and scorpions build mounds in X patterns. The bull-nettle leaves X-shaped welts.

Other parts of Texas are nightmarishly Pink and corny, like the Houston airport. But even there, bulldada can be found. There is a larger-than-life brass statue of Emperor George Bush I that I swear to GOBBS must be a joke. This statue is terribly noble, of course; George is facing purposefully into a STRONG WIND, which is blowing the jacket he's carrying over his shoulder, blowing it so forcefully that it's flapping straight out behind him. But certain aspects of the statue make it hard not to interpret this as his jacket being blown by a TREMENDOUS FART he's emitting. His left hand, swinging back near his BUTT in mid-stride, is clutching a thick book with the words "WINDS OF CHANGE" on the cover. The name of the statue itself is "Winds of Change."

Everything at teX-Day was as advertised. There were multiple Buzz Lightyear Launchings, both sacred and profane, using both rockets and golf clubs; the rock band Bright Shadow and the speed death hate metal band Lesh-Nyhan played; there was a huge bonfire, presided over by Bobot, the famous robot from #subgenius on IRC; there was COFFEE; ranters ranted and The Great Groovy Neptune started a Dr-jam that grew to encompass much of the audience and all of the grubby little kids, and all of THEIR TOYS.

We knew many of the SubGenii there, the Old FrankenDoktors like Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, Dok Frop, Sister Decadence, and Col. Sphinx Drummond, and also some of the nice SubGenius Youth from IRC-land, that we had met at the previous Tricksterian devival -- Revs. Dreadstone, Dragonfly, Maggie, Simon Zero, and some whose names are blocked out right now because of the drugs. I had a canker sore and had to keep putting drugs in my mouth. I finally met the crusty but benign Rev. Chupacabra, who is OLD AS ME! I had been under the mistaken impression he was a young fellow, and kept wondering, "Who the hell is that cantankerous old redneck, hanging around acting all familiar??"

A major highlight for me was seeing The Great Groovy Neptune perform live for HOURS, and filming them from the stage. I was already a big fan of this band's psychedelia and mind-control music, as heard on Bobsongs CDs and the 6X-Day video. The jam was like the old Drs. 4 Wotan days, only with girls around. I also got what should be a good video/audio of Loke E. Coyote's solo set. Plenty of Hour of Slack fodder once I decompress it all.

Rev. John Boy of The Great Groovy Neptune blew my mind by handing me, for the "Bob" Museum, a god damned YETI STATUE that he had made -- very well crafted, about the size and detailing of a Ray Harryhausen stop-motion model. If I could talk some insane genius into building a ball and socket stop motion model skeleton just the right size, and another insane genius to imbed it in a foam rubber copy of this Yeti sculpture, and another insane genius to spend three years animating it and building sets...

High Rock Ranch itself is the real star of teX-Day. Wei and I spent a lot of time just exploring and inspecting. There are 50 acres with antbed-like trails running through VERY DECORATED WOODS, with artwork, Mysterious Objects and shiny baubles everywhere. Miniature gardens, tiny gnome ranches under trees, Xmas ornaments and Mardi Gras beads hanging from trees like fruit, hidden grottos of weirdness, like the Blair Witch Project crossed with a disco. As I understand it, most of the art is by Rev. Hel, aka Jes, "Mrs. Trickster."

God almighty can she dance.

Wei is an amateur botanist and I'm an amateur zoologist, so we were in Hog Heaven investigating the intense bark patterns, say, or the intereactions between the three major ant species and the ant lions. Princess Wei thought I was pulling her leg about the ant lions.

She also thought jackelopes and squirrel-bats were merely the stuff of folk tales!

THE YETI STATUE SURVIVED THE TRIP and is now on the Miracle Mantelpiece with the Salacia Heart Candle, between the Smilodon Skull and the Pappy Stang Bust, beneath the matching "Bob"/Anti"Bob" Full Metal Dobbsheads.

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