art by numen remissionis "The very fact that we've released these mere hints of The Final Information to the public will make the awesome chain of events unfold faster."

- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, The Book of the SubGenius Chapter 20, page 182.

art by numen remissionis

Miscellaneous Masturbieces
Subject: nenslo
NENSLO explains to a duped populace the horrors of not 'losing the wig.'
Subject: Slack
Also known as The "Slack is a warm puppy" Document. J. Claussen and Geoff Spear discuss the vague meanings of Slack.
Sterno's Deals of a Lifetime!
Classifieds on the Internet, STERNODOX style!
An Explanation of the Male-To-Female Discrepancy in The Church of the SubGenius
One of the finest CLASSICS of SubGenius literature, New Orleans' own Deaconess of the Second Church of Schismatics, Rev. Nanzi Regalia explains it all for you. If you are an UberFemme Fatale seeking wisdom in the church, this is the place to be. If you be of the other persuasion, READ UP PINK BOY! MAYBE YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHIN!
G. Gordon Gordon slaps the alt.slack newsgroup with some much needed spooge. Joe Newman, Dynasor, Lou Duchez, Mutha Tarla, Sphinx Drummond, St. Ain-Soph, Rev. Pee Kitty, William Barwell, Zoogz Rift, Michael Townsend, Andrew Matthews, John Lyons, Sternodox, Doktor BoogieDown, and others all respond to Rev. Ivan Stang's 'Grand Design'. Well except for that Doktor Zachary Carleton character. What the hell does he think he is anyway? Funny or sumphin? What a pinkboy!
The War for Obscurity
Rev. Matthew A. Carey shines illumination upon the repercussions of today's general existence of things. Anarch and Townsend add their two cents.
The "Truth" from ""Bob""
J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs makes an appearance in alt.slack. Rev. Stang conjures 'the test.' Tarla Star channels Connie. Captain Midnight takes pot shots. Joe Newman asks a serious question. Dynasor sends in the SLAK TROOPS. Kevan Smith calls first dibs on the sales ninja. Michael Straight would rather be a hypocrite. Then Lou Duchez gets bored with the church.
Hatred. A Sermon.
Rev. Andrew Matthews serves up a couple quotes and chews on them.
What I Hate, part 01
Andrew J. Testa defines hate and cites examples. John Searcy, NENSLO and IceKnife stoke the hate.
What They Did To Someone With No Face
An anonymous guy with a bag over his head walks into alt.slack, and SBJohnston disproves his points while simulaneously proving them at the same time. This one makes you think. Not for the squeamish or nonintellectual types, unless you're the sort who likes to beat up on people with a bag over their head.
How to Be an Elder God
Montykins separates the facts from the Sally Struthers, in a two parter of which there's only one left.
How To Be Annoying
Montykins continues relatively where he didn't leave off in his continuing series of how to do things. The fact that we can't find part one is really annoying...
The Tragically Hip
Douglas P. Ratcliff takes a trip to see the Doktor...
I Was Abducted By Aliens
Reverend Ivan Stang shares intimately with the alt.slack populous his gut wrenching and tear jerking testimonial of his experience as 'An Abductee.' He gets inundated by email and tells everyone he was 'joking.' Rev Pee Kitty sets the record straight, sort of, and the longwinded Doktor Zach rambles on about completely uninteresting stuff entirely which no one really cares about. Will someone just kill that guy???
Brag of the Blasphemer
Multiple Jesii duke it out and Stang heads for cover. Includes the Plastic Jesus, the Video Jesus, The Grand Clavister Jesus, The Dynasor Jesus, the Stereo Jesus, and the Fourth Christ of Ypsilanti.
Mixed Marriages, Again.
Andrew J. Testa reveals to us the horrors of being married to a Normal, Stang comforts the disturbed Yeti soul as only a true SubGenius Minister can.
"The Briefing" by Reid Fleming
a Cult of the Dead Cow communique by Reid Fleming. Read it, enjoy it, or be prepared to have the World's Toughest Milkman piss in your aquarium. This may very well be one of the most interesting and revealing documents in this little collection. Is it real or a hoax? Is there a difference?
Dance to Heal the Earth
An anonymous individual waxes metaphorical. Kid Ginsu, Dynasor, and others try to persevere.
The Famous "Face Launching" Scene
Republic Dogs by Nathaniel Daw Socrates pistol whips Thrasymachus with Aristotle looking on. Care for a bit of the theatre, you culture hungry mutherfuckers? Thanks go to Michael Townsend for unearthing this one. Also a rant by Dr. Rev. Nucleus is tagged down at the end there..
E R A T O - C O M A T O S E L U C I D I T Y
As it is written: Let me die the death of the Righteous, and let my last end be like his! From someone who loves his space bar just a little too much.

This file was converted in a big hurry, then later tweaked by Doktor Zachary Carleton.
Background by Plastico.

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