X-DAY XIV
JUNE 29 - JULY 5, 2011,
Wisteria Event Campground,
about 20 minutes from Athens, Ohio

NEW (as of 7-23-11): Detailed Photo Essays, Text Reports and Audio files (of which the collection has just begun, with many more to be added, plus videos):

The 14X-Day Photo/Gossip/Recordings Stash

PREACHERS/PERFORMERS/EVENT-MAKERS/CHEFS:

This is THE SubGenius World Destruction Event and Annual Migration to our spawning grounds!

ARISE, MUTANTS!

After 15 years of holding X-Day Drills at one place, we have moved to a new venue, Wisteria. The old place changed; the new place is more like the old place used to be.

As always, our annual main SubGenius event is held in the middle of nowhere, is hard to get to without a car, and requires camping or else staying at a motel miles away. (Well, to be honest there's a Super 8, WalMart and Kroger about 15 minutes away.)

Hey, if SubGeniuses were Normals, X-Day Drills and such would be held in motel conference rooms. Like the gamers. Like the sci-fi fans and the comics fans. Like the Scientologists, Mary Kay sales people and the Grace Glory Baptists. Like the BOBBIES.

But we are SubGeniuses, and X-Day is not a convention. IT IS AN ADVENTURE.

It might be brutal at times. CORRECTION: it WILL be brutal at times.

But those times are exactly what make the CONTRAST. They make the heights ever so much HIGHER. And, sometimes, two SubGeniuses get stuck under a borrowed tarp in a rainstorm, and fall in love, and get married, and have kids, and get a divorce. BUT THEY STILL COME BACK TO X-DAY.

Sure. You might meet your True Yeti Mate or have your peak experience at a comics con in a motel. But it will not be an ADVENTURE. It will not be THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE OF MAN AGAINST NATURE, AGAINST THE VERY ELEMENTS, AGAINST, YES, GOD ITSELF!! JEHOVAH ONE! ARE WE TRULY BUT SPACE PUPPETS?!? NAY, "BOB" SAYS, NAY!!!

"The brutal times form a protective barrier around all the SLACK at X-Day. You have to go through the brutality-field to get to the pure, rich, ambient slack that suffuses the event, but when you leave the Slack comes with you." -- Dok Holocaust


WHERE??!? WISTERIA Event Campground and Nature Retreat, Pomeroy, Ohio, USA!
(20 min. from Athens, Ohio and Ravenswood, West Virginia)

FACEBOOK X-DAY 14 PAGE

Photo Gallery of Wisteria during Starwood, July 2010, with a detailed description of facilties, by Rev. Stang

NEW: Photo Gallery, with new and even more detailed text descriptions, of Wisteria, Athens, Pomeroy and environs from late May exploratory trip -- a handy "FAQ."

HOW MUCH??? Only $30. The cost is not very brutal. $30 for the whole week -- for ordained SubGenius Ministers. If you aren't ordained yet, you'll have to spend another $30 to become ordained. A CHEAP PRICE for SALVATION, if you think about it. Also a cheap price for ANY weekend-long, totally spectacular and weird campout -freakout-musical/religious event. You can register at the event (after 1 pm each day).
NOTE: CAMPING is another $10 per person, paid to Wisteria. There are motels nearby, in Athens, Pomeroy, Ravenswood WV, and Carpenter.

All art this page: Dr. K'taden Legume except "Get Excited," by Rev. Bruce Perry

DIRECTIONS TO WISTERIA Wisteria General Info THINGS TO BRING/ AVOID
X-DO'S AND X-DON'T'S X-DAY RIDES BOARD GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS
Nearest Liquor Stores, SHOPPING WISTERIA's website MAP OF WISTERIA SITE
WISTERIA CAMPING DETAILS X-DAY SUPPLIES
SubG Live Chat Room

14 X-Day Souvenir Propaganda Garments and Other Products
Wonderful souvenirs to cherish! -- Touching reminders of the last days of your life on planet Earth and your liberation by Dobbs. Shirts, hoodies, kids' clothes, mugs, steins, Liquid Frop Bottles, all emblazoned with the new 14 X-Day art by Dr. Legume and/or this year's antique bug porn "squirrel shots.". NEW ONES were added June 20.

For the careless and CARLESS: HOW TO GET THERE
Priestess Pisces (main organizer) says:
Greyhound will bring you right to Athens, Ohio, which is a mere spitting distance from Wisteria, and we can get a friendly Yeti to give you a ride in. For air travelers, Wisteria recommends the Port Columbus International Airport, and again, we have Friendly Yeti Volunteers making runs back and forth if you arrange it with Pisces. Train service in the area isn't as nice, however. You should also ask around on the 14X-Day Facebook Page, our various SubGenius Internet forums, the chat room and the RIDES BOARD.

Until June 26 YOU CAN CALL OUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER IF YOU HAVE SECURITY QUESTIONS:
1-888-669-2323 (if you leave your phone number on our message machine, do so S L O W L Y and CLEARLY).

You can become as involved as you want, way ahead of time, via
SCRUBGENIUS forum
(Only ordained SubG Members may join .)

or (even better) the FACEBOOK X-DAY 14 PAGE

WHAT IS X-DAY? Read the SubGenius Pamphlet #1
and see the extensive illustrated reports and videos on the previous X-Day Drills below

FUNNIEST SUBGENIUS INSIDE-JOKE X-DAY VIDEO EVER MADE,
by Dr. Legume, in response to RECENT DIPSHIT DRAMA


Confirmed Preachers, Bands, Banneds, & Doktors:

* Dr. Hal * Dr. K'taden Legume * Priestess Pisces * Rev. Susie the Floozie * Rev. Ivan Stang * Papa Joe Mama * Dr. Philo Drummond (?) * Puzzling Evidence (?) * DJ Shaver * Dr. Nickie Deathchick Wild * Princess Wei "R." Doe * Doktor Dark * Pater Nostril * Rev. Chris Lee/QUIJIBO Gang * Rev. Jannus Blackseed * Ministry of Slack * Pope Jimbo de Limbo * Popess Pantiara Evockavitch * Taphouse Gang * Rev. Feit C Taj * and a slackload of others whose real names might mean little here YET, but no doubt will strike fear in the hearts of millions by July 6. If there is one.

BANDS:

ZERO DEFEX aka 0DFX * THE EVOLUTION CONTROL COMMITTEE * FAT FREE * PHAT MAN DEE * THE DUKE OF UKE * MUNKY HYV * DJ 2B * ANDREW THE IMPALED * TOMMY AMOEBA * BORON NUZZLE * EATING WIRES AND FIRES * CULT OF ZIR * 6 FISTED TAILS OF CONNIE * 720k * Sam Snow

DONATE to help bring SubGenius pros DR. HAL and/or Phineas Narco to X-Day:

NEW: Printable Brochure PDF SCHEDULE OF 14-X-DAY EVENTS
(It's made for 11x17" paper so may look miniaturized on your printer)
"Nothing exceeds like Xs!" - Rev. Just John art below left by LEGUME

It's time to KISS ALL CALENDARS GOODBYE!
There'll be

Full Immersion Mass Bobtism!

SubGenius Costume Ball / Beer Tasting!
(This year's theme: AN EVENING OF ANACHRONISTIC ANOMALY)
SPOUTING! with spewing

Dr. Dark's BULLDADA BADFILM DRIVE-IN of the Damned ! Featuring the LOST SKELETON duo, BIG MAN JAPAN, PLANET TERROR and MACHETE (poster here)

THE BADFILM GRINDHOUSE -- nonstop bulldada movies and shorts for 6 days, presented by My Inner Spoiled Child (See partial list)

THE BULLDADA AUCTION! Bring weird stuff to be sold!

MASS SHORT DURATION MARRIAGE!

LIVE HOURS OF SLACK every day with Stang, Dr. Hal, Rev. Susie, Dr. Legume, Ministry of Slack, many more!

MASS EATING!
Scrapple Toss, Pancake Orgy, 'Frop Beating, Time Killing!
THE BOBBIE AWARDS!
SIDESHOW MARVELS!
TUBS AND TUBS OF PURPLE KOOL-AID!
ALT.SLACK TROLL SHOOT!
SPONTANEOUS DOKTORBAND COMBUSTION!
TRAINED PRAIRIE SQUID GIGGIN'-PARTIES!

(Free Debeaking Tools to first 5 giggees)
SPORTS FIGURE BODY PART LAUNCHING!
NUDE CHAINSAW JUGGLING!
'FROP ENHANCEMENT WORKSHOPS!
ACUBEATING!
PSYCHIC SURGERY!
HUMANFIGHTS!
LIVE FREAKS OF NATURE and ACID CASUALTIES!
FACE FUCKING BAT SPERM ANTIDOTE PUDDING COOK-OFF!
BOBBIE ROPING!
PRIVATE ADULT SEXHURT SEMINARS!
BONOBO CHIMP GOBBLIN' CONTESTS!
SELF-MUTILATING PREACHERS!
ODDLY NORMAL-SEEMING PEOPLE!
SEX GODDESSES, ELDER GODS, and XISTS!!!

IMAGINE -- the SHEER POWER TO BE BULLIED BY FAMOUS SUBGENIUS ZEN MASTERS FOR THE LAST TIME!!

IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to BUY EVERY SUBGENIUS TRINKET, ARTIFACT and GEEGAW EVER MADE by ANY SUBGENIUS at the "Final Fire Sale Black Fleece Market of Slack SALES SHACK".

IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to meet those amazing, intriguing individuals you've heard on the radio, seen onstage, or read in alt.slack and the holy Church books -- AND, POST-RUPTURE, ATTACK THEIR ESCAPE VESSEL BATTLE PLANETS WITH YOURS!

IMAGINE -- YOUR BIG CHANCE to WIN BACK YOUR SOUL!!!

You'll be able to tell your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandkids, "I was at the X-Day Final Gathering in legendary Wisteria... Yep! 'Fropped up with the great Dr. Legume hisself there... even fucked Connie Dobbs! And "Bob" fucked me -- right good, I'd say!"

"The X-Day house party and fin d'seacle freak show "parade" is something even the back-to-gabbers do, with a pumped up number of beats per minute, ten pils down your gob for 20 hours of chomping your bit, no ambience save for a couple of yellow cube lights haven't been able to kill.

"Also consider the fact that bouncing around on bad 'frop (probably Lunk, if nothing worse) or bad Church Air (probably jenkem, if nothing worse) is considered a definite no-no, never mind what you heard. And then, is it really your idea of fun to stand around some crossroads with no clue as to your whereabouts, with an Ohio map in hand which has snakes for roads crawling about, because you're hallucinating like an oilslide? Well then, simply get to know a few people first, which is not such a hard thing to do at X-Day Drill, and all kinds of possibilities will, if need be, arise by their own accord. In the meantime, remember: there's much more to be discovered!" - X-Day Guidebook (well actually from an Amsterdam guide book, but it works)

IT HAPPENED BEFORE!
Some of it, anyway
Check out these in-depth adults-only photo and text reports from alt.slack and beyond, by the SubGeniuses who lived through it

1996 X-Day Drill 1997 X-Day Drill 1998 -- !!! The Biggie 1999'S XX-DAY (NOT FOR KIDS!!)
XXX-DAY 2001 (Triple X-Rated) 4X-DAY- HUGE PHOTO REPORT, MASSIVE NEWSGROUP FEEDBACK 5X-DAY 6X-DAY - ADULTS-ONLY PHOTOS, ART, MOVIES!
7 X-Day 8X-Day 9X-DAY PHOTONOVELLA TEXT REPORTS ON 9X-DAY
PHOTO & ESSAY REPORT on X-DayX -- by actual reporters on a legit news site! X-DAY 11 REPORTS FROM ALT.SLACK -- The Testimonials of The Survivors 11X-DAY PHOTOS XII-X-DAY COMPLETE REPORTS
XIII-X-DAY 2010 Special Nude Pictorial on Vintage Early X-Day Drills (ADULTS ONLY!!) Yet More Adults-Only Vintage X-Day Drill Shots (HOT!!)

VIDEO FROM PREVIOUS X-DAYS:

ALSO: The entire edited new 6X-Day documentary is now available in our catalog AS A FINISHED DVD

THINGS WE NEED:
HELP from people who are not totally incompetent. We offer "JOBS" like trash clean-up, stage decoration, tech help, airport and bus station runs, product sales, etc., whereby you can work off your $30 entrance fee. This is called SLACK BARTER. Email Priestess Pisces, who is in charge of that and just about everything else.

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