alt.slack Attack

If you don't know what alt.slack is by now, what good are you? It's a newsgroup where SubGenii from all over the world rant and rave, converse about death, life and Elvis. Oh, and occasionally they get around to mentioning "Bob." It's like a SubGenius Media Barrage tape where everyone's talking at once, only you read the words and HEAR it in your head.
Picture of Bob
art by Nick Smith and Del Harris

Some Thoughtful Meditations from SISTER TARLA
Reverend Mutha Tarla of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy
Tell the truth...are we all crazy?
I come from a long line of manic-depressives, and I'm PROUD of it.

Also featuring Rev. Pee Kitty, Col. Sphinx Drummond, Rev. Stang, LesLucid, Dynasor, John Blackmer, Anthony "Slug Of Doom" Hobbs Wellington, St. Ain-Soph, Michael Townsend, Rev. Matthew Carey, Lou Duchez, SBJohnston, and Terror Australis Clench the Downunder Overwoman
Pervasive Pinkness and the Creation of SubGenii
They all looked like cookie cutter people.

Also featuring Rev. Pee Kitty, The Grand Clavister, John Lyons, and IceKnife.
The Luck of the SubGenius
I get the deal that they really didn't want to make but just can't resist because they'd really like to fuck me.

Mutha Tarla reveals how "Bob" has blessed her and enriched her life.

Meaningful Musings by LES LUCID
A list of reasons why.
Isn't Dying Funny?
After establishing that neither of us were queers, the stage was set.

Also featuring posts from Stang and the Lo-Cal Jesus.
It's the Way I Feel, Today
Maybe boning gets boring because it always ends the same way, if you know what I mean.

Also featuring a response from Matthew Carey.
A Different Kind of Ass
Clyde was very tight with his ambition. It made him tight in the ass. . . All that he ever produced were pathetic little high-pitched farts.

Also featuring replies from Rev. Stang and John Lyons.

Nixon on Hee Haw
Joe Newman revisits the infamous HeeHaw barbershop comedy sketches. Tarla, Drummond, Stang, and Sambo join in.
On a Dare
The thread starts with Modemac daring Dynasor to post a message about "Jesus' Dad and stuff" to Christian newsgroups and then discussion disolves into golfing lessons. Also features Tracy Walsh, Kevan Smith, and Thomas McCormick from
Quitting Your Job for "Bob"
Kevan Smith repents, quits his job, and sounds off. Dynasor and Drummond help him with this letter of resignation. John Hattan shows how it's done. Montykins and Iain Cunningham add their two cents.
Reading DesCartes
Les Lucid becomes enlightened. NENSLO teaches us a lesson about irrational qualifiers. Dynasor and Anarch chime in.
Dr.Allosaurus tells a SubGenius parable. Stang hires him on the spot.
Space Shuttle Haiku
Andrew J. Testa reveals to us his poetic side in seventeen syllables and several space shuttle miscalculations.
Stang relays to the alt.slack populous his tragic tale between a crazed psychopath in a truck and his spleen. John Lyons, Captain Midnight, The Grand Clavister, Mark Smith, SBJohnston, and others offer their sympathies.
Andrew Testa Declaration
Andrew Testa declares ...things.
Bangers 'n' Mash crossposts an 'advertising scenario,' Stang cries out for another rich eccentric to fund the infomercial, and Tarla passes as a housewife.
Dynasor tells a tale about a Con, Prem offers a parable about word association, Tarla wipes, ItchyMango just blurts it out, Matthew Carey drives it home.
Ferengi Rules of Aquisition STNG
From Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, John Foust provides for a Shawn Earnest the Sacred Ferengi Rules of Aquisition as of spring 1995. No doubt there's more of them by now.
Golfers fur "Bob"
Kevan Smith counts his clubs, Dynasor putters along, William Barwell suggests using the six, Montykins feels all should have one, Wolfgarsch makes an obvious connection but then relates it to Sega Game Gear, Matthew Carey discusses the ensemble of any fashion conscious SubGenius golfer.
Intelligence Test
Simon Wagstaff offers an intellectually stimulating challenge and Montykins responds in classic style.
Is any of the Church Nerve Gas missing?
Black Olive Jesus, IrRev Finagle, Dynasor, and Rev. Leo Damascus inspect the archive vaults when Stang's not looking and partake of some good old-fashioned Church Air(TM)
J Random Crosspost...
Jesus with Anchovies treats alt.slack to Trimorphic Protennoias.
Joe Newman Licks Dick
Joe Newman talks to disgruntled postal workers, Zoogz Rift recites dialogue from a Taylor/Burton flick, Anarch redefines potal discourse, Tarla Star requires new fluids, Paul G. mentions Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, Stang mentions Richard Nixon and that "Bob" guy, Andrew Mathews pulls out his trusty Blackmail-O-Matic, Doktor BoogieDown slants the Luck Plane, and Elayne Wechsler-Chaput finds the connection.
Latest Autorant
This is a historical document, children! Dynasor channels the machine, Stang consults with marketing, "fud" offers his friend as a sacrifice, Doktor BoogieDown compares software, eventually the Rant-O-Matic is born! History!
Lifestyle of the REVolution
M870's expose' on the Pink Normal Belief System.
An AOL user threatens to investigate the Church, and Stang marvels at how they don't just write POBox 140306 Dallas TX 75214. He also frets over the Slackless Children in Akron. Rev. Nickie gives testimony. Then the pieces of the puzzle are slowly put together.
X-DAY - The Motion Picture
Brian Thomas defends Spielberg's pink movie making, Dynasor goes into nitpicking mode, and Montykins finds Devil's Tower.
You Decide (#2)
John Lyons dwells on the past, IceKnife educates, Michael Townsend answers questions. Pope-King Biggles points out the obvious, Stang talks of Tokyo, Rev. Nickie loses control. Dynasor lets the pamphlets to the talking. Tarla has the last word.
Stang reveals some cutting secrets about the evil Anti-"Bob".
Those Nutty Pythagoreans!
Video Jesus extemporates symbiology.
Viking for "Bob"?
Justin Thomas Sampson talks of the past The Grand Clavister talks of the future, Eric Hillman just talks, Montykins proofreads.
You SHOULD Read This Post
Why should I explain to you what's in it? Just read it already!

Principia Discordia aka Malaclypse the Younger
Subgenii and Discordians

This file was converted in a big hurry, then later tweaked by Doktor Zachary Carleton.
Background by Plastico.

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